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AIBU?

To sing to DS, often

93 replies

SnakeTonic · 31/03/2013 21:55

I'm not a brilliant singer by any means, but I love singing to my DS, who is 5 months. I think maybe as I'm a bit nervy and it calms both of us down. Anyway DP says he thinks it's sweet but MIL keeps saying things like "Christ Snake, another song, where the hell did you learn that one?" Or "don't you ever get tired of singing?" and today, when she popped round for dinner, heard me singing DS to sleep on monitor (umm, slow slow operatic versions of several nursery rhymes Blush said "poor boy he must be sick of your voice by now, do you ever stop for breath?"

Thought that was a bit cruel TBH and felt quite upset. It's a nice bonding thing for us and not sure why she always pisses on my parade. Possibly my singing makes her self conscious? Or jealous of my ahem dulcet tones? Or inadequate that she didn't sing to DP as a child? Or, you know, I'm just really fucking annoying!

Does anyone else sing a lot to the DCs?

Oh god am I like the opera lady from OBEM???

OP posts:
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KittyAndTheFontanelles · 01/04/2013 00:29

creameggkr Thanks

What a beautiful story. Thank you for telling it

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Softlysoftly · 01/04/2013 03:23

How rude, you keep singing!

I made up a bedtime song accidently for dd1 when she was a baby as she had her night feed, stopped at 2 when she dropped the feed and read a book instead. When dd2 was born dd1 (now 3) told me to sing the "milky song" to her baby sister, didn't realise she had remembered and memorised it but she sang along until it came to the part "mummy and baba love you very much" to which she added her own name, so "mummy, baba and softlydd love u very much"

Makes me melt every time! So keep singing they remember, I hope in years to come that tune just makes them feel warm and safe :)

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TheSkiingGardener · 01/04/2013 03:39

Never stop singing! I think DS spent the first year of his life thinking he'd been born into a musical. He still loves songs and asks for me to sing him a song before bed. It kept me same when he was little and made life go a little easier. I've started singing to DS2 now, but you've reminded me to do more!

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ZebraOwl · 01/04/2013 05:32

I think you need a Gilbert & Sullivan style song to belt at your MiL every time she starts being snarky about your singing. Maybe you could adapt to make it about her (& whoever else is grating on you) [bugrin]

Both my parents sang to me when I was wee & I actually find it easier to conjure up my mother's singing voice (she died when I was ten & a half) than to remember her speaking voice.

My father once ended up singing Christmas Carols to try to settle me when he'd run out of Other Things To Sing. As this was in the departure lounge of an Italian airport, in the summer, he got some funny looks, but I don't think he cared, especially once I finally settled as he sang "Away In A Manger".

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TheNebulousBoojum · 01/04/2013 05:43

Do you know the Scots classic 'Oh You Cannae Shove Your Granny Off a Bus' ?



Keep singing, I did and mine still remember. OH is a musician, it's the sound of our house rather than sniping and negativity and anger.
Which would you rather your son was surrounded by as he grows up?
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can6342 · 01/04/2013 06:40

Hee hee, I sing to my 4mo DS a lot, he loves it. Sometimes I get a tune stuck in my head and make up my own words.
My hubby overheard me singing as I went to change DS's nappy -to the tune of Tom Jones Sexbomb.
"Stink bomb, stink bomb, you're my stink bomb. Baby you can turn...(pause while I thought of something).. my stomach".

I didn't realise hubby was there, I thought he'd gone out, but he found it funny.
Keep singing to your little one Smile

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thezebrawearspurple · 01/04/2013 06:42

yanbu I have lovely memories of my Granny always singing when I was young.

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BrianButterfield · 01/04/2013 06:56

It's very natural to sing to babies and it helps them learn the cadences and tones of spoken language.

DS is 19mo now, and we've been having hot cross buns for breakfast and singing the song. He sings along except he can't say 'cross' well so he plods around the house solemnly singing "HOT buns, HOT buns" - it's very cute.

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YoothaJoist · 01/04/2013 06:59

Please don't let this joyless, horrible woman put you off, OP.

Some of my happiest memories are of long car drives with my mum, singing songs together at the top of our lungs, doing all the harmonies and all the twiddly bits. Tears of laughter and joy. My relationship with my mum was not at all easy, but by Christ we could sing!

