To be annoyed at DS teacher for missing taking time off for this?

[Seriouslyirritatednechanger]

My eldest DS is at a notoriously crappy school as it is, I have tried to move him at various points throughout secondary to no avail. One of his teachers is guardian to a child in his year. As a result we have had restricted parents evening times available meaning my dh could not attend with me because she wanted to see her child's teachers on the same night , the child frequently behaves badly and on some occasions the teacher has missed the start of DS lesson to be called in by the head when he deals with bad behaviour. The teacher has missed several lessons to take her child to appointments this term already and it is gcse so DS needs the teacher to revise with. This teacher is the only one for the subject in the school so cover teachers can't teach them. The teacher has refused to give DS extra revision sessions even though it is a subject he really struggles with and he did badly in his controlled assessments so needs a miracle to do well overall. No doubt the teacher will be giving her child extra help outside school but because I do not teach the subject or at all this is not an option for my child. I thought teachers were not meant to miss school time as they have short days and all the holidays to have appointments etc so I don't understand why she cannot do this like any other teacher. Others of DS teachers have children and this does not happen half as often. I feel like she is putting a child she looks after over my son and the importance of gcses for the whole class

Teachers do not have short days...I have 7 parents evenings a year (making 12/13 hour days), residential trips (on call 24 hours a day), 3 concerts a year (14 hour days), no lunchbreaks...rehearsing for said concerts, parents endlessly emailing so out of hours work, Curriculum meetings, faculty meetings, staff briefings, CPD, working party meetings, full staff meetings, key stage meetings...and I am only part time...other colleagues of mine have D of E weekends, exchanges...they give their lives up entirely. ...Ohand I forgot marking (my school expects me to mark 100 books a week...each lasting around 5 minutes) and preparing....

And that's without all the paperwork bullshit of Area development plans, gifted and talented lists, reports, absence form checking, performance management forms (about 10 pages long), arts award admin, arts mark admin (so the school gets a little picture on bottom of its letters),GCSE and A level coursework admin, enrichment day/activity days admin, trip planning admin, risk assessment etc etc

I think it really depends on the school and the managemen whether the teachers have a short day or not. My DH who is a secondary science teacher and also reponsible for a few extra things, has meetings twice a week, where he HAS to stay late...till about 5.30pm. The other 3 days is more flexible and he does always stay till 5.30pm to finish marking and lesson planning, but if there is a need for him to come home early he can come home early just after school finishes, he just has to work extra another day. And he doesn't bring any work home or do any work at the weekends. He gets very good results for his lesson obvervations too. Teaching just comes easily to him I think.
A friend of mine who is also a secondary science teacher, works till 6pm everyday and brings home work and also works at the weekend...same level as my DH. Her school requires her to do a lot more work than DH's school.

OP, YABU ofcourse.

It's very difficult for foster carers to prioritise their work as, not only are they acting in loco parentis for their foster child(ren), fostering is increasingly seen as a job, and LAs expect FCs to act as a committed professional.

In an unusual situation such as this, the teacher could find herself expected to attend Personal Education Plan or Core Group meetings, which are often held in school- if she refuses to attend these or any other meetings to do with her DFC, serious questions will be raised about her ability to engage with agencies and services, and her ability to care for this child effectively.

The school are legally obliged to do everything they can to support this child, and this includes engaging the FC- unfortunately this presents them with a dilemma, as the FC is a member of staff. The sensible way forward would be to arrange suitable cover, as the teacher's commitments are not about to change any time soon.

Just because your child leaves school at 3.30 doesn't mean the teacher does, coralanne. In many schools you are contracted to do 8 till 5.30, and then take extra work home on top of this. I'm not saying that's unlike other professions, but is not a "short day".

Honestly, I give up.

YABVU - it's up to the school to make sure the teacher's absence.

Absolutely soverylucky..and you say you were marking on your days off...and you are lucky to have days off...unpaid ones I presume being part time? So week in week out marking (ie working) on unpaid days. Schools get a bloody good deal out of their part timers. 20 years experience I do all the things I listed above for 23 grand... Value for money...I bloody think so!

YABVU - it's up to the school to make sure the teacher's absence is covered. Teacher's days are not short!! On top of that the long hours of marking, lesson preparation and admin work... seriously, I work less hours than the teachers I know, and I'm a 12hr shift worker!

You should take it up with the head teacher. I would be fed up too.

plink I did say that the working day doesn't end after the face to face teaching.

I know this because as I stated, I have a family of teachers.

If this teacher was teaching DS2, also in Yr11, I would have been in seeing the HT months ago TBH. Whilst I would be sympathetic to her situation, I want what is best for DS2, and the teacher leaving lessons to see to her DC is not acceptable IMO. I think, ultimately, the management are the ones who have let the students down. They should have addressed the problem, the parents shouldn't have needed to have got involved at all.

