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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at DS teacher for missing taking time off for this?

190 replies

Seriouslyirritatednechanger · 07/05/2013 19:06

My eldest DS is at a notoriously crappy school as it is, I have tried to move him at various points throughout secondary to no avail. One of his teachers is guardian to a child in his year. As a result we have had restricted parents evening times available meaning my dh could not attend with me because she wanted to see her child's teachers on the same night Hmm, the child frequently behaves badly and on some occasions the teacher has missed the start of DS lesson to be called in by the head when he deals with bad behaviour. The teacher has missed several lessons to take her child to appointments this term already and it is gcse so DS needs the teacher to revise with. This teacher is the only one for the subject in the school so cover teachers can't teach them. The teacher has refused to give DS extra revision sessions even though it is a subject he really struggles with and he did badly in his controlled assessments so needs a miracle to do well overall. No doubt the teacher will be giving her child extra help outside school but because I do not teach the subject or at all this is not an option for my child. I thought teachers were not meant to miss school time as they have short days and all the holidays to have appointments etc so I don't understand why she cannot do this like any other teacher. Others of DS teachers have children and this does not happen half as often. I feel like she is putting a child she looks after over my son and the importance of gcses for the whole class Hmm

OP posts:
StuffezLaYoni · 07/05/2013 19:09

I was going to post a sympathetic reply until the twattish "teachers have short days" comment.

seeker · 07/05/2013 19:11

What's the subject?

(I'm ignoring all the irrelevant stuff and trying to be helpful)

5318008 · 07/05/2013 19:12

Perhaps engage a tutor for your child for the subject?

CreatureRetorts · 07/05/2013 19:12

I can't see your problem with her wanting to see the child's teacher. You had an appointment didn't you? As for short days - do you know what teachers do?
I'm sure there's a reason for refusing extra revision - why won't he put the work in himself?
So YABU on some counts

wimblehorse · 07/05/2013 19:14

Sounds like the school are not dealing well with the situation rather than the teacher.
Teacher has a responsibility to her charge, which may trip her responsibilities to her pupils. However the school should be managing this & providing suitable cover. Extra tuition for your child would be nice, but don't think teachers have to offer this. You could look into private tuition.
You sound pissed off that her charge is benefiting from her being a teacher while your child is losing out because you're not. That'another fault!

wimblehorse · 07/05/2013 19:15

Trip = trump
'another = 's not her

headlesslambrini · 07/05/2013 19:15

It may be that the appointments for the other child are being made by other professionals and therefore out of her control. the head should not be getting her at the start of lessons but to leave it until either lunch time or end of the school day as they would with other parents.

By the way teachers do not have short days nor long holidays. their pay is pro-rota over the number of weeks which they work but spread evenly over the 12 months. they spend alot of time in school or doing work when not being paid.

If you are not happy then make a complaint to the head or head of department.

LaurieFairyCake · 07/05/2013 19:15

The child is in care rather than her child though and the rules and expectations on her and on the school are different. There will be appointments with professionals that have to be in normal working time and the school will be under pressure to accommodate this from the LA.

On a separate note there are ways you can manage his learning with her help. There may just not be enough time to slot in extra revision sessions but your son could go at lunchtime, ask for extra work - you could get a tutor or if funds don't allow then you could get past papers and sit with him yourself.

gregcal · 07/05/2013 19:16

Perhaps the teacher has had meetings with agencies concerning his guardianship.

daftdame · 07/05/2013 19:17

Serious I can see it is bad for you / your son but it does sound like this teacher could be having a really difficult time with her child. If she has to take her child to appointments she cannot exactly miss those appointments, they can be hard enough to get in the first place. Would you want the kind of teacher who was ready to neglect her own child for the sake of yours.

I think it may be helpful to see your child's educational needs as a school issue rather than down to this one teacher. They should be ensuring provision is made for when this teacher is not available.

ouryve · 07/05/2013 19:17

If the child the teacher is responsible for has regular appointments, many clinic appointments are at fixed times, just a few mornings or afternoons a week or month. It sounds like there's probably a correlation between the child's behaviour and those appointments.

