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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Pooing - is 30 mins + too long?

52 replies

deliakate · 20/07/2013 23:18

Is it normal in your opinion to spend upwards of half an hour pooing on the loo? Dh and his whole ro

Whole family do this and they think its normal. They take reading material in with them and spend at least 30 mins. Dh says he has a poo, waits and reads a bit, then some more comes, and it can happen 4 or 5 times.

I just go in the loo, poo, then come out.

Is spending ages for it all to come out normal?

OP posts:
Original poster
deliakate · 20/07/2013 23:19

Partly I think this has come about because their mother would not let them poo at school, so made them do one in the morning before they left the house?

OP posts:
kim147 · 20/07/2013 23:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AngryFeet · 20/07/2013 23:20

I am usually done in a couple of minutes. Dh spends ages in there. His diet is rubbish so he is probably constipated. But I reckon he hides in there to get out of helping with the kids Hmm

Original poster
deliakate · 20/07/2013 23:21

AngryFeet, same with dh. What with that and smoking he is always off 'doing' something

OP posts:
ShowOfHands · 20/07/2013 23:22

DH, both BILs, SIL and MIL are all like this. Take a book/newspaper/phone, disappear for 30 minutes at least. All describe it as you have done. FIL is on my side and thinks they're all bloody nuts. I'm an in, done, out in a minute person. I can make allowances for medical need and difficulties, but they all genuinely love their half an hour sitting on the loo, reading a book, making bad smells time.

mumeeee · 20/07/2013 23:22

No not normal. DD3 can spend 15 minutes on the loo well at least in the bathroom and we always tell her that's way to long, So 30 minutes is completely over the top and excessive,

ShowOfHands · 20/07/2013 23:23

They are positively gleeful when it gets them out of washing up/nappy changes/chores.

PenguinBear · 20/07/2013 23:25

My DP is the same... Takes his I-phone in with him and is usually around 20mins sometimes longer.

LordBrownington · 20/07/2013 23:29

'Making bad smells time' is now my brand new name for it. 30 mins is a lot. I hardly manage 2 Angry Birds' levels before I'm out these days.

I had a friend back at university who borrowed my books and returned them with tiny triangular folds in the corners of some pages. I asked him about them one day - he read them while making bad smells and they were his way of marking the page. Eww.

So eventually I could measure all my books in terms of smells (for example, 4 smells per book) or measure smells in pages (hmm, obviously ill on that day, a 100 page smeller right there).

Norfolknway · 20/07/2013 23:46

In our house I have renamed those visits the I-Poo.

madbengal · 20/07/2013 23:48

I have IBS so can sometimes take longer than 30 mins Blush but OH does "hide" in there with a book from time to time

AKissIsNotAContract · 20/07/2013 23:54

DP and I are both done and dusted in under 5 minutes. I'm totally vegetarian and he eats a bit of meat so maybe that's why. Poos slide out easily.

MrsMook · 21/07/2013 00:00

30 mins sounds unhealthy. Sounds like more water and fibre is needed!

My friend has bad loo habits. He's funny about where he'll go so will try and force himself in case, so it takes forever. Women give birth quicker and more quietly.

BusyLizzie99 · 21/07/2013 00:01

I always think long poo sessions with phones taken along are just secret wanking sessions. No body would want to sit in their own stench and 'read the news' for half hour.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 21/07/2013 00:01

I sit down and out it pops, but I know It isn't as easy for some people. DH likes to linger and read and DD (7) messes about but as we only have one toilet there is usually someone knocking at the door before too long. Never encountered anyone taking 30 mins though, surely your legs would go numb?

ComposHat · 21/07/2013 00:22

I enjoy a leisurely trip to the loo . I can assure you there is no wanking involved, just a good half hour reading and dropping rhe kids off at the pool. half an hour where no one can get at you and you can enjoy a nice view of your kneecaps.

Ace.

ReturnofSaturn · 21/07/2013 00:26

30 mins? I'm usually always done in more like 30 seconds. Even 5 mins is too long surely, if you need any longer than that surely you're not ready for the toilet yet

magimedi · 21/07/2013 00:28

Sit, shit, soap hands.

All over in under 5 mins.

Why waste time on such a routine thing?

WilsonFrickett · 21/07/2013 00:38

I can't do it under pressure. Need a wee sit down and read of my book before the kids will make an appearance at the pool, so to speak. Mind you, that means 10 mins tops. 30 is a bit weird.

AhamSaidJackLambe · 21/07/2013 00:52

My husband does this. Drives me crazy!

He announces that he's off for a poo and then goes off with his phone for at least 15 minutes. I really don't understand why he has to make such a performance of it.

Surely if you need a poo you just go in, poo and come out agin. I really don't get it!

AhamSaidJackLambe · 21/07/2013 00:54

Sorry, I didn't answer. Yanbu, 30 minute performances would drive me mad.

BridgetBidet · 21/07/2013 00:55

They weren't allowed to poo at school? That's just weird in itself.

cerealqueen · 21/07/2013 00:58

My DP too. I don't get it, especially at key times of day, eg DC breakfast, lunch, dinner, nappy changes....etczzzzzzz.

We at the same diet so its a complete mystery.

RubyGoat · 21/07/2013 01:05

YANBU. I'm usually pretty quick, unless the IBS is playing up. Even then I'm only 5 minutes. DH can be 45 minutes though. I think it's the meat consumption & lack of fibre, whereas I love my old fashioned veggie food & rarely eat meat.

picnicbasketcase · 21/07/2013 01:21

It is utterly bizarre. I can only assume that these people are going when they think they should probably go, as opposed to when they actually need to. So they have to try and have one, rather than just doing one. IYSWIM.