As for long days/ short days whatever. Most of us know that teachers work longer than 9-3.30, but so do everyone else, and in most jobs if you have time off for appointments you have to make it up or take leave. I had to have an urgent hospital appointment last Friday morning that I couldn't drive to. DH had to work until 9pm on Thursday so he could take me despite being there at 6am that morning!

Sorry plink. Comment was directed at Slings

"Your child's education is your responsibility in law not the school's/teacher's."

Oh I love this- education not the responsibility of teachers...teach your child yourself etc.

It would be hilarious if it wasn't so fucking depressing.

Anyway it founds like the situation us being poorly managed and op needs to voice her concerns and ask the school what they can do to support her son.

Yes, Coralanne, but you also said this:

"the fact remains, teachers do have short days."

So I'm still not clear how a contracted 8 til 5.30 day is "short" in comparison with other professions.

I understand what you mean but if the appointment is important (which I guess most of them are) then it would be a very poor workplace that wouldn't allow someone to make a 3.30 or 4.pm appointment.

If it was happening a lot then it would understandably be frowned upon .

It really sounds as though the OP has cause for complaint. It sounds as though the school is at fault because their first priority should be the students.

They are also not handling the teacher's dilemma very professionally .

landofsoapandglory - "if you have time off for appointments you have to make it up or take leave." This has never been the case for me in any of the sectors I've worked in the few years. Providing you are not taking the piss and these appointments that need to be booked in working time, appointment time is appointment time - fully paid and doesn't have to be worked back.

Presumably the school is in full possession of the facts unlike the parent posting on here. It's not for us to judge whether the teacher's time off is justified, that is the role of the school. Getting time off from work as a teacher can be incredibly hard and subject to scrutiny unlike any I have had to endure in my own profession.

Another thing... if someone had posted on AIBU staying their employer was being difficult about you taking time off for appointment time for your child, would you think that is a right and fair thing to do?

Just because a person has chosen to become a teacher, does not mean their lives are 'owned' by the parents, that they have no right to a personal and private life, that they have no right to have children and commitments outside of work..

It sounds like the OP is unhappy because the teacher didn't organise her life around her - how dare not provide extra lessons to her DC, how dare she not organise parents evening times around her and her husband's plan, how dare the teacher have an imperfect child that has behavioural issues..

And I am meant to believe it is the TEACHER that has the problem?

Seriously, any behavioural issues need to be brought up with the school, not on MN. Any requests for extra help need to put into the school, if they can't help pay for a tutor for your DC. It's absolutely non of your business what the teacher does outside of school, "No doubt the teacher will be giving her child extra help outside school" just smacks of jealousy. I can tell you the friends I have who are teachers would LOVE to spend hours giving their children extra lessons, but they spend so long planning, admin work, marking they actually have VERY LITTLE time to spend with their DC's. They spend most of their life helping other people's children. A fact that the OP is seemingly oblivious too.

^^

Exactly.

But if it was your child wouldn't you be a bit fed up? GCSE year? Not there for parent's evening? Not even a teensy weensy bit fed up?

I'm NHS and can tell you now that one appt would be fine but after that they would be asking why did/relative couldn't go to the meeting.

ubik - the teacher didn't miss parents evening, they weren't there for the whole night, which the parents were told in advance about.

RE appointment time - exactly right, that's why I think the teacher would have had to have given an extremely compelling reason to miss classes on a regular basis.

A relative of mine had to take 3 x 1 days off in a 6 months period due to her DC becoming ill and needing appointment time, one time her DC needed to go to A&E - and she still got pulled up and given a formal warning!? I can't stress enough that taking time off is a strict business for teachers, especially around GCSE time. It's not in the school's interest to have your child fail their GCSE's is it?

Doctors/dentists/ etc all work in NWH - when teachers are obviously working. This is not a new revelation - the school should have made provisions for someone else to be able to cover the classes adequately in the teacher's absence.

But again we are not in full possession of the facts here, so it's unfair of the parent to make presumptions. If she has concerns, talking to the school about any further support they could provide to her DC would be the next step.

Plinkyplonks, you are very lucky then.

Ubik if it was my DC I would be fed up I admit. I wouldn't have let it get to this point of the year, I would have taken it up with the HT by Feb half term at the latest.

LaQueen - noone is really saying that teachers are doing longer hours than other professions. They are just saying that they do not have short days. Which, ime, they do not.

They definitely don't finish at 3.30pm - which OP seemed to think.

YADNBU.
Only consolations I can offer:

1. EBACC is not that important, seriously, neither is having a GCSE in language (helpful, wonderful if you enjoy languages, but not essential).

2. I pity the poor teacher who has a lot on their plate with this ward, I would be grateful for not having their problems.