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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To send her home?

50 replies

Freddiemisagreatshag · 30/03/2013 12:50

There was a sleepover here last night.

Other friend of my two guilt tripped them into asking me to have them tonight for a sleepover. I said yes. But that child could not come until after tea (because I'm knackered, want to tidy up and just have had enough thank you and wanted an afternoon of a break)

Said child just turned up with bag to stay. All afternoon and sleep over.

I just sent child home and said no, not at this time. You were told after tea. Come back later.

My two know have faces on and I just about burst in tears and said nobody at all tonight.

Which I know isn't fair. But was I BU to send the child home?

OP posts:
Original poster
Freddiemisagreatshag · 30/03/2013 12:51

Now. Not know.

OP posts:
LadyMaryQuiteContrary · 30/03/2013 12:55

Why are you agreeing to sleepovers when you're exhausted? Tell the parent 'no'. You need to stand up for yourself as your 'friend' is walking all over you.

AgentZigzag · 30/03/2013 12:55

It's not the DCs fault she was sent over too early, but YWNBU to send her back.

It's understandable you're at breaking point having just had one load to stay over and at the prospect of yet another one!

But you should have said no from the off - which you must know anyway - I'm sure the post-traumatic stress of the sleepover could be blamed for you not thinking right Grin

stressyBessy22 · 30/03/2013 12:55

I don't know.Did you not speak to the parents to arrange the sleepover? or did your DC communicate the wrong time to friend ?

Original poster
Freddiemisagreatshag · 30/03/2013 12:56

They're teens, and she sleeps over fairly often. I just checked DDs phone to make sure she said after tea.

OP posts:
LadyMaryQuiteContrary · 30/03/2013 12:57

It doesn't matter how old she is, tell her mum it's not convenient.

CaptainSweatPants · 30/03/2013 12:57

why didn't you just send the lot of them out & go to bed for a nap?

gordyslovesheep · 30/03/2013 12:57

yabu to let 2 kids guilt trip you into something you don't want to do - just tell them NO

Original poster
Freddiemisagreatshag · 30/03/2013 12:58

I should have said no. But I was guilt tripped by a bunch of teens.

I'm shattered. My house looks like a bomb site (they are tidying up just v v slooooooowly)

I want to light my fire and lie in front of it. And I can't if the house is full of teens who want the Xbox on (its in the room with the fire)

Child only lives round the corner.

OP posts:
CaptainSweatPants · 30/03/2013 12:59

send your 2 round to hers

give them money for the cinmea

light fire and relax

sorted

LadyMaryQuiteContrary · 30/03/2013 12:59

Just tell them NO, not tonight. You're still the boss, it doesn't matter how old they are.

Acandlelitshadow · 30/03/2013 13:00

YANBU but I think you need to man up a bit about saying 'no' or you may be in danger of being regarded as a doormat.

And I'd have mine had put their faces on in that situation, I'd have stuck to 'nobody tonight' and given them something worthwhile to do it for.

Original poster
Freddiemisagreatshag · 30/03/2013 13:01

Can't. Her parents don't do sleepovers. Or kids in after tea. They have younger ones who are very light sleepers so come 7pm there's no one allowed in their house.

Cinema is in the next town. I'd have to take them and bring them back.

OP posts:
thebody · 30/03/2013 13:02

My teen dds are out at the park with a huge bunch of mates. Send them outside. Xbox later.

Sleepovers are a pain so never do back to back ones.

Light your fire and chill oh and refuse to drive fee rest of the day so have a glass.

Original poster
Freddiemisagreatshag · 30/03/2013 13:02

And yes. Am feeling like a doormat, and I'm not usually.

They must have caught me on an off day Grin it'll be fine - I don't mind the sleepover, I do mind the turning up before we have even had lunch or cleared up from the last one

OP posts:
Acandlelitshadow · 30/03/2013 13:02

If Not I'd have Hmm

Original poster
Freddiemisagreatshag · 30/03/2013 13:03

I am NEVER EVER doing back to back ones EVER EVER again

OP posts:
CaptainSweatPants · 30/03/2013 13:03

can't they get the bus? And I mean they go round now, not after seven!

thebody · 30/03/2013 13:05

Just read your last post. It's not tea time yet or 7 pm so send them all round to your friends and then let them come back at tea time by which time house will be sorted and you be chilled.

Seriously op man up here or else your house will be the dumping ground and you will be the one doing all the lifts to parties and concerts in the near future.

Original poster
Freddiemisagreatshag · 30/03/2013 13:05

Can't get a bus (the cinema is on a retail park miles from town and its Easter Saturday. There will be no buses, there hardly are anyway)

They won't be allowed in to hers and they will end up back here. Hence me saying "X can't come until after tea. I want an afternoon of peace"

OP posts:
thebody · 30/03/2013 13:06

I have been had this way as well. It's cos you are nice.

Viviennemary · 30/03/2013 13:06

Sleepovers are a total pain most of the time to be endured at birthdays and maybe in the longer holidays. If you are tired you shouldn't have to put up with a gang of noisy teens all demanding stuff. Her parents don''t do sleepovers. [buangry] Well don't you do sleepovers for people whose parents don't do sleepovers. Some folk!

thebody · 30/03/2013 13:07

Why won't they be allowed in at hers? Cheeky cow. Ring her up and say can you have them for a few hours as I am busy.

LadyMaryQuiteContrary · 30/03/2013 13:07

Lounge is out of bounds then. You deserve some 'me' time.

Booyhoo · 30/03/2013 13:08

they're teens, they can sit on a wall for hours. Grin tell them to be absent til tea time. teens sleepovers shouldn't create more work/stress for you. they are old enough to sort themselves for tea and entertainment and they can move teh xbox to another room if they really want to.

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