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AIBU?

To inwardly chuckle at this competitive parenting?

29 replies

BobbysBeardOfWonder · 12/02/2013 19:35

At DD's swimming class today - all the kids are roughly 2.5.

Newcomer mum says to her DD: 'come on DD, point your toes! Come on, like you do in ballet!'

Please tell me your recent competitive parenting stories!

OP posts:

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Groovee · 12/02/2013 21:50

Dh was taking the children to swimming lessons when his SIL saw him one week and next week had started started turning up. One week she was a right royal PITA "*** come one get in the pool and show the other kids how to swim!"

Dh said she was bending over trying to persuade him to get into the pool that he was tempted to push her in. He had to get up and walk away and he heard the head coach muttering about her and then saying that he wasn't being professional. Dh said "At least you aren't stuck with her as a family member!" The bloke said he had wondered with their last names being the same. He did say "I wondered if she was your wife last week the way she was trying to sit on your lap!"

Confirmed what dd had told me about Auntie bitchface trying to sit on dad's knee.

She was very big on loud parenting when out and about which dh got annoyed about as her kids often got into scrapes and she would stand there saying "oh dear how will I get you out of there?"

Turniphead1 · 12/02/2013 21:37

My DD (4) started ballet the other day. I told her to point her toes just like at swimming. Oh how the other parents must have wondered at my extraordinary tiger mothering - choosing as I had two of the most hardcore and unusual of the preschool activities.

CHST · 12/02/2013 21:36

I was busily looking at the children's section in a charity bookshop when I heard
"Oh let's look at the Roald Dahl books, his books are really good, or how about Dick King Smith?" I felt a child brush up against me, thinking he/she would be about the same age as my son (6) but when I turned, cue a toddler of about 18 months picking up the book he wanted. Dad..."Oh a Spot book...errr uhhhm..okay." Had to giggle to myself about that one

Fakebook · 12/02/2013 21:24

Let's all stop talking to our children in public, because its either loud parenting or competitive parenting. Also never talk about your children/babies sleeping through/eating/walking/crawling/reading because that means you're showing off and are smug.

changeforthebetter · 12/02/2013 21:24

gordyslovesheep · 12/02/2013 21:20

not competitive at all - just a fairly normal child friendly explanation of the way her toes need to be

thebody · 12/02/2013 21:12

I am far too busy off to mandarin classes with my dds. It is Chinese New Year and she has a project.

BobbysBeardOfWonder · 12/02/2013 21:05

Where did I say I didn't talk to her? I was the only other parent that did speak to her in fact.
It was her tone of voice when she said the bit about ballet that made me chuckle, but I'll accept I'm BU then

OP posts:

calandarbear · 12/02/2013 21:05

Casmama, no I think you are right. I was the first to take it in this direction but was genuinely asking if that was an example because I think I must be guilty of it when really I only talk to DCs and don't care whether other adults are eavesdropping. Sorry OP.

Casmama · 12/02/2013 20:59

Erm is anyone else thinking this wasn't quite the response the OP was hoping for?

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 12/02/2013 20:51

Maybe you should have a look at all the threads on here where people have gone to parent and toddler groups or various clubs and felt totally isolated, judged and embarrased because no-one bothered speaking to them and started eyerolling when they speak to their child. Gain some understanding of how it feels to be on the receiving end of it, and then make an effort to not judge her and maybe even say hi next week, rather than come on her and bitch about the woman for talking to her 2yo in an age appropriate way.

rainrainandmorerain · 12/02/2013 20:47

nice post, mamabear.

notactuallyme · 12/02/2013 20:36

Yes, well said mamabear and winter - I talk all the time to the dcs. I also tell them stuff - I know things (names of trees, historical facts etc) why wouldn't I want them to learn that stuff too? I confess to getting them counting apples into bags in supermarkets, talking to them about their achievments, making them listen while I tell then something factual about what we are doing, etc etc. And if you overhear me and judge, I don't care.

WinterMymble · 12/02/2013 20:29

Not competitive at all... I agree with the other posters. A really sensible comparison .

And MamaBear -- well said! I am the same!

countrykitten · 12/02/2013 20:28

You are being horrible about this 'newcomer' mum. Jealous? You bet you are.

SauvignonBlanche · 12/02/2013 20:22

That doesn't sound competitive to me.

EverybodysSootyEyed · 12/02/2013 20:20

agree that isn't competitive

it would have been if she had said

'point your toes - like you did during your ballet recital at sadlers wells'

Magdalenebaby · 12/02/2013 20:19

I too think that is a perfectly reasonable way to explain to a small child what she needs to do.
You are the one who sounds smug and competitive here I'm afraid.

hazeyjane · 12/02/2013 20:15

Calandarbear makes a good point. If I am trying to explain things to ds, I use something he understands as a reference point (usually Fireman Sam based!)

It doesn't sound competitive to me.

Backtobedlam · 12/02/2013 20:11

Not competitive-it would only be seen as that if you're competitive yourself. Just let her do her thing, you do yours, competition doesn't then exist!

MamaBear17 · 12/02/2013 20:09

I wouldn't say that is competitive parenting. I really hate how judgey people are towards other mums. I am one of those mums who talks non stop to my daughter when we are out and about. I am not doing it for anyone other than me and my dd. I don't care what other people think when they over hear me and dd chatting away about all kinds of random crap. I just try and get her engaged in whatever activity we are doing, be it shopping or aqua tots or whatever. I'm a working mum, my time with dd is so limited that I just want to make the most of every second we are together.

INeedThatForkOff · 12/02/2013 20:00

I don't get the 'good toes / naughty toes' thong. Surely 'point your toes' is much more straightforward. Or it would be for my DD anyway competitive parent

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SoleSource · 12/02/2013 19:59

Are you jealous of her? Yes you are.

SolomanDaisy · 12/02/2013 19:57

God damn those Newcomers.

rainrainandmorerain · 12/02/2013 19:53

That's not competitive parenting - that's paranoid eavesdropping. And a sprinkling of judginess. Hope other mums weren't paying as much critical attention to the 'newcomer mum.'

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