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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not let dd go to MacDonald's til she eats better at home?

71 replies

Amykins35 · 30/04/2013 09:47

DD goes dancing tonight which finishes at 6.30. We usually go to MacDonald's afterwards as it's late to cook tea. Usually she eats really well at home/in her packed lunch but in the past few weeks she's barely eating and definitely not healthily. For example, she used to eat porridge and fruit for breakfast, fruit for snack,Ham sandwich/wrap and snack a jacks, pepper, cucumber, yoghurt, 2 portions fruit and cake, after school she'd have a portion of fruit and cheese and crackers then something like spaghetti, meatballs and garlic bread for tea followed by fruit and chocolate mousse for pudding.

Now a typical day is nothing for breakfast, nothing for snack, she eats the snack a jacks and cake out of lunch box then leaves the rest, after school she doesn't want any healthy snacks so doesn't get anything yet still doesn't eat tea. Tonight when we go to the park she'd like an icecream but I'm not happy to buy that or MacDonald's while she's not eating well the rest of the time. I appreciate she won't starve but lack of food/only unhealthy food makes her Moody and also it's annoying to waste so much food when I ask what she'd like in her lunch box and she tells me but then doesn't eat it.

AIBU to say she can't have icecream/MacDonald's until she starts eating better at home/stops wasting food? I've tried reducing portions by the way but she still doesn't eat it.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 30/04/2013 09:49

The park and then dance?!

Give her the bloody McDonald's. It's hardly the end of the world to have a spell of not eating 'healthily'.

dexter73 · 30/04/2013 09:50

How old is she?

mrsjay · 30/04/2013 09:50

what age is she why isn't she eating have you spoken to her I would be worried about the non eating tbh , I think I would take her to Mcdonalds though at least she will eat something, making a huge issue about food will only make her non eating worse,

fishandlilacs · 30/04/2013 09:50

My dd stopped eating her lunches, she would eat the treats but not her sandwich and fruit. Now all she gets is sandwich and fruit.

No i dont think YABU but are you inconveniencing yourself having to now produce a dinner after ballet?

mrsjay · 30/04/2013 09:53

tbh her lunch looks huge written down give her less in her school lunch, it is a huge amount of food imo

NKffffffffabeee2d7X127640abcce · 30/04/2013 09:54

I don't think YANBU, and I don't think she should have McDonalds ever while she is refusing healthy food. Children often go through a phase of only wanting to eat treats, and if parents keep their nerve, it passes. If you go into the "at least if she stuffs a packet of chocolate fingers I know she's getting something int her" mode, it exacerbates the issue. Hold firm - personally I would even cut out the cake from packed lunch until she was eating the healthy things too.

DeepRedBetty · 30/04/2013 09:54

dd's age would be very helpful.

I'd be a bit Hmm about taking a child to McD's in this situation, but pre-teenage and teenage girls can be a nightmare about food, and if she's doing Dance then she may well be even more body conscious than most of them. Dniece has done herself permanent damage with anorexia so I'm very leery of it.

Original poster
Amykins35 · 30/04/2013 09:54

She's 5. She has never been interested before but for past few weeks/months only wants to eat junk. I don't make an issue of the non eating but also dont feel it's right to let her fill herself with junk

OP posts:
SPsYoniTheOneAndOnly · 30/04/2013 09:56

That list of food you gave saying that's what she used to eat is huge! That's more then I'd eat.

I'm taking the toddler for a McDonalds later now as I fancy one due to this thread

DeepRedBetty · 30/04/2013 09:57

Age 5... Put foot down hard but don't bang on about it. If she can't access junk she'll eat properly in the end.

EllenJanesthickerknickers · 30/04/2013 09:58

How old is she? I have to say your daily menu seems enormous. My 13 yo doesn't eat that much. Is she finding the time taken to eat the food impacts on her play time? I'd make sure she eats some breakfast, halve her packed lunch but insist she eats the fruit at least.

Original poster
Amykins35 · 30/04/2013 09:58

I've reduced lunch size and removed cake if she doesn't eat breakfast/lunch the previous day but am conscious not to set up the 'healthy things must be endured to get treats' attitude

OP posts:
EllenJanesthickerknickers · 30/04/2013 09:58

Wow, only 5? That's much too much food, IMO.

EllenJanesthickerknickers · 30/04/2013 10:00

Lunch box for 5 yo, half a sandwich, some fruit or veg and a yogurt or sweet snack.

mrsjay · 30/04/2013 10:01

I don't make an issue of the non eating but also dont feel it's right to let her fill herself with junk

you are right she can't just eat rubbish do you mention the stuff she eats is unhealthy a lot of 5 year olds go through a fussy stage I know my dds did I had to pare back the school lunch box and switch to cereal or toast in the morning for a while, I think food is food and a little in moderation is fine, give her a basic lunch and breakfast for a while even if it is a bit of fruit in the morning just to kick start the eating again and don't nag her nagging does no good, this is of course hindsight and I used to nag at dd1 about her eating.

specialsubject · 30/04/2013 10:01

McD's 'food' isn't a treat, it is solid fat and sugar. Even the salads are devoid of all but minimal nutrition. The amount of waste generated with each 'meal' is also terrifying.

the only unreasonable thing is going there at all.

I'd be worried about the dance thing as there can be terrible pressures to be half-dead skinny, but hoping that five is a little young for that.

mrsjay · 30/04/2013 10:01

and yes that is too much food for a 5 yr old imo I think she is a little overwhelmed with it

Original poster
Amykins35 · 30/04/2013 10:02

She used to ask for that much food, more even, and genuinely enjoy eating healthily. Some days after school she'd have cheese, crackers, fruit, yoghurt, a bit of Choc yet. Still eat 6 meatballs, spaghetti, 3 slices of garlic bread plus fruit and pudding. Yesterday's lunch was just sandwiches, snack a jacks and grapes and all she ate was the snack a jacks

OP posts:
mrsjay · 30/04/2013 10:03

did you ask her why she didn't like her sandwich ?

lollilou · 30/04/2013 10:04

Five? I thought you were going to say 13 as she sounds like my dd with her picky attitude to food.
I wouldn't worry too much, just keep giving the healthy food. Don't start creating issues around food for her.

kelda · 30/04/2013 10:06

'I've reduced lunch size and removed cake if she doesn't eat breakfast/lunch the previous day but am conscious not to set up the 'healthy things must be endured to get treats' attitude'

I think you need to be consistant about the food you give her, and not have it as a reward or punishment for what she has eaten the day before.

There is nothing wrong with McDonalds occasionally but I'm not sure that every week is a good idea. It gets expensive too. I would take a packed lunch.

And yes I know that would mean two packed lunches in a day, but if it's healthy and filling, there is no problem with that.

Also it sounds like she just doesn't need a lot of food at the moment. Some children (ie. MY children) don't seem to eat much at all some days but they are still growing upwards, just not outwards.

SanityClause · 30/04/2013 10:07

She's 5?

Then I would just do what you normally do. Keep having the McD's on the days you usually do. Let her have icecream if you usually would. Keep offering her healthy food, at other times.

Do speak to her about breakfast though. If she has gone off the porridge and fruit, see if there's something she'd prefer. Toast and peanut butter and a glass of smoothie? An egg on/with toast and a glass of fruit juice? A bowl of cereal and milk with banana cut up into it?

She really shouldn't miss breakfast, even if she's not eating much else.

HorryIsUpduffed · 30/04/2013 10:08

Some children do go through startling phases of Eating Like Horse and then Eating Like Mouse. If she is genuinely not hungry then forcing food on her will make an unnecessary issue.

Snack A Jacks have zero nutritional content. If her capacity for food is low, it needs to be nutritionally better. Small sandwich and apple, no snacky thing. Take a further pack-up for tea. We have had success with cold roast/grilled chicken and cherry tomatoes in "not hungry" seasons.

coppertop · 30/04/2013 10:08

It may be that her growth is slowing down a bit and now she doesn't need as much food as before.

I agree too that even with reduced portion sizes she was eating a huge amount of food before for her age. My 7yr-old dd has half a sandwich and two pieces of fruit for her packed lunch, and doesn't always manage to finish it.

At 5yrs old they will often want to get out on to the playground as quickly as possible, even if it means leaving food.

Original poster
Amykins35 · 30/04/2013 10:08

I've offered toast, cereal, pancakes, crumpets etc for breakfast then she'll choose one but not eat it. She isn't body conscious regarding dancing but her father from whom I'm separated is very overweight and calls himself fat to her yet lets her eat very unhealthily. I've spoken to him about it but he only sees her twice a month so he feels that 'a few treats won't hurt'

OP posts: