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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to hate this pub quiz team name?

70 replies

DisorganisednotDysfunctional · 14/04/2013 21:14

I go to a quiz every week with a bunch of other mums. I've been ill a lot the last couple of months and missed about 4 weeks.

Went this week, and when the team at the next table handed us their sheet to mark I noticed their team name.

It was Dead girls don't say no Shock Sad

It literally made my blood run cold. I wanted to write "this name is disgusting" on the sheet, but the team member who does all the writing for my team wouldn't let me.

All my fellow team members thought it best just to ignore it. They were satisfied by the concession that pub landlord never reads the whole name out when they announce the scores.

Of course I wasn't there when they started. But I'm secretly (well, not so secretly now I'm posting here) somewhat shocked that my team mates haven't said anything. They're so restrained and ladylike. Don't want to make waves, perhaps. One of them's a volunteer with a rape support group, but she didn't seem to think it was important. Maybe it's not. Maybe IABU.

I went up in a break and spoke quietly to the landlord. Told him I thought the name wasn't acceptable in a civilised pub. I was surprised and pleased when he immediately agreed and said he should have done something about it himself at the start.

I told him that a girl was raped last month, only a couple of streets away from the pub, and that to me the team name made a mockery of that. He took my hand, apologised, and agreed to do something. He's going to speak to them quietly. They're customers too.

But I was shaking. It really, really upset me. Was IBU?

OP posts:
OHforDUCKScake · 15/04/2013 14:51

Pin her down im next?!

Dead girls dont say no?!

Im not easily shocked, but what the fuck is WRONG with people?!

That sort of crap shouldnt even enter someones head, let alone enter it, entertain it, then think it a good idea to show others!

Horrible.

magimedi · 15/04/2013 15:32

YANBU re the names but I am very uneasy with the rest of your posts.

Solaia · 15/04/2013 17:52

EllaFitzgerald the organiser did say something along the lines of 'you can't have that boys, I'm not reading it out' but he didn't go through them like I would have if I'd had the nerve . He then read out 'The team that shall not be named' or words to that effect for the rest of the evening and I only found out afterwards what their original name was.

I think what got me was just the fact that such a thought could enter someone's head, at a public function, and that five professional men in their thirties would agree it was desirable as a team name. I'm pretty easy going about most things I think, but that really got to me.

SchroSawMargeryDaw · 15/04/2013 18:01

AKiss Not all Cradle of Filth fans are sick in the head btw.

Horrible quiz name, I expected to come on here and see "crouching woman, hidden cucumber" tbh.

phantomnamechanger · 15/04/2013 18:17

YANBU about the pub quiz names, if they are real ones, they are vile and there is no excuse for anyone thinking thats cool, funny or acceptable ever

YABVU though,about going on about this rape victim you know. yes I can imagine it was horrendous experience, but surely YOU are involved as a witness? so you should NOT be posting, however anonymously or vague you say you have been by changing some details - court cases have been thrown out over similar "online" involvement of witnesses and jury members, so learn from that please and get whatever support you need to "cope" with this, because at the mo, to be blunt, you are coming across as an attention seeker "look at me, how awful for me" - and there are worse possibilities of what your motivation may be that 4 yrs on MN have taught me however unthinkably vile, are possible.

If you care about this rape victim as much as you say, then please stop discussing it online - someone can easily stalk you, put together your posts and ID you, people have been outed in many round-about ways. This is not a private discussion, this is the www and anyone can read what you are saying.

TheSecondComing · 15/04/2013 19:46

This reply has been deleted

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Portofino · 15/04/2013 19:49

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BOF · 15/04/2013 19:58

I think it's in reference to a post about a lawyers' function up the thread.

CalamityJ · 15/04/2013 20:00

Well handled not letting it drop and having a discreet word. YANBU. Just because your team mates weren't offended doesn't mean you aren't allowed to be.

DrSeuss · 15/04/2013 20:01

On a different but slightly related note, a friend of a friend recently launched a photography company called Drive by Shootings, which I also found vile. Thoughts?

BeerTricksPotter · 15/04/2013 20:14

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TheSecondComing · 15/04/2013 20:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CinnabarRed · 15/04/2013 20:16

I find Drive By Shootings less problematic - at least there's a passing connection.

TheRealFellatio · 15/04/2013 20:19

Urrgh. How unpleasant. But in my experience most men who are very regular pub quizzers can't get actual live girlfriends. They seem to be up there with the World Of Warcraft Weirdos.

DrSeuss · 15/04/2013 20:25

No, no known research. Pictures are shite too! Not in the same league I know.

CinnabarRed · 15/04/2013 20:31

I suspect that neither team intended to cause upset - shock, sure, but nothing worse. Severely misjudged in both cases, yes. I hope that when/if challenged the members would realise what they'd done and apologise.

EchoBitch · 15/04/2013 20:40

I am in a pub quiz team Fellatio,DP,myself and three other men.

One is living with his GF and their three dds,one is married with one DS and the other is divorced with three DDs.

Their Gf/DWs aren't interested,they're nice but just don't want to do the quiz regularly.

And none of them,including DP are weirdos.

We have a very bland team name. Wink

ChippingInLovesSpring · 15/04/2013 20:52

Not feeding.

Solaia · 16/04/2013 13:06

Yeah sorry if I wasn't clear - I chimed in with my own experience somewhere back on page one before another side to the thread was raised with the OP.

Portofino · 16/04/2013 18:34

Sorry I thought it was a name change fail too. Many apologies Blush

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