Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is weird? Or am I just self obsessed?

36 replies

ceramicunicorn · 07/03/2013 19:28

I was with my XP for 7 years, from the age of 15-22. We split up after he cheated on me with his now wife. I'm now happily married with a ds and another on the way and have no contact with him. We have mutual friends from school and uni and one of my friends told me his wife recently gave birth to their first child. All well and good and I'm happy for them.

Here's the weird bit though. They've given their daughter the same name as me. My name is in the top twenty girls names but was quite quirky back in the day. Am I just being a bit self obsessed thinking this is weird? Or should I feel a bit upset that a 7 year relationship with someobe with this bame didn't even cross their mind when naming their dd?

OP posts:
kinkyfuckery · 07/03/2013 19:32

Probably a little weird, but they probably have their reasons for picking their daughter's name - that may be nothing to do with you!

DebbieLovesDallas · 07/03/2013 19:32

Nah, I think it is weird. I've always loved a certain boy's name from back when I was child. The boy I lost my virginity to also had this name. I was gutted when I was pregnant for the first time as I knew I couldn't use it if we had a boy. It just would have been too weird. Wasn't an issue in the end as I had girls anyway but there's no way I would have used it.

AmberLeaf · 07/03/2013 19:32

Hmm, did his now wife know what your name was when she first 'got with' him?

Does she now know what it is?

I don't think I would name a baby the same name as my DPs EX, not if I knew what her name was anyway.

Maybe it is a name she always liked? or a family name on her side?

TheArmadillo · 07/03/2013 19:34

It's a bit weird as clearly a serious relationship, however maybe his wife had always had her heart set on it or it was a family name or something.

Think of it as weird but not worth the headspace of thinking about it.

ThingummyBob · 07/03/2013 19:36

Definitely weird Confused

I have a friend who's ds is named the same as one of her previous boyfriends. It's an unusual name and I don't know if her dh knows it was an ex's name. very odd imho.

Original poster
ceramicunicorn · 07/03/2013 19:39

I was good friends with his now wife until they went behind my back.

It's funny I haven't thought about that relationship in ages, but it I do just feel a bit sad to think that I hadn't even crossed their minds when they were thinking up names

OP posts:
Yama · 07/03/2013 19:39

My first thought was 'yes, that's weird'. However, I then thought back to my first love (19-22) and I really like his name and would've used it if dh had suggested it.

I wouldn't have used my second love's name though.

Terranova · 07/03/2013 19:44

Our daughter shares a name with my husbands ex fiancée, however it is a total coincidence as it is also my best friends name.

Lots of his friends smirked and initially made jokes, but they don't know my friends or the reason behind us choosing the name. Our daughter has now been around a lot longer than the ex fiancée, so its old news.

Men don't realy hold things like this to heart, women and ex's however do!

MaryRobinson · 07/03/2013 19:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bedmonster · 07/03/2013 19:46

Well I don't think you're being self obsessed at all unless you're constantly thinking about it, but I also don't find it particularly weird. You said yourself that it's a common name (as in popular, not, y'know, common Grin ) and therefore, liked by many to be in the top 20.

Original poster
ceramicunicorn · 07/03/2013 19:49

I shall just have to accept that I have an incredibly awesome name.

OP posts:
Bluemonkeyspots · 07/03/2013 19:52

I want to know the name Grin

Bogeyface · 07/03/2013 19:56

If she knew your name I find that very odd. If she hadnt known then fair enough, but given that she was your friend I do think it very weird!

H has a list of exes as long as your arm (serial boyfriend, didnt get together til he was 42) and that left a much shorter list of possible baby names for DD!

BreasticlesNotTesticles · 07/03/2013 20:00

No that's weird.

If you and ExP split up, and then he met another gf who had nothing to do with you 6 months later, naming their dd the same as you would not be weird.

Them being involved together and both betraying you, and both being friends with you, and then naming daughter with your name = weird

WestieMamma · 07/03/2013 20:02

Yep it's a bit weird. Like my ex. I had 2 names I wanted for a boy and a girl. Extremely unusual names in the UK but not so much in my family's home country and very common within the generations of my family. I found out he had remarried, had kids and used these names. He has no connection with the culture at all. I can't help but wondering if his new wife knows her kids were effectively named by his ex wife. Blooming weird if you ask me.

Arithmeticulous · 07/03/2013 20:05

Them being involved together and both betraying you, and both being friends with you, and then naming daughter with your name = weird

Having said that, my neighbour introduced his son as "Brian, named after my wife's ex-fiance" so there's a lot of it about.

BreasticlesNotTesticles · 07/03/2013 20:06

Do you live in a local town for local people Arith Wink

FattyMcChubster · 07/03/2013 20:08

I think it's odd. I was with my exp for 7 years and we discussed children. I hae always wanted a certain name for a girl as it has family meaning to me. when their daughter was born, they have her the exact name we had discussed previously. I was quite Hmm of I'm honest but he was a dick anyway.

EduCated · 07/03/2013 20:08

Hmm, how long ago was this relationship? If it was a few years ago, it's weird, but if its 10 years or more, they perhaps just decided that enough time had passed for it to not be a big deal.

janflan · 07/03/2013 20:09

My Son has the same name as an ex of mine. Admittedly i was only with him for a few months.

Ex Dp and our older dc's called my bump the name when i was pregnant. I told them no way was i naming him after my ex .

Ds didn't have a name for a few days because i just couldn't bring myself to call him it. By then though everyone else was calling him it and it stuck.

I do love his name now and it suits him and it doesn't remind me of my distant ex at all.

HollyBerryBush · 07/03/2013 20:11

Shall I tell you something really really spooky?

My ExH - I got shot of him when I was 22, no contact since whatsoever, I've got married again at 27, three children. He's had a succession or wives/live ins and had 4 children.

At no point has he been able to trace/track me - all his kids have the same names as my 3 boys, the other has my now surname as a first name.

Thats spooky - and if you are wondering how I know this, no I never traced/stalked him either - but his sister (She doesnt talk to him) recently got in touch through a distant relative and we were swapping gossip.

Now thats spooky!

Snusmumriken · 07/03/2013 20:12

The baby might have been named after one of her mother's relatives.

Original poster
ceramicunicorn · 07/03/2013 20:14

That's weird fatty. My XP was a dick too.

We split up 6 years ago edu.

I just find it odd that he's only had 2 relationships in his lifetime and he's gicen his dd the same name as the woman in the relationship that didn't work out.

Not sure why it's playing on my mind so much. I guess just a case of realising that a relationship didn't mean as much to my xp as it did to me.

OP posts:
Gingefringe · 07/03/2013 20:16

We've named our dog after DH's ex.

Original poster
ceramicunicorn · 07/03/2013 20:16

Sorry didn't mean to cross out names, meant to bold them. Doink!

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread