To inwardly chuckle at this competitive parenting?

[BobbysBeardOfWonder]

At DD's swimming class today - all the kids are roughly 2.5.

Newcomer mum says to her DD: 'come on DD, point your toes! Come on, like you do in ballet!'

Please tell me your recent competitive parenting stories!

I am a childminder and care for a girl in my son's class. Dad came to collect the girl and said "We need to hurry home so that you can learn your lines as First Narrator for The School Play!" (Yes, I could hear the capitalisation of those words as he said them.)

Is that competitive parenting? If DD was asked to point her toes she probably wouldn't get it, if I then said "do good toes like at Ballet" she would then point her toes, thats not being competitive that is helping her understand what to do.

I wouldnt say that was really competitive parenting, just a way to explain something to a small child that they would understand.

It depends on the tone of voice. Quietly encouraging and explaining - good; loud voice and looking around at other adults for confirmation of their amazing parenting abilities - fucking annoying.

That's not competitive parenting - that's paranoid eavesdropping. And a sprinkling of judginess. Hope other mums weren't paying as much critical attention to the 'newcomer mum.'

God damn those Newcomers.

Are you jealous of her? Yes you are.

I don't get the 'good toes / naughty toes' thong. Surely 'point your toes' is much more straightforward. Or it would be for my DD anyway competitive parent

I wouldn't say that is competitive parenting. I really hate how judgey people are towards other mums. I am one of those mums who talks non stop to my daughter when we are out and about. I am not doing it for anyone other than me and my dd. I don't care what other people think when they over hear me and dd chatting away about all kinds of random crap. I just try and get her engaged in whatever activity we are doing, be it shopping or aqua tots or whatever. I'm a working mum, my time with dd is so limited that I just want to make the most of every second we are together.

Not competitive-it would only be seen as that if you're competitive yourself. Just let her do her thing, you do yours, competition doesn't then exist!

Calandarbear makes a good point. If I am trying to explain things to ds, I use something he understands as a reference point (usually Fireman Sam based!)

It doesn't sound competitive to me.

I too think that is a perfectly reasonable way to explain to a small child what she needs to do.
You are the one who sounds smug and competitive here I'm afraid.

agree that isn't competitive

it would have been if she had said

'point your toes - like you did during your ballet recital at sadlers wells'

That doesn't sound competitive to me.

You are being horrible about this 'newcomer' mum. Jealous? You bet you are.

Not competitive at all... I agree with the other posters. A really sensible comparison .

And MamaBear -- well said! I am the same!

Yes, well said mamabear and winter - I talk all the time to the dcs. I also tell them stuff - I know things (names of trees, historical facts etc) why wouldn't I want them to learn that stuff too? I confess to getting them counting apples into bags in supermarkets, talking to them about their achievments, making them listen while I tell then something factual about what we are doing, etc etc. And if you overhear me and judge, I don't care.

nice post, mamabear.

Maybe you should have a look at all the threads on here where people have gone to parent and toddler groups or various clubs and felt totally isolated, judged and embarrased because no-one bothered speaking to them and started eyerolling when they speak to their child. Gain some understanding of how it feels to be on the receiving end of it, and then make an effort to not judge her and maybe even say hi next week, rather than come on her and bitch about the woman for talking to her 2yo in an age appropriate way.

Erm is anyone else thinking this wasn't quite the response the OP was hoping for?

Casmama, no I think you are right. I was the first to take it in this direction but was genuinely asking if that was an example because I think I must be guilty of it when really I only talk to DCs and don't care whether other adults are eavesdropping. Sorry OP.

Where did I say I didn't talk to her? I was the only other parent that did speak to her in fact.
It was her tone of voice when she said the bit about ballet that made me chuckle, but I'll accept I'm BU then

I am far too busy off to mandarin classes with my dds. It is Chinese New Year and she has a project.

not competitive at all - just a fairly normal child friendly explanation of the way her toes need to be