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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to need someone to come and tell me where I'm going wrong?

66 replies

BenedictCumberbitch · 30/07/2013 18:18

DS is 2.6.

Always been a naturally appalling sleeper (but luckily really easy going in the day!). Have done CC with him as a young toddler then rapid return as a bigger toddler, once he was in a bed. That had ironed out the worst of it, though early mornings were unavoidable.

These last 2 months he's been staying awake and whingeing for up to an hour once he's in bed (I've been going in every 10 minutes, tucking him back in & only saying 'goodnight' etc then walking out after 2 minutes max). He'll the wake at 11, then up to five more times after that, every hourish/hour and a half for no obvious reason. I can't seem to figure out why or get him to stop and am desperately tired Confused

Can someone please tell me what I'm doing wrong or what worked for you? Is it a phase I need to just wait out? Dreading the nights at the moment and can't do anything as well as usual as I've not slept a whole night in weeks. Pretty sure it's affecting him too...

THANK YOU!

OP posts:
Original poster
BenedictCumberbitch · 30/07/2013 18:19

(He doesn't actually get out of bed during the later wakings, just whines for ages).

OP posts:
dadinthehat · 30/07/2013 18:22

Is the room nice and dark?

Original poster
BenedictCumberbitch · 30/07/2013 18:24

Very Smile

He has a dim night light so you can make out the room, just about.

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Original poster
BenedictCumberbitch · 30/07/2013 18:26

(And I don't think it's fear/nightmares, as he's not scared and just wants me to go in).

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MalcolmTuckersMum · 30/07/2013 18:27

Is there something in the room or outside that makes a noise at that time - 11pm?

Jan49 · 30/07/2013 18:29

Ask Sherlock Holmes.Grin

RobotHamster · 30/07/2013 18:29

What do you do when he wakes in the night?

Original poster
BenedictCumberbitch · 30/07/2013 18:30

Not that i can tell.

I read a few things that suggest their sleep cycles are shorter than ours and they 'surface' every 2/3 hours. (Adults surface too, i.e when we roll over but don't normally wake). I think he's started waking in between those periods as it's every few hours spaced out.

Just not sure how to get him to settle himself, especially as I've tried to be as firm as I can about it.

I probably have no idea what I'm talking about Grin

I will literally try anything though!

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Original poster
BenedictCumberbitch · 30/07/2013 18:32

I should ask him!

When he wakes up I wait a few minutes (he occasionally settles himself) then go in, tuck him back in, try not to look at him & say 'goodnight' or something along those lines then walk straight back out & repeat until he settles. It usually just takes going in once but that's still breaking up the night quite a lot).

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RobotHamster · 30/07/2013 18:34

What happens if you ignore him or just plonk him back in bed without a word?

We had a terrible sleeper. I think this was about the age that the shouting started Blush

Dackyduddles · 30/07/2013 18:35

What happens if you ignore?

Original poster
BenedictCumberbitch · 30/07/2013 18:38

oh yes...he's in full shouty tantrum stage by the time I go in usually (it starts of as quiet whingeing but quickly reaches a crescendo!

I've tried saying nothing and that seems to make little difference. He just seems to be doing it to get me to appear the once (eventually).

I'm so tired that I'm half tempted to just leave him to it but I highly doubt that would work anyway & it's obviously not going to make being in bed a very nice experience if he thinks I've buggered off...

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trinity0097 · 30/07/2013 18:38

Could he be hot? Warmer weather for the last couple of months, tucking him back in could be just making him hot again? Try with just a sheet or duvet cover without the duvet in.

Original poster
BenedictCumberbitch · 30/07/2013 18:40

(I did ignore it for about half an hour last night & it just reached ridiculous shrieking/howling & he took ages to settle after that).

Should I maybe just leave it for longer? Maybe wait longer before I go in? And longer before any reappearances?

Thanks for the replies btw, I have no idea what to do atm as up until now CC and rapid return has worked really well but it's this sitting in bed & just howling that's making me feel a bit thick Grin

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Original poster
BenedictCumberbitch · 30/07/2013 18:41

He's a hot boy naturally so he's been in a nappy with a spare bed sheet over the top. Definitely not hot/ill etc

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FrogsGoWhat · 30/07/2013 18:43

Teething? Have his molars come through yet?

pudcat · 30/07/2013 18:43

He could be thirsty if it is really hot.

Original poster
BenedictCumberbitch · 30/07/2013 18:44

Got all his teeth now Smile

He has half a tumbler of water with him in bed in case, and sometimes has a sip.

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Original poster
BenedictCumberbitch · 30/07/2013 18:46

It's nearly bedtime..................................................Oh lordy. Wine

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RobotHamster · 30/07/2013 18:49

I'd change routine. Put him down a bit later after a particularly knackering day, try and do something to shake it up.

Original poster
BenedictCumberbitch · 30/07/2013 18:50

I've tried cutting his nap out today. So we'll see how that works!

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RobotHamster · 30/07/2013 18:50

We had a monitor with DS that we could talk over. Meant we could shout tell him to get back in bed without having to go in there

RobotHamster · 30/07/2013 18:51

Bed or cot?

SuzySheepSmellsNice · 30/07/2013 18:51

My DS has been waking me up a couple of times a night since the hot weather, so I do feel your pain. Thanks Its definitely a case of settling, good night, leaving... But it sounds like you're doing all of that anyway. I think in our case, he'd had a bit of milk on the nights when it was about 2 million degrees in his room and he thought he could keep trying... Hmm
Its hard work, and horrible to dread the nights. Good luck, and try to remain calm and patient though you might feel like banging your head against the wall until you lose consciousness

Original poster
BenedictCumberbitch · 30/07/2013 18:53

Bed...he wears a leg brace at night (clubfoot treatment) which meant he had to move to a bed very early on for spacial reasons! It never used to affect his sleep patterns though (and I've tried it without the bar, to see if it's related to that and he slept just as badly so I doubt it. Have also asked his consultant who thinks it's behavioral).

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