AIBU to wish DP wouldn't shave his head.

[1985Caz]

I know I probably am being BU, but still.

Me & DP have been together for 2y and friends for 6y before that. He has gorgeous thick curly hair. In the last 6m he's started shaving it to a grade 2. He keeps saying 'it's the last time' then when it grows back, he does it again. I find it really unattractive - he looks thuggy and has scars on his head. He's not balding so it's not because of that.

If I got a haircut he really hated I don't think I'd do it again if he said so. Not because I can't have my own opinion but I wouldn't live the idea of someone I loved and had sex with to find me less attractive.

Am I completely 100% BU?

I feel the same about my DP but he loves having very short hair. He did grow it 2 years ago but he didn't like it and was only doing it for me. I actually find it sexier now when it is short because I know my DP feels better about himself.

As you nowhere in your post suggest you're actually insisting he keeps his hair as you like it, then you're not being unreasonable in the slightest. I have a similar problem when mine shaves his beard - it looks wrong, doesn't look like him, and I don't like clean-shaven chins.

Are you going to sit down and talk to him about it?

He doesn't even think it looks better

His reasons are a) it's cheaper (it isn't because he has it done more often) and b) he doesn't have to wash his hair as much (not true, he can still get a smelly head).

Has your DP always had short hair honeytea?

I have tried StormyBrid and he gives me the reasons above!

Yep he always had a shaved head, he comes from a country where a shaved head doesn't have the same connotations as it does in the UK so the idea that it made him looked like a thug was odd to him, I guess it is odd that a hair cut can make you look like a thug.

honeytea then you must have found it attractive to start with? I have known my DP for so long and with a shaved head he looks like a totally different person...

YABU...I love a man with a shaved head. I'd think it was great if my DH did it but he likes his thick head of hair. I also want him to get a tattoo and he won't. I think I must have a secret wish for a bit of rough!

From a blokes perspective, I used to keep mine a grade 1 all over. It was mainly for work reasons (so it wouldn't get pulled) but also because I'm quite lazy. And your partner is right- with regard washing you can quickly wash it as you would your body much less faff!

Strawberry I don't! My struggling artist now looks like a right bruiser!

yanbu, it's insulting when your partner does something they know makes them unattractive to you. It shows they don't care.

We met online and so we chatted for ages before we actually met so I fell for his personality first. He also has some awful tattoos. I think meeting him actually made me stop being so judgemental, he is such a sweetie he takes me to clasical music concerts and art galleries whilst looking like a doorman.

thezebrawearspurple
"yanbu, it's insulting when your partner does something they know makes them unattractive to you. It shows they don't care."

What complete bollocks.

OP
YABU

His hair his choice.

It's not bollocks, you can't expect your partner to fancy you if you are knowingly making yourself unattractive to them.

I completely agree with you. My husband occasionally gets his hair cut very short and I really dislike it, he looks conpletely different and far less attractive. I make an effort for him ( well as much as I can with 2 small childrn and feeling crap and fat) so don't understand why he doesn't do the same. Of course it's his hair but I am the person who has sex with him, I need to find him attractive!

If you put such a high priority on how your partners hair looks that you no longer fancy them when they change their hair style, then they are better off without you.

Exactly willowstar!

Maryz

In the same vein, how many "I want to cut/restyle my hair but DH only likes my hair long" threads have had the DH as a controlling bastard.

You can't help what your attracted to though, love and attraction are two different things. Mary, I'd have sympathy for him as I do this lady.

I don't like my husband shaving his head so he doesn't do it anymore!

I didn't make a fuss, just said I prefer it longer so that is the way he kept it.

I didn't try to insist, say it meanly or in a controlling way at all. He takes my opinion into account like I do his, but ultimately it's our choice but he knows I love his hair longer so he is happy to do it.

The point is that the OP doesn't like it, yet her DH does.

So who should win?

Boney; that would depend on how much sex he wants