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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that a 7 year old can be expected to

105 replies

Verycold · 14/02/2013 23:01

Be quiet during a show. And even if it is a show mainly for children, you still shouldnt chat all the way through it as if you were in front of your telly at home.

OP posts:
deleted203 · 14/02/2013 23:05

YANBU. I hate it if people take badly behaved children out to places where others have paid to watch/listen to something. I don't expect to go to the cinema or theatre and listen to someone else's child talking all the way through it. If they can't be quiet leave the little buggers at home.

MyHeadWasInTheSandNowNot · 14/02/2013 23:09

An NT 7 year old, yes. A 7 year old with SN - maybe/maybe not. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt.

bumperella · 14/02/2013 23:11

Agree....assuming it really is chattering for a lot of the time, rather than Question A, Answer B, silence for the rest of the event. But loads of adults talk through films/theatre/etc....

deleted203 · 14/02/2013 23:14

So am I the only one that would be inclined to say loudly in the cinema 'Would you please stop talking! The rest of us have paid to see this film!' Grin.

cardibach · 14/02/2013 23:17

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MrsKeithRichards · 14/02/2013 23:23

You know, know I was pondering this the other day. I've been going to the cinema with ds (7) regularly since he was 3. He has always been perfectly behaved, nice and quiet.

We were at the cinema the other day to see Wreck it Ralph and I had to shush him quite a few times, it took me by surprise. It was things like 'what did that say' (he's struggling with his reading) and other questions.

I wondered if it was something to do with age, like he's that little bit older and getting much more into films, films understanding it on a deeper level rather than just enjoying it for the animation and obvious jokes, but still needing a hand.

He was whispering and it happened 4 or 5 times through the film. I don't think he was heard over the whining kids and sweetie wrappers.

VerySmallSqueak · 14/02/2013 23:27

Talking/messing all the way through,not really on.

A couple of random comments/questions now and then, is fine by me.

MyHeadWasInTheSandNowNot · 14/02/2013 23:33

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Catchingmockingbirds · 14/02/2013 23:46

1 in 88 born are dx with having an ASD. That's one type of SN and it's quite a big percentage...

Yfronts · 14/02/2013 23:50

An average 7 year old - yes

newpencilcase · 14/02/2013 23:56

My 7 year old struggles. He's just not very good at sitting still. He gets fidgety, often asks questions etc. My 4 year old is actually much better. We haven't taken him to the cinema on a regular basis as it hasn't been his thing. But as he gets older it is, and he enjoys the theatre.

The thing is, at what point does that mean he has to miss out on experiences. So I'm not going to take him to Tosca or anything, but an age appropriate show should have a bit of give and take.

Otherwise, how is he ever going to learn how to behave if he is never given the chance.

Parents letting their children run riot is one thing, but trying to teach a child how to behave needs a bit of leeway.

newpencilcase · 14/02/2013 23:57

He does not have special needs btw

Picturesinthefirelight · 14/02/2013 23:59

My ds used to struggle so I didn't take him to shows except for panto until he was able to sit quietly.

newpencilcase · 15/02/2013 00:03

But pictures, how do they learn to sit quietly?

It's a genuine question. At what point to do keep your children at home until they are fully fledged beings capable of sitting still and quiet for hours.

I have the same dilemma in restaurants.

Picturesinthefirelight · 15/02/2013 00:08

Well we built it up. Dose left him home when we went to wicked. (He was 6)Took him to panto where some noise is expected to see how he went. School took him to a children's theatre shiows so we thought we'd try mamma Mia (upbeat, bit of dancing expected at the end) and we will rock you. Both tines warning him he had better be good.

Last year he was 8 and managed and enjoyed Matilda & les Mis.

Bluebirdonmyshoulder · 15/02/2013 08:53

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hazeyjane · 15/02/2013 08:57

dds1 and 2 (5 and 6) might ask a couple of questions through a film, but not very loudly, and as they have got older they have started to learn that it is better to whisper.

The thing about pointing out that children with sn may have trouble sitting quietly through a film or show, is not to say that everyone who is talking is doing so because they have sn, but to remind people to think about the fact that talking or fidgeting might be because someone has sn, andto just bear that in mind before judging harshly.

ANd in anycase, it is unfair on others if your child's particular SN mean they spoil the event for everyone else.

This^^ on the other hand is horseshit, children and adults with sn are part of society, they are us, and every so often the nt world has to bend and soften a bit to make itself accessible to those that might struggle within it.

mrsjay · 15/02/2013 08:58

can I just say I hate this NT /sn references sometimes all 7 yr olds chat it was a childrens thing and children are chatty and curious are they supposed to sit still and not enjoy the film or whatever, it wasn't exactly the library was it, yabu

usualsuspect · 15/02/2013 09:02

I would think a 7 year old would find it difficult to sit in complete silence for a couple of hours, yes.

I would expect a child to talk at a childrens show so YABU.

hazeyjane · 15/02/2013 09:04

Tbh when we go to the cinema or theatre, I don't really notice people chatting.

usualsuspect · 15/02/2013 09:06

The sound is always so loud, it drowns out other people chatting.

theodorakisses · 15/02/2013 09:16

Some do some don't. I would rather the chatter than think of them being left home or being bribed to keep quiet and act normal. I have a friend with a son who is 6 and twirls his hands and shrieks occasionally. She makes him sit on his hands and gives him warnings if he gets excited and shrieks. It makes me sad, he is already looking burdened.

auntevil · 15/02/2013 09:29

Assuming that this show was for the general public - of which all people from the continuum of quiet to noisy YABU.
If however, this was a showing for ignorant, bigoted intolerants (not necessarily the OP, but judging from some anti-disabalist posts on MN there are a few) then YANBU

BumpingFuglies · 15/02/2013 09:39

I don't think an average 7 year old could be expected to keep quiet, no.

Bluebird I think you are unduly harsh in your conclusion about MN attitudes to SN. I think Cardi is in the minority with that ill-judged remark.

Catchingmockingbirds · 15/02/2013 09:43

I disagree bumping, I think that sadly bluebirds comment was quite accurate from what I've seen of mn over the past few years I've been here.

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