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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To sing to DS, often

93 replies

SnakeTonic · 31/03/2013 21:55

I'm not a brilliant singer by any means, but I love singing to my DS, who is 5 months. I think maybe as I'm a bit nervy and it calms both of us down. Anyway DP says he thinks it's sweet but MIL keeps saying things like "Christ Snake, another song, where the hell did you learn that one?" Or "don't you ever get tired of singing?" and today, when she popped round for dinner, heard me singing DS to sleep on monitor (umm, slow slow operatic versions of several nursery rhymes Blush said "poor boy he must be sick of your voice by now, do you ever stop for breath?"

Thought that was a bit cruel TBH and felt quite upset. It's a nice bonding thing for us and not sure why she always pisses on my parade. Possibly my singing makes her self conscious? Or jealous of my ahem dulcet tones? Or inadequate that she didn't sing to DP as a child? Or, you know, I'm just really fucking annoying!

Does anyone else sing a lot to the DCs?

Oh god am I like the opera lady from OBEM???

OP posts:
DefiniteMaybe · 31/03/2013 21:57

Tell her to feck off. You sing to your baby if you want to. I bet he loves it.

notnowImreading · 31/03/2013 21:57

My mum always sang to me; it's one of the most special things I remember about my early childhood. Sing away!

Original poster
SnakeTonic · 31/03/2013 21:58
Grin
OP posts:
StrawberriesTasteLikeLipsDo · 31/03/2013 22:00

I had (have?) PND with DS2 (13 weeks) sertraline has helped our bond but in the early days (bad days) i couldnt talk to him... I knew he needed to hear my voice, but I just couldnt. So i sang, and sang, and sang. Until I could talk. And I still
Sing, he loves it. i do of course have the voice of an angel

You MIL can fark right orf! YANBU you are being lovely!

crazydrunkevilhamster · 31/03/2013 22:00

I can't sing for Toffee & always sang to my Ds4 when he was little , Not anymore though cos he says it makes him die Grin
Keep singing & ignore her I bet your Ds loves it

Iaintdunnuffink · 31/03/2013 22:01

There's nothing wrong with singing lots to a baby, I never did because I dislike singing. Next time turn off the monitor.

How much are you singing? Grin if you're breaking into song constantly when you have visitors it could be a tad annoying.

AnameIcouldnotthinkof · 31/03/2013 22:01

Awh I think it is lovely to sing to your DCs.
I sang to 3 of mine. However my singing used to make my youngest cry so it may of done more harm than good
[bublush]

Sommink · 31/03/2013 22:01

My daughter and I sing walking to school. I really don't care what anyone thinks.....

I got one of my younger swimming classes to sing twinkle twinkle little star (while star floating) the other day and joined in at full volume. The parents probably couldn't hear their kids but they will definitely of heard me. It was fun.

TWinklyLittleStar · 31/03/2013 22:01

Tell her to fuck off. You like it, he likes it, she can mind her own bloody business. Sing MORE if she objects, noisily. Silly cow. Singing to your kids is great - they love it when they're little, and it embarasses the crap out of them when they're bigger. Win win.

rhondajean · 31/03/2013 22:02

YANBU. In fact, song and rhyme are how children learn language. You are acting as an early educator to your child and preparing them already for their academic career (this is based in solid research btw) so tell her to sod off,

And seriously, Hth, not in a sarcastic way.

noblegiraffe · 31/03/2013 22:03

She's a bitch. I sing to my baby more than I talk to her, I think. Silly made up songs, or pop songs with her name substituted in and words changed to make it about nappies.

greencolorpack · 31/03/2013 22:04

I think MIL is being a bit of a cow. Sing now to annoy your MiL, see it as a useful side effect. Lol.

I sang to both my nippers and just today was walking in the woods with my dd aged 11 and we sang a hymn in two parts. I used to walk them to school singing part songs. I know that makes us sound unutterably singular but we are.... I always found singing to children a great stress reliever. I sing in the car and they don't tell me to shut up but maybe they will one day.

VinegarDrinker · 31/03/2013 22:04

We sing loads to DS, always have. Not sure I'd sing in front of my MiL but that's my issue!

OxfordBags · 31/03/2013 22:04

Tell her she's beung rude and you want her to stop with this crap. She's obviously a fan of straight talking, seeing as she feels she can say these things to you, so set her straight. You've no doubt hit the nail on the head that she didn't sing to your DP when he was little, or that it makes her feel weird, but that's her daft shit to deal with. Don't let it stop you singing to him; I bet he adores it and it'll be a special 'thing' between the two of you, like it is between me and my DS. I'm even worse - I make up songs about all sorts of crap (literally; we have more than one song about poo Blush ).

