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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU re ice skating

26 replies

PrivatelyPeaceful · 12/02/2013 15:45

AIBU to not want a relative to take dds aged 8 and 10 ice skating, and want to supervise them myself when they skate?

I would take them myself and have done so a couple of times, but think that its actually quite a dangerous activity in terms of possibility of injury occurring.

Partly this is to do with this particular relative not having dc and not being that tuned in to the amount of support my younger child might need to help her negotiate an ice rink safely (i'd feel ok letting mil take them).

I am happy to go all together as on outing, but do feel anxious about relinquishing full responsibility.

AIBU / overly anxious to engineer things so that this relative doesnt take them alone?

OP posts:
Original poster
PrivatelyPeaceful · 12/02/2013 15:47

ps I honestly don't do helicopter parenting, but do have the odd anxiety and head injury is one of them, hence me asking for some perspective.

OP posts:
chibi · 12/02/2013 15:51

if this is more to do with that relative, then YANBU

if it is to do with the inherent dangers of skating then YABU, as long as it is a proper rink and not one of those supercrowded outdoor ones

Wallace · 12/02/2013 15:54

Personally I would delighted if anyone wanted to take my children anywhere to have fun. so YABU :)

Fourkisses · 12/02/2013 15:55

I let my ds go ice skating for the first time ever at a friends birthday party. He was 7yo at the time.

Would you let this relative take your kids to a playground or swimming? What about driving in his/her car? These could easily be just as 'dangerous'.

Sorry but I don't see what you are worried about. YABU

AgentProvocateur · 12/02/2013 15:55

I think you're being over-anxious, especially as they've been before. If they've only been a couple of times, they won't stray far from the edge, and are unlikely to be going at speed. Honestly, most children would be starting to go with groups of friends at this age. Our rink was in a shopping mall, so I'd leave the DC and their friends, but would be nearby in case I was needed. (I never was!)

Original poster
PrivatelyPeaceful · 12/02/2013 15:56

it's more to do with not being tuned in to how much help youngest might need as a result of being unused to children.

as i say, i would let them go with mil. or dh could take them. i guess some of it is anxiety based so i have to feel extra sure the person taking them will be 'on it', iyswim

OP posts:
Chopstheduck · 12/02/2013 15:59

I think you are worrying too much. Just because they don't have kids doesn't mean anything really, they might even be ultra careful just because they don't have that experience.

I'm experienced - I have four kids, and have taken mine skating a few times. One is disabled, so i generally have to stay with him and my 7 year olds go off by themselves a lot of the time. You'd probably be horrified!

Original poster
PrivatelyPeaceful · 12/02/2013 16:00

sorry, slow typing!

hmm... tbh i would worry a bit about dd2 swimming with a group of friends. i am a bit overprotective of her as she is tiny, i must admit.

its weird 'cos they go off and ski without me for hours and thats more dangerous... i guess its not a rational thing.

OP posts:
SashaSashays · 12/02/2013 16:01

I think yabu, lots of people who don't have children are great with children.

My DS and his girlfriend who are both late teens, took their nephew ice skating at Christmas. He's 4 years old, neither of them have children and it was fine. They all had a great time.

Theres a rink near us and I used to take all my DCs from the sort of ages you've said and leave them while I went in the cafe. I'm also pretty sure DD's (6) best friend is planning an ice skating party next month, based on the ages of the people who run these parties at the local rink, they generally don't have kids.

Startail · 12/02/2013 16:02

I hate watching my two skate, they love it. I'm delighted if they give someone else a heart attack falling over.

if you can skate reasonably then you may be some help to them. I can't and the children shoot of into the distance.

Original poster
PrivatelyPeaceful · 12/02/2013 16:03

chops, i wouldnt be horrified at all, and if i was with her she would skate off alone, i promise. i'm just control freak!

OP posts:
Original poster
PrivatelyPeaceful · 12/02/2013 16:05

i am quite a good skater startail, but i agree it is stressful watching them fall over!

OP posts:
Original poster
PrivatelyPeaceful · 12/02/2013 16:08

sasha, she is good with the dds in many ways and would prob be fine. i realise that its irrational.

OP posts:
Withalittlesparkle · 12/02/2013 16:15

This reply has been deleted

The OP has privacy concerns about this post and so we've agreed to take it down.

BarredfromhavingStella · 12/02/2013 16:16

YABU, ice skating is really not that dangerous & they have been before so not completely inexperienced.

It is also pretty silly to think that the relative wont be able to look after them properly as they don't have dc.

You do sound quite over protective from your posts...

lljkk · 12/02/2013 16:26

yabu.
Besides everyone knows that breaking arms is the skater's choice of injury (or legs, says DH).

they ski for hours without you which is fine but you're not okay with skating in an indoor rink? Did you mean skating on a wild lake somewhere? I presume not.... okay, yes, you need to recalibrate your perspective.

Saski · 12/02/2013 16:28

I tend to be a nervous parent and I'm not seeing this. I think YABU.

MaxPepsi · 12/02/2013 16:41

YABU

I don't have kids but I'm much more tuned in to the needs of kids - especially my brothers kids - then their own parents are or ever will be!

SashaSashays · 12/02/2013 16:44

Well at least you realise its irrational, now hopefully you will let them go.

laluna · 12/02/2013 16:50

Yabu. DD chose an ice skating party for her 8th birthday. We took about 6 of her and her friends - none of them had skated before and I am certainly no Jayne Torvill! They had a ball. They all got on fine.

complexnumber · 12/02/2013 17:06

I'm another party pooper here. I let the kids go to parties at the ice rink and didn't bother to watch until DD1 fell and smashed her face. I found that there was no first aider and I was just given a tupperware with some tissues and band aids to get on with myself. After a pretty grim experience I would want to know what your friend's plan would be if one of the kids got injured but not badly enough for an ambulance. Taxi drivers don't like the blood it turns out. I won't be taking them ice-skating again without a car within 100 metres.

LIZS · 12/02/2013 17:10

Not rational ! Make them wear ski gloves , salopettes and even a helmet if it makes you feel better. Many rinks have pushalong supports (penguins) for the inexperienced or they grapple their way along the barrier. Even dyspraxic ds managed aged 4 (class outing), no injuries.

MyHeadWasInTheSandNowNot · 12/02/2013 17:22

It really doesn't make any difference if you are there or not. If she's 'skating off' without you, what on earth do you think you being there will do if she has a fall? You wont be able to do a wonderwoman move and scoop her up before she hits the ice Grin Come on, you have to see that it's no different whether you take them or someone else... if they fall, they fall - and at least there's not a cliff involved!

MyHeadWasInTheSandNowNot · 12/02/2013 17:23

LIZS - I saw those in London at Christmas and I want one, they're so cute and so much more appealing that the old 'walking frames'! I'm only 5ft, do you think they'll let me have one?? even though I can skate

musicposy · 12/02/2013 17:52

It's not that dangerous - they will be fine.
My Dds skate competitively, mostly in training sessions nowadays but have done hundreds and hundreds of public sessions in the past and I've sat and witnessed many more.

It is quite common for someone on the ice to have a fall and for the marshalls to take them off and that makes it look all much more dramatic and dangerous than it is. But that is one person out of hundreds and even then, for that to be a serious injury is very, very rare. Most of the time someone gives themselves a bit of a shock by falling or bumps something. The chances of your DDs being one of even those are very slight indeed.

Let them go and try to relax. The marshalls are very well trained and keep a good eye out for anything which might cause danger to anyone on the ice. So even if the people taking them are not very responsible, it'll be fine.

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