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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Or is it just unusual where I live.

42 replies

midnightisaplace · 10/07/2013 21:21

Since the good weather began DS (3.8) has been playing out much more than usual. There are a group of about six children who are all within about a year of each other and they have a great time together.

We have always started DS bed time routine at 7 with a bath after which he goes straight to bed. DS hasn't been too keen on coming in from his friends over the last week or so but I have stuck to my guns and he goes to sleep straight away so I know he needs it.

The other six children were still out playing when I came into the house from a walk ten minutes ago at 9pm. Some of the parents have been looking at me lke I'm mad when I call Ds in at 7. Am I being unreasonable in making my DS stand out as different from his friends?

OP posts:

Sparklymommy · 10/07/2013 21:24

Tbh my children aged 4, 5, and 6 all go to bed around between 7 & 8pm. There are kids around us who are still out playing now but how do they cope with a full day of school?

mrsjay · 10/07/2013 21:27

MY children were the ones coming in early they hated it but I did start to relent as they got a little bit older your wee boy is not even 4 I think 7pm is late enough

ThePowerof3 · 10/07/2013 21:28

Mine are 4 and 6 and go to bed at 7 or won't cope at school the next day, it's not long until the holidays and you can relax a bit more. I have a friend with 2 DCs the same age as mine and they were with her in the park at 8.30 last night but they just keep different hours, when my DD moans I just say our rules are ours etc etc

NoComet · 10/07/2013 21:29

Easily, no point in getting my two in in summer, their rooms (especially DD1's) are too hot anyway.

Seriously, bright sunlight reprograms the body clock and and they really don't mind.

Relax, let them play, they will be absolutely fine and it's incredibly useful for holidays and day trips to have DCs who are nice well after 'bed time'.

Justforlaughs · 10/07/2013 21:29

7pm for a 4yo sounds about right. Maybe allow him one later night a week through the holidays IF YOU feel the need, but wouldn't worry about other parents looking at you. They are probably more jealous about "how does she manage to do that" than thinking you are wrong.

McNewPants2013 · 10/07/2013 21:29

I think with only a week or 2 left in school that its mostly fun things going on in school.

Ds has autism so the school warned me about the changes in school so we could plan for them.

I have relaxed about the routine and normally it 7 pm bath time but as the weather is so nice it's been around 8:30 them going to bed.

Myliferocks · 10/07/2013 21:29

My 12 yr old DD goes to bed at 9. Most nights the 4 yr old next door is up until at least 10.
The other night he was out in the back garden making a right racket with his parents at 10.30.

Original poster

midnightisaplace · 10/07/2013 21:30

Thanks! We are lucky in that his bedroom is at the back of the house. The kids tend to play just outside our front and it would be awful if he had to lie in bed listening to them.

OP posts:

mrsjay · 10/07/2013 21:30

I think if he hasnt got nursery over the holidays it really is ok to let the routine slip a bit and let them play out a little later

YoniRanger · 10/07/2013 21:30

The report out yesterday regarding late and irrational bedtimes for kids seemed pretty clear that kids can't cope with these late nights.

tedmundo · 10/07/2013 21:31

Ds2 went to bed at 8.30 and he is nearly 5. But that is only because of the weather. I can't bear to drag them out of the garden when who knows how long this weather will last. And schools / pre school iare winding down so it is not very demanding at the moment.

But, if he seemed tired and came in happily and settled easily then you clearly did the right thing.

tedmundo · 10/07/2013 21:32

Crossed posts with mcnewpants .. We say the same thing.

ThePowerof3 · 10/07/2013 21:33

Children don't play out where I live as we're on a v busy main road, it's nice that your DC can do that, not relevant I know!

Original poster

midnightisaplace · 10/07/2013 21:34

Sounds like a mixed bunch of opinions. I suppose it is one of those things that is each to his own! DS has always been a bad sleeper and I know I am over anxious about keeping him in his routine. I like the suggestion of one night a week were I relax the rules a bit.

OP posts:

ThePowerof3 · 10/07/2013 21:34

Oh and my DCs school seem to be stuffing all the exciting things in these last couple of weeks, school trip anyone?

NoComet · 10/07/2013 21:35

Honestly they will cope with school, school isn't a marathon, it's six relaxed little hours.

DD2 was happy to 8.5 hour at nursery without a nap from 2ish and still run about with her big sister until bed at 8pm.

I don't get these 'tired' small children.

As the wonderful jojo mama be PJs said
"Why do I have to go to bed, it's Mum who's tired"

Original poster

midnightisaplace · 10/07/2013 21:35

The powerof3 I know it is nice. We live in a cul de sac and all the children seem to be the same age so it is lovely that they can actually play out.

OP posts:

Sparklysilversequins · 10/07/2013 21:36

Do people really let their three year olds play out? Can you see him OP?

maja00 · 10/07/2013 21:38

My almost 3 year old is in bed by 8pm, but there are children (aged 6-10) playing out in the street til 9 or even 10pm

McNewPants2013 · 10/07/2013 21:38

Dd aged 4 goes out the front when I am there, other wise she put the secure back garden.

Twattybollocks · 10/07/2013 21:38

Not usual here. Kids here are all inside for 7.30 latest. There are a couple of older kids who I know don't go to bed until 9pm but their mother says 7.30 is late enough for them to be out playing on school nights, and it makes it so much easier when they all go in at the same time.
Summer hols are different tho, they play out till 8.30-9 if its light enough.

Original poster

midnightisaplace · 10/07/2013 21:38

Yes sparklysilversequins people do really let their three year olds play out!

OP posts:

PrincessScrumpy · 10/07/2013 21:39

I do stick to bed time but dtds have only just gone quiet - i'm blaming the heat. Maybe if I let them play longer they'd go straight to sleep.
if they haven't got school it's not a massive issue - each to their own.

noisytoys · 10/07/2013 21:40

We are on a very busy main road too. Even if we lived in a deserted street DCs would still go to bed at their bedtimes they need their sleep or they are very cranky the next day (and a few days after that until they catch up with their sleep)

LaQueen · 10/07/2013 21:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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