to think it's cheeky when my friend eats my leftovers?

[HarlemHallow]

Now I probably am being unreasonable, but I have noticed on a few occasions my friend will not order food and then will eat our leftovers.

Such as I ordered a dessert, too big and I couldn't eat it all. She had refused to order a dessert and then when I finished she took a spoon and started eating it herself.

Another time me and a friend had a sharing platter and again didn't finish it and she started helping herself to it.

I guess the food is just going to waste so she might as well eat it but I do think it's quite cheeky still.

Is she really skint?

Yes it's rude, I don't like anyone eating from my plate or vice versa bit I guess if the food was going in the bin...

Is she skint and maybe can't afford a desert/whatever?

YANBU. Better in her belly than in the bin.

I'd be concerned that she didn't have any money since she's obviously hungry.

It wouldn't bother me that much, better than wasting it. Is she skint?

No wonder the landfills are so full.

I don't think it's a money issue as she always orders what she wants for a main course.

I guess if you were that skint you would just say no to going out for lunch or dinner anyway.

Better than wasting it. It's not like she orders nothing and is just waiting to pounce and eat yours for free, is it? I would definitely eat a pudding going begging! explains the size of my arse

So you go out for a meal, she doesn't order, watches you eat then finishes off what you can't?

Oh dear, does she have money problems that you know of?

Is she skint or just a tight-arse?
One of my friends used to do this sort of thing, yet thought nothing of spending hundreds on hair extensions, or face cream or whatever the latest thing was.
She felt it was our duty to pay for her dinner/drinks. She had plenty of cash, she only liked spending it on herself. When the bill came, she'd go missing on a big night out...countless times people didn't notice the pattern and would pay for her and she never reimbursed them...She grew out of it, but she's still tight...

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Not sure I see the problem. She might not want a whole pudding but happy to help clear up left overs. I know several people like this and if out for coffee and cake would offer cake I couldn't eat!

It's a bit like when a friend says 'I won't buy chips, I'll have some of yours' A bit cheeky, but as you're buying it anyway and it's there, she might as well. She's obviously noticed a pattern!

It'll be a test of your softness when you do actually want to finish a pudding but know she'll go without if you do.

it wouldnt bother me, but i would have offered it to her anyway

Maybe she hates the sight of food being wasted?
It's the sort of thing my family do.

Why not. I would eat up something that was being wasted! I don't often want a whole dessert, but a bit left over or someone else's is just right. If there is none left, that's fine too. Why would she pay for a whole pudding and then waste half of 2?

As long as she waits til you are definitely finished then what's the harm?

Do you find you often order stuff you can't finish? Maybe if so you're over-ordering - I have often done this myself and it has taken years of practice to think 'actually, I won't have a starter because I won't finish my main then'.

Aside from that, it would be polite to at least say 'if you don't want any more, do you mind if I have it, it looks really nice!' rather than just digging in. How does she know you aren't having a 'rest' and will come back to it later?

What is her financial situation like? Do you think she genuinely likes your company, and the possibility of filling up on leftovers is a bonus to coming out with you, or does it seem more like a cynical attempt to get fed for free? Does she ever / has she ever ordered a dish for herself?

I think it's better than it going to waste. You aren't going to eat it anyway, what's the issue?

Or exactly like ToTeach says, she only wants a couple of bites. Lots of my friends are on 'diets' like this

Have just seen you say that she orders what she wants for main and money doesn't seem to be a problem. In that case I would either:

• not order a pudding next time yourself, and see what she does

• say 'Do you want to share a pudding and we'll split it on the bill between us?' Then if she says no, she can't really just start eating it - or if she does, you can say 'Oh, I didn't think you wanted to share - have you changed your mind'?

foxache Ah, the 'just a taste' diet! I know someone who does this frequently. It would be less annoying if she didn't make such a song and dance of how she couldn't possibly eat a pudding if she's asked by a waiter.

I know this is ridiculous but I kind of hate it when people pick food off my plate - even when I'm completely finished. Believe me I know how stupid that is.

I think that if I didn't want it I wouldn't care who ate it or what happened to it but would never pick at anyone's leftovers myself - it seems a bit of an odd thing to do, particularly if you feel she's waiting for them so she doesn't have to buy a pudding herself.

OTOH, it could be that she does hate waste. Some people are like this.

Has she got an eating disorder maybe? This is the kind of thing people who have issues with food do! I'm sure she doesn't mean to be rude, might be just really wanting a desert but denying herself, if it's someone elses leftovers it may not make her feel as guily.