To stab my colleague with a sharpened biro?

[Geordieminx]

He is sat with a box of cereal on his desk... He is eating it, from the box, with his fingers.

Crunch chomp fucking crunch.

I would like to kill him. Dead. I think any reasonable jury would understand?

You don't need to sharpen the biro, just hold the point end next to his neck, then hit the blunt end with a heavy object.

My dyslexic brain read, To stab my colleague with a sharpened brio ?

and I thought Nursery schools are getting rough.

If mine taps her fucking coke can once more I will do the same.

Tap tap tap tap fucking tap

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Mine sniffs. Sniffy sniffy sniff sniff.

Geordie Quote Multi....are you working with me?

I can't imagine eating cereal out if the box, dry, in the privacy of my own kitchen never mind at my fucking desk... He's like sammy the bloody squirrel....

Go and get the milk and throw it in his cereal box. Bastard!

I like dry cereal from the box... but I bet the crackling of the packet would drive people to distrction. it is something that caan only be done alone!

It's no exactly a desk friendly snack though?

(((Imagines him sitting on the bus with his cereal in a Mr Bean style))))

But do you have martyrs for colleagues who won't take their breaks when there IS time then moan about it for the rest of the shift?

Worse still they make everyone else (eg. me) late for their breaks?

Aarghh!

How do you sharpen a biro?

I had one who used to plug a blender under her desk and start making up slim fast shakes when everyone was on the phone.

I like dry cereal out of the box, but not in an office. No reasonable jury could convict - sharpen away

I think that eating crisps at your desk should be banned. Cereal is even worse! YADNBU

Go for it. I fantasised about stabbing a colleague for chewing my biros. It would have splintered in the wound and probably caused more damage.

The biro-chewer shared my desk (and my biros) and had greasy hair and ears. I didn't notice the residue on the phone receiver for ages.

There should be a set of rules in every office.

A blender?

What.the.actual.fuck.

There should be a set of rules in every office.

But only if set by me. The other people I hate are the ones who leave bossy notes.

In addition to talking to herself constantly, enough for justifiable homicide right there, mine leaves empty McD latte cups in the kitchen two feet from the bin. Five in a row every fucking week two feet from the bin.

It's the eggy sandwiches stored on the desk that get me. Every hour they smell increasingly like fart.

Does he have a laptop?

Spill it on the keyboard. Accidentally, of course.

I'd like to splat his blood over his keyboard...

((((PMT and second day back at work after 2 weeks off))))

My colleague hums to herself.so i say
"Ahhh could you stop humming for a while i cant think"
She keeps doing it
"Were you born annoying or did you work on that?'

Please note we like banter.

Ahhh I feel your pain. Stab away, I'm sure a jury would understand!