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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let DD (12) dye her hair?

67 replies

2kidsintow · 09/03/2013 21:31

I'm having mixed feelings, personally.
Lots of her friends the same age have already done it. She's bought a non-permanent kit from asda that says it washes out after a few weeks. She's chosen a shade that will work well with her hair (naturally a lovely mid-dark brown - she's chosed a reddish shade that isn't too brash).

Part of me is happy to let her do it. I'm sure I was using non permanent dyes at her age or a year or so older.

Part of me doesn't want to. The packs now say that it 'isn't intended for use on the under 16s'.

OP posts:
MN044 · 09/03/2013 21:35

Entirely unsuitable for school IMO

Lucyellensmum95 · 09/03/2013 21:35

Don't let her use it - there is a reason it is not recommened for under 16s, its to do with allergic reactions. The darker colours tend to have more of a tendancy to cause reactions too. So if you do let her do it, please please please do a skin test first. No aesthetic objection, just a health thing

Floralnomad · 09/03/2013 21:35

My 13 year old has red streaks and dip dyed ends ,I never read the age limit on the box. Doesn't seem to have done any harm and its been done a few times.

Floralnomad · 09/03/2013 21:36

Should add that my daughter doesn't go to school .

SkinnybitchWannabe · 09/03/2013 21:37

Like Lucy said do the test first...if you let her that is

LoganMummy · 09/03/2013 21:39

I started colouring my hair at 12. I started off red, green, purple etc. My mum got so fed up so asked me to pick a colour and she would pay for it to be done professionally. I was blonde for 14 years.

As long as you do a patch test I don't see the problem.

SauvignonBlanche · 09/03/2013 21:40

I've just let DD (also aged 12) do hers with a non-permanent dye.
It's a rite of passage, I don't particularly like the result but she loves it. Smile

AgentZigzag · 09/03/2013 21:40

I've had the same question from my 12 YO DD, and couldn't answer for laughing at her cheek of asking Grin

After I'd regained my composure I told her I couldn't give a monkeys bollocks (I'm paraphrasing) what other parents decide for their DC.

AViewfromtheFridge · 09/03/2013 21:41

I would check the school policy first - no point in doin it if she'll have to dye it straight back. It'll probably be on the website.

AViewfromtheFridge · 09/03/2013 21:41

doing*

larks35 · 09/03/2013 21:42

At 12 I would hesitate to allow it, just because I think it's too young to start wanting to change the way you look. Saying that, so is 13, 14, 15 etc... My tutor group are now in Yr10 and it was when they were in Yr 8 that the girls started with the (often awful) hair dye experiments. I did wonder at the time why their parents allowed it (sorry, I know, judgey, but we're all human). I've got it all to come mine are just 4 and not quite 1 so who knows what I'll allow by the time they're 12.

wannabedomesticgoddess · 09/03/2013 21:44

Cant get worked up over this really. YANBU.

But definitely do a skin test.

GloriaPritchett · 09/03/2013 21:48

I wouldn't be overly delighted about it but she could do a whole lot worse.

TheCatIsUpTheDuff · 09/03/2013 21:50

Sounds fine to me. I started at the same age, and so did my sister. Eventually DSis accepted that she was too dark for it to do any good and has been natural ever since. I just waited until I'd left home, bleached it and dyed it pretty colours. Natural brown and grey now.

RaspberryRuffle · 09/03/2013 21:51

If you allow her make sure she does the patch test, supervise this, she is only 12, last thing you/she want is a bad reaction.
I think 12 is a teeny bit young but they do everything younger now...
Also discuss with her that you will allow these non-permanents in plausible colours but not blue/green or whatever your limits are.
My mum's main bugbears were that we ruined towels (whoops) so we had some hideous old beach towels for hair dye use, and school shirts because it was always a group activity with 4 teenagers all squeezed in to the bathroom. Got it all out of my system though, haven't dyed my hair for years now.

webwiz · 09/03/2013 22:02

12 sounds incredibly young to be starting with hair dye, I started at 13/14 but with those useless shaders and toners that don't do anything. My DDs waited till 16 and have had all sorts of colours . I'd just say no at 12.

Startail · 09/03/2013 22:06

Easter holidays, if it looks to unnaturally red school will probably moan.

Must remind DD2, who likes painting her nails, that she can in the holidays. Primary didn't care, high school do.

MusicalEndorphins · 09/03/2013 22:12

Perhaps you'd rather she bought some extensions than dye it?

Leeds2 · 09/03/2013 22:12

Would have it done professionally, at a hairdresser's, rather than a dip dye.

Only say that coz my hairdresser has commented on the money she has made from parents whose children have used a dip dye, are horrified by the results, and then spend a fortune in having the mistakes rectified professionally.

My 15 year old is having highlights at said hairdressers over the Easter break!

jchocchip · 09/03/2013 22:13

Er patch test, start of hols it will have faded before go back to school. My dds have ruined a number of good towels and bathmats so clear the area before you start Grin I have much less of an issue with green/ blue hair than with tattoos and piercings - after all dyed hair grows out and dd1 got bored fairly soon. Though she is going to do it again when home for Easter...

missingwelliesinsd · 09/03/2013 22:15

Being blessed with blond hair as a child that turned into a unbelievably boring shade of mousy brown by the time I was ten, I started using non-permanent hair color by the time I was 14. I was the definition of a a pasty faced, slightly overweight teenager with mousy hair. Dying my hair made me feel prettier (not sure if it really made me look better), but it made me feel better. I don't think it's a big deal. Pick your battles, as they say.

Ironically though, something to consider is to think about a shade that you genuinely think would flatter your DD best. I always bought non-permanent darkish dyes because I was a poor teenager and couldn't afford to go blond. In my twenties, I finally tried blond and realised how much better it suited me. Kind of wished I had tried going lighter back in my teens.

SashaSashays · 09/03/2013 22:15

Skin test is really important.

If thats fine, then I would go ahead, it sounds like she's gone for natural shade so she's probably just wanting to try it all rather than so something particularly rebellious. As long as the skin test works out ok, its only hair. As I've regularly told the DC, if it looks shit I'll happily hack it off for them.

VisualiseAHorse · 09/03/2013 22:16

I started dying my hair about 12 years old, I think it's ok as long as you stick to 'natural' colours.

WorraLiberty · 09/03/2013 22:21

I used to use the wash-out toners at that age.

I did it so gradually, my Mum didn't even notice Grin

Then by the time I was about 15 I was dying my hair permanently red/auburn shades.

Still do now actually...though it's more a case of having to than wanting to Blush

ravenAK · 09/03/2013 22:24

Worse case scenario, it'll have to be toned down with a more natural colour if school complain.

I'd let her do it at the start of Easter hols, but check the school's policy first - so that if it turns out unexpectedly erm, vibrant, & doesn't fade quickly enough, you are forewarned & can take action.

Other than school potentially chuntering, I don't see it as harmful. It's only hair. It grows out even if you permanently dye it shocking pink with leopard patches, shave the sides off & dread one side.

(Not that that was one of my more aesthestically pleasing looks, mind you - I looked like a tortoiseshell cat that had had a dreadful accident Grin).