To send her home?

[Freddiemisagreatshag]

There was a sleepover here last night.

Other friend of my two guilt tripped them into asking me to have them tonight for a sleepover. I said yes. But that child could not come until after tea (because I'm knackered, want to tidy up and just have had enough thank you and wanted an afternoon of a break)

Said child just turned up with bag to stay. All afternoon and sleep over.

I just sent child home and said no, not at this time. You were told after tea. Come back later.

My two know have faces on and I just about burst in tears and said nobody at all tonight.

Which I know isn't fair. But was I BU to send the child home?

Agree Vivienne.. Don't do sleepovers for kids whose parents don't do sleepovers. Bloody cheek.

Oh I know. But it's understandable. They have a big gap and their other children need to be in the bath for 6.30. It's easier for me because mine are all older.

I hate the assumption that sleepover means arrive at midday.

And I'm never doing a back to back ever again they didn't go to sleep until about 2 and I never sleep well with other kids in the house.

And at the end of the day it's totally my own fault.

YANBU. But I can understand your teens being pissed off with the yo-yo permission and revoking.

You're knackered. I think you need to have a heart to heart with your teens, apologise for messing them about, explain you're knackered, and create a new rule, no more than one sleep-over every two weeks. Also say how pissed you are as you felt railroaded into something you weren't happy with and you specifically said after tea, you need an apology too.

I didn't revoke permission. I said I felt like it but I didn't say it.

I told the child to come back later - she was to.d after tea, and after tea is not midday. How is that yo-yo permission and revoking?

I'd have given them all tasks, including the guest - she want to stay, she pitches in.

Is there no telly upstairs?

I'd be buggered if I would be chased out of my living room for an xbox

No TV in bedrooms. Tv in kitchen but its too small for the Xbox connect thing.

And I wanted to sit in my living room with the fire lit .

Not the tv is too s all. The space is too small.

I had my older 2 as teens while younger 2 were toddlers. I did sleepovers.

No difference at all they are just lazy rude gits.

Again send them outside to hang out.

Some people don't like sleep overs - I have no qualms about palming my children off but I refuse to host them until they are much older. All that 10/11/12/13yo arsing about does my head in. Older teens, fine, they know how to wash up, shut up and concentrate on the business of killing zombies, quietly .

Mind you I have never been so glad, when the xbox got the ring of death thing and died.

I do tend to have a lot of teens sleeping over at times, simply because this is seen as a safe house and I'm a soft touch every time one of DS1s mates gets slung out.

I know I'm a soft touch. And today I am too tired. Self inflicted all my own fault. And yes her parents are taking the piss at bit. Which is why I felt so railroaded into having her in the first place.

schmaltzing. i dont think that's fair. there is no rule. but people know their own children and while my ds1 would have slept through a bomb ds2 is such a light sleeper that he hears if i open the front door and comes straight down. there is no way i could have teens sleeping over (because try as they might, they cant be quiet) because he would be up all night and i would end up spoiling the teens' fun by telling them to go to sleep at 8pm or something. i dont think it is taking advantage at all. for starters, teh arrangement was made between the teens. i would doubt the parents actually asked the other teen to see if she could stay over at freddies.

My teens are not allowed any gaming in the living room - they have a small screen for the xbox and have to like it or lump it!!!

I dont mind having a houseful of teens but they have a room where they can be out of my way ;)

Boo - I know they have to be more rigid than I was with bath and bed. But each to their own.

I do think sending her round at noon was a bit early. And teens make their own plans with minimal parental input. It's not like they're 7 and I'm phoning the other mum.

did they send her or did she just decide to come herself? teens is a tricky age when it comes to communication. i dont know how old your teens are but when i was 13/14/15 my mum would have expected to speak with other parents, met them, known definite plans and times etc but my best friend at the same age was allowed a bit more control/freedom and made quite alot of her own plans and would often just tell her mum she was coming to mine rather than asking if it was ok. her mum wouldn't think to ask "did booyhoo's mum agree to this"

She will have just got herself ready I expect.

I would have, if it had been me, texted her mum to make sure of times amd to make sure her mum was ok with it (would never happen though because her parents dont have sleepovers but in principle). But her parents don't do that. It's just a difference in approach.

And ultimately I should have said no. Not two sleepovers back to back. But I am far far too soft.

YANBU Freddie
The teens chanced an early start and it didn't happen. Rest now until 5.47pm exactly when the teen returns.

YANBU, but NO is a complete sentence.

Pancake - I think you have it spot on.

yep it is just different approaches and that's fine if both sets of parents are happy with it but you aren't so you need to speak up and say no when it doesn't suit. dont beat yourself up over today. you sound exhausted tbh. in your shoes i would just level with your own teens, tell them you're shattered and that you're happy for them to have friends over but it's still your house and you need to have time and space to chill so you aren't being mean when you say no you're just making sure that when their friends do stay, everybody is in the right mood for it.

See my toddlers slept through earthquakes simply because they had noisy teens around from day 1.

Holly like your post re zombie killing.

Yanbu.

And hide in your bedroom for the night.

my friend's younger siblings were the same thebody. and tbf my ds1 was to some extent as i was young when i had him and always had loads of friends in. he went to bed at 7 no matter who was in and was used to sleeping through noise but ds2 wasn't so he's a light sleeper.

Well dd1 is now in her room. Having been sent there for being crabbit and grumpy and biting the head off anyone who dared to breathe.

Never. Ever. Ever. Again.

If I ever suggest another sleepover please can you all stop me.