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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

about partner booking a holiday?

48 replies

NewStartinSpring · 12/04/2013 15:09

So we are still a fairly newish couple - been together since the end of January. We were talking about taking our first holiday together and where we'd like to go etc.

Then yesterday he surprises me by booking something.

Whilst I think this is a lovely gesture, it would have been nice to have some input into where we're going on our first ever holiday.

Or am I just being unreasonable?

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 12/04/2013 15:11

Depends. Where are you going?

IYoniWantToBeWithYou · 12/04/2013 15:13

Are you happy with his choice?

Lueji · 12/04/2013 15:15

Is it completely out of the blue?

Personally, it would at least be a yellow flag for me.

Lueji · 12/04/2013 15:16

I meant, is it one of the places you said you wanted to go?

HairyGrotter · 12/04/2013 15:19

I'd be flattered. I suppose it's just something he wanted to do for you? Maybe thought it a nice surprise, romantic gesture?

My DP buys gig tickets or stuff on the off chance as a surprise and I love it. Spontaneous is good IMO. Depends on the individuals though

livinginwonderland · 12/04/2013 15:19

well, where are you going? if it's somewhere you've discussed, it's not a huge deal, but i wouldn't want my partner to book a holiday for us without talking it over with me first.

Lj8893 · 12/04/2013 15:21

I'd love it if I was booked a suprise holiday.......especially if it meant they paying too hahaha!

popebenedictsp45 · 12/04/2013 15:23

I wouldn't be very happy but I'm a bit of a control freak when it comes to holidays!

mirai · 12/04/2013 15:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fedupofnamechanging · 12/04/2013 15:37

I wouldn't like it - it seems a little bit like he wanted his own way and has dressed this up as a nice surprise.

If it is somewhere that you wouldn't want to go, I would make him cancel it. It's early days for you two and you ought to let him know from the start what the ground rules are. For me, it is that decisions which affect me, I get to have an equal say in.

Squitten · 12/04/2013 15:41

Depends. Is he also paying for it? Is it somewhere you want to go anyway?

specialsubject · 12/04/2013 15:41

do you know you can get time off?
are you paying for any of it?
do you like where you are going?

bit 19th century, really.

Flobbadobs · 12/04/2013 16:04

You know he could have just thought it was a nice romantic thing to do...

squeakytoy · 12/04/2013 16:06

Is he paying for it too, or do you have to go halves?

currentbuns · 12/04/2013 16:08

If he's paying, that's fine, as long as the destination isn't particularly grim. However, if he's expecting you to pay half for a holiday you had no say in choosing - that's completely unreasonable.

DialsMavis · 12/04/2013 16:27

Agree with others. If he knew that you could get the time off easily and is treating you then I think it's OK.

Original poster
NewStartinSpring · 12/04/2013 16:36

Ok thanks Smile I haven't said I was a little miffed and just acted all excited and happy.

It was just a nagging in the back of my head.

We do already live together, moved in after 4 weeks. So a holiday together should be no problem.

I'm curious though Lueji why would this constitute a yellow flag to you?

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 12/04/2013 16:37

"We do already live together, moved in after 4 weeks. So a holiday together should be no problem"

not really sure what the issue is then to be honest... Confused

StuntGirl · 12/04/2013 16:38

Depends if its somewhere you wanted to go, if he's paying, and if it'll be easy for you to get the time off work. None of which you've answered so it's hard to say!

SoftKittyWarmKitty · 12/04/2013 16:40

Personally I'd want 50% of the input into a shared holiday, so someone booking one without ok-ing the dates, destination etc with me would piss me off, frankly. But horses for courses and all that.

Hassled · 12/04/2013 16:40

Did he book somewhere you actually want to visit - was it one of those places you talked about? If so, there's no problem. If he's booked a trip to Uraguay because he's always wanted to see the sunset there and sod what you want, that is a problem.

Original poster
NewStartinSpring · 12/04/2013 16:41

We hadn't really said exactly where we'd like to go, as in I never said I want to go to Rome or Paris.

But I am happy with where he has chosen.

OP posts:
GogoGobo · 12/04/2013 16:46

So you live together, you see it as a lovely gesture and you are happy with what he has chosen?? Ummm, this is one of the most pointless AIBU I have ever read Confused

currentbuns · 12/04/2013 16:50

Did he ask you to pay half, or not?

MrsBethel · 12/04/2013 16:54

If he's paying the lot, I'd be fine with it.

If he expects you to go halves on it, then he is well out of order.