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maddening · 01/04/2013 07:21

Get it in while you can - ds now screams at me and shouts noooooooooo when I try ans sing to him.

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LivingInAPinkBauble · 01/04/2013 08:23

YANBU to sing lots. I remember my dad singing to me at bedtimes etc and I loved it!

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HappySeven · 01/04/2013 09:33

I seem to be going against the grain here but you do seem to be singing a lot. When it's just your family (you, DH and DS) then sing as much as you like but in company two songs an hour may grate on others. Maybe they like the silences or feel they can't speak until you've finished singing?

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TheNebulousBoojum · 01/04/2013 09:35

Or you could turn off the monitor, so that the grumpy and unappreciative are allowed to remain so?
Or buy her some lovely, fluffy earmuffs?

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ZZZenEggain · 01/04/2013 09:43

have never experienced anyone singing to a dc at a pub lunch or during a walk in the country. I sang to dd but not with an audience of adults around. I can see how it could get on someone else's nerves

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Cooroo · 01/04/2013 09:49

Everyone's said it already but - don't stop! I have a lovely, funny, musical (and just occasionally stroppy) DD16 who I sang to all the time. I attribute the relatively easy teen years mostly to the singing in early years.

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pictish · 01/04/2013 09:51

I think I kind of agree with Happyseven there.

I sang to mine when they were little...of course I did. I can even hold a tune!

Did I sing while we had visitors? No.

Sounds like you do a lot of singing, and in the spirit of being honest, I would find it irritating.

3 action songs in a half hour walk? I might want to walk in the other direction. Sorry.

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CSIJanner · 01/04/2013 09:52

I am now compiling a list of irritating songs that children love just to entertain MIL with for you [bugrin]

Little boxes on a hillside
10 little monkeys jumping on a bed
Wind the bobbin (because you can sing it endlessly whilst DC clap & point)
five little speckled frogs
Old MacDonald
The animals went in two by two (I use stuffed toys for this)
One man went to mow
Do your ears hang low
Here we go loopy loo

Guarenteed for bubba to love and to grate MIL

Mwah haa haa har!

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pictish · 01/04/2013 09:53

I have never seen anyone sing at a pub lunch either. I mean there's nothing wrong with it...it wouldn't bother me at all....but if the person singing did so much of it they couldn't even have lunch without a song, I'd be curling my toes.

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CSIJanner · 01/04/2013 09:53

AFWIW - I sing to mine all the time. Horses for courses. Some people hate it but my DC love it

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HappySeven · 01/04/2013 09:56

Phew, Pictish! Smile

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pictish · 01/04/2013 09:57

3 action songs in a half hour walk, for a 5 month old baby, is overkill if you're in the company of anyone other than your dh. I want to be all cosy and cute and say how nice it is, but the fact is...I would be chewing my knuckles.

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LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 01/04/2013 10:55

YANBU. You are doing something lovely.

I sang my DD1 to sleep until she was about 4. It was a the same 10 lullabies each night. Traditional, ie 'You are my sunshine'. By the time I got to the last which was 'I see the moon' she was asleep.

I don't have an amazing voice, though I can hold a tune.

I tried it with DD2 but it didn't work with her. In fact she was an early talker and around 18 months told me to 'stop noise!'

By the time DS came along I was a bit sung out. But he is 21 months and is breastfed to sleep instead. Those nighttime moments are precious to both mother and baby/child. What you are doing is lovely.

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munchkinmaster · 01/04/2013 11:02

DH is a famously bad singer. Tunes are totally unrecognisable when mangled by him. He sings all these terrible old folksongs to baby (which are all about death etc). She loves them. The other day I went out when DH was having a shower with baby in her little chair bring sung to (happens every day). We have no fan in the bathroom so you have to open the window a bit and I realised you could hear DH belting it out at the other end of our street!

(I do sometimes tell him the geneva convention has been on the phone due to his continued torture of an infant).

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munchkinmaster · 01/04/2013 11:08

Oh and singing totally calms my baby down. I'd love to get through a walk with only 3 songs. When baby was smaller I'd always be walking along singing to her like a loon to stop tears. I remember being in the changing cubicle at the swimming and baby went off on one and DH and I started belting out one man went to mow a meadow.

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Hissy · 01/04/2013 11:19

My hulking great 7 year old gets sung to all the time. I make up silly songs all the time. He loves it. "But, please Mummy, not in front of the people!"

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