To be really annoyed at Jilly Cooper

[bettybigballs]

Re-reading my jilly's from teenage years. I am not entirely enjoying Ridesrs. how had I missed:

1. Tory - totally written off as 'heft' as she is, god forbid 11 stone. She only becomes of value once she's lost loads of weight and poisoned herself because she's heartbroken.
2. Helen. Oh god, Helen I hate you. You give up ALL of your values to get with rupes, then holy mother of schizzle you put up with infidelity and him hating your child, BLAMING YOURSELF, and carrying on the norm for years.
3. Billy. You're a totally twat for going back to janey.

Ps that is Rupert-sorry didn't elaborate.

Noo Karlos, what about Declan? I'd have him. Or his son! sorry DH-

don't forget Cameron Cook also chipped a toe off a giant BRONZE in the metropolitan museum

is that even possible?

I agree it is not feminist but personally I love those books as they are soooo 80s. Dover sole and cashmere dresses as the height of sophistication anyone? I've read the recent ones but not quite the same.

I'd forgotten about Declan. He is not thick. but I don't really go for Celtic types either. God I'm fussy.

And she farted really loudly on a balcony.

Am a bit worried that I remember that particular incident and couldn't remember her name.

I also couldn't stand Perdita. What a brat.

I always wanted to "cook like an angel" like Taggie. But then I realised I couldn't be bothered.

What about Daisy the pushover mother?

Rupert's wooing of Taggie: picking some wild mushrooms and taking them to her house first thing on a Sunday morning so she would cook him a fry up.

Aww, I can't take the piss really. I love them.

Why does everyone always overlook poor tortured Ricky? At least that means he's mine

Would take Luke next though.

And what was it with the hair streaking? That's all it takes to make a woman gorgeous - brushing their teeth and streaking their hair!

I remember being FURIOUS at Maud stealing Taggie and Caitlin's clothes.

WITCH

Or not eating anything but grapefruit Thurlow?

I like Beattie Johnson the reporter, and her fury at being thrown out the house and laddering her tight 'these tights were Dior and fucking new on'

I love a villainess who frets about her tights.

and hands off Luke he's mine!

Right you lot. You've done it. I am going to have to go and read Rivals for the millionth time.

Love a bit of 80s romance.

Peoples views on Rannaldini?

Janey lost a tonne of weight by eating grapefruit and diet pills (probably speed in the 70s) in 3 days.

Why do I remember all this shite?

Heh, yes - three days of only eating grapefruit. And the women always lost 8lbs if they'd been dieting for a fortnight. It takes me months to loose 8lbs, months.

The fact that show jumping and polo was tabloid fodder never fails to make me laugh either.

I quite like Perdita, though. Especially her blue hair. Red was an arse though. Chessie and him deserved each other.

Rannaldini - HATED him.

And Rupert took Taggie to a smart French restaurant (in Painswick!) where he ordered her some scrambled bloody eggs.

Of I went to a posh restaurant in the 80s I would have wanted lobster Thermidor, tournedos Rossini, anything but a couple of bloody eggs.

They also used to take shed loads of Ex Lax and stagger around groaning about 10 pounds lighter.

Rannaldini - he was a short man. Yuk.

It all went a bit dark and S&M with Ranaldini didn't it?

I always had a bit of a thing about the carlisle twins.

And i hated Chessie with much venom.

Oooh, now I want Tornedos Rossini...

I always enjoyed the revelation from Cameron that Rupert was shit in bed.