Singing to tots is also supposed to be good for language development, as well as merely being fun. Get your DP to tell his mother to fuck off with all this nonsense if you don't want to.

ChippingInIsEggceptional · 31/03/2013 22:05

How bloody rude is she??? Is she always like that? If she is she should count her lucky stars that she's not burried under the patio!!

Sing as much as you can - it'll only be fice minutes before he's saying 'No Mummy NO!' Grin Most babies love being sung to - if he didn't he'd make it damn clear, even at 5 months.

Next time, put the monitor up loud and sing about Fucking Awful G\rannies Outstaying Their Welcome to the tune of a popular nursery rhyme :)

In all seriousness though - what did your DH say to her??

foxache · 31/03/2013 22:05

This brings back memories! I used to sing to ds all the time, made up songs. Ex hated it and his mum too funnily enough, though i'd rarely do it in front of them.

Now if I try to sing to ds, he rugby tackles me.

EeyoresGloomyPlace · 31/03/2013 22:06

Oh how horrible of her, YANBU. Babies love being sung to, its sod all to do with her anyway.

When we were staying with ILs last summer FIL heard me singing dd1 to sleep on the monitor which he had turned on when I went upstairs. When I got down he said "Don't give up your day job Eeyore will you" and laughed so I snapped at him and told him I wasn't actually singing for his benefit and he knew where the off button was if he didn't like it. He looked a bit taken aback but luckily as we usually get on fine I think he just realised he'd overstepped the line a bit. Still pisses me off now though!

Keep singing, I have lovely memories of being sung to as a child and your DS will too.

DontstepontheMomeRaths · 31/03/2013 22:07

YANBU and you need to use the old 'did you mean to sound so rude?' next time.

Set some clear boundaries in place now if I were you, or as he gets bigger she'll make other comments about all sorts of things I reckon, if she's that opinionated about singing.

Original poster
SnakeTonic · 31/03/2013 22:07

"he says it makes him die" too funny!!

I sing quite a lot, l don't know how to quantify, say if we were all on a half hour walk in the country, there might be 3 songs sung loudly...with actions. Out for lunch in a pub, 1-2 but not sung loudly, at my own house for the day...a song or two per hour. I don't interrupt adult conversation to break into Incy Wincy or anything, but I do kind of do it to fill silences (argh I am the OBEM lazy!!)

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 31/03/2013 22:07

What nasty spiteful things to say to you.

I've got a wide repertoire of nursery rhymes lined up to make boring tasks (for me) go quicker, like giving DD2 a bath Grin

Grin at your life being like a west end musical though, that'd make for an interesting dinner engagement.

Maybe that's why your MIL has such a downer on it, because she's feeling the pressure to break into a dance routine to back your song up Grin

sjupes · 31/03/2013 22:07

I sing to ds loaaaads! Your mil is a jealous parade pisser on er [real word!] She probably didn't hold her kids or cuddle them and stuff (i may will be totally off mark here)

Some people do it some don't. It's a great thing to do tho :)

rhondajean · 31/03/2013 22:08

Here

esciencenews.com/articles/2012/09/18/theory.music.underlies.language.acquisition

One of many, also look at the peep parenting programme which is largelydesigned around getting people to engage with their children through song to improve the children's later literacy.

Original poster
SnakeTonic · 31/03/2013 22:11

"about Fucking Awful G\rannies Outstaying Their Welcome to the tune of a popular nursery rhyme" LOVE this, definitely going to try it!

DP thinks his mother's comments are innocent and she's only trying to have a joke with me Hmm

OP posts:
CSIJanner · 31/03/2013 22:13

I've taken both of mine to singing/music classes for babies/toddlers. They love it - playing the instruments and dancing. Sang to the grumpy littlest one tonight which stopped the grizzlies for the entire song.

Tell you what - print off the entry form for X factor or Britians Got Talent and leave it on the side just to wind her up! She's being a caaaahhhhh

AgentZigzag · 31/03/2013 22:16

Oh yeah, making you feel uncomfortable about singing to your little baby is fucking hilarious.

I'd be tempted to do it all the more to make a point.

And maybe start talking in a Leslie Garrat sing song voice?

She should be glad you're helping your baby feel secure and bonding with him.

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