So what is the teacher to do? Just ignore the child's difficulties? Not seek the medical or psychological help the child that they are looking after probably needs?

Hulababy · 07/05/2013 19:17

Ignoring all the rubbish about short days blah blah.... Hmm

Some appointments people have no choice over. Doctor, dentist, optician appointments - fair enough to arrange outside of "teaching" hours. However other appointments such as hospital, CAMHS, etc. are organised by the professions running them and not easily moved, if at all.

The teacher will have to put in a request for all such appointments, which then need to be agreed by the line manager, headteacher and/or Governors. You must put down all reasons why it cannot be outisde of teaching hours when doing this.

There will be reasons why it is allowed.

The school should be, however, ensuring that there is someone who can cover for this teacher when she has to be absent, and who should be following plans, etc. What would they do incase of sickness or long term absence after all?

Salmotrutta · 07/05/2013 19:18

What do you mean by "extra" revision sessions? Over and above those she is already putting on you mean?

Does your DS attend the sessions she may already be offering? If he isn't then he should. If he is then, unfortunately, he may just not be very good at that subject.

Teachers can't offer unlimited revision. They do have other classes and duties!

GoblinGranny · 07/05/2013 19:18

The sooner they replace teachers with robots the better IMO.
You know, some appointments linked to SN or TATC involve other specialists and professionals who have busy timetables, and you grab an appointment when you can or wait another 6 months.
However, she should be making appointments to see other teachers who work in the school at other times than parents'evenings.
Your child should be getting the additional support and revision he needs in class, although if he's coming up to GCSEs now, it's a bit late for that to make an impact. I'd be angry with the HOD and the SLT rather than the teacher, they should be providing solutions.

stillenacht · 07/05/2013 19:19

I missed a GCSE lesson today..was at Social services discussing residential care for my severely disabled son :( GCSE exams were last thing on my mind...I must be a crap teacher.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 07/05/2013 19:20

I agree with daftdame.

LunaticFringe · 07/05/2013 19:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GoblinGranny · 07/05/2013 19:22

overexpressed.com/wp-content/gallery/posts/robot-teacher_v1.jpg

This is the answer to a lot of MN issues with teachers. Coming to an establishment near you!

Pozzled · 07/05/2013 19:22

How do you know what she's doing when she has to miss classes? That information is nothing to do with you; it's between the teacher and whoever allows the time off- HT, HoD or whoever else. There are many perfectly valid reasons why teachers may need to leave work early.

However, the lack of consistency in teaching/revision is obviously an issue for you and your DS. Focus on this. Compile the facts- can your DH remember which dates she was absent on, and how the lesson was covered? Then see if the facts add up to a genuine complaint. If so, take it through the proper channels.

A word of warning though- don't include a refusal to give extra revision lessons in a complaint, unless it's something the school offer as standard. Unless it's in her contract, she is under no obligation to do extra sessions.

spanieleyes · 07/05/2013 19:22

clearly no teacher should help their own child with their studies at all as this is totally unfair on other children who don't get the same assistance Confused
Perhaps teachers should just take the children they teach home with them in the evening so it's fair for all.Hmm

FreddieMisaGREATshag · 07/05/2013 19:23

There's a poster on here I've seen who is a teacher and a guardian to an older teen.

marinagasolina · 07/05/2013 19:24

This could be written about me. Excuse me for prioritising my foster daughter's emotional wellbeing over my pupils Hmm

kotinka · 07/05/2013 19:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FreddieMisaGREATshag · 07/05/2013 19:25

Oh. She's here Blush hello marina

CloudsAndTrees · 07/05/2013 19:26

The fact that your DH couldn't arrange his life to meet this teacher is his fault, not hers.

If the teacher has to do these things for the child she cares for then she has to. The school may be dealing with it badly, but that's not the teachers fault.

There is no reason why she should be expected to provide extra revision sessions. Pay a tutor if you want your child to have more teacher time.

Why do you say that she is helping this child with revision as if its a bad thing? It's not.

Teachers do not have short days.