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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not bother with Valentines Day?

47 replies

wibblyjelly · 08/02/2013 21:47

First one since DH and I have been married, but we both agree its commercial marketing, and we aren't going to buy cards etc for each other.

Aibu in thinking you don't need a special day to tell that special person that you love them?

OP posts:
dizzy77 · 08/02/2013 21:48

Yanbu. We don't bother, haven't for years.

HollyBerryBush · 08/02/2013 21:49

Sad you made me lose my bet - I reckoned Monday would be the start of the avalance of valentines threads.

We dont do VD day either Grin

Floralnomad · 08/02/2013 21:51

YANBU I've been with my husband for 28 years and I think we stopped doing valentines day about 26 years ago!

FlorriesDragons · 08/02/2013 21:53

No I don't think we are bothering much. This is an expensive year with weddings, babies and extensions so cash is a bit tight at the moment admnd we are both working like crazy. I'm sure DH won't mind and we will try to get a weekend away at some point.

IceNoSlice · 08/02/2013 21:59

YANBU. Valentine's day is not our special day either.

But it's a special day for some couples because they choose it to be so. Some couples celebrate anniversaries of meeting, getting together, marriage etc.

I think it's good to celebrate your relationship in dome way though. A special day/evening to be together, focus on each other and focus on the important stuff. Just up to you when!

exoticfruits · 08/02/2013 22:15

It is up to you- we have it as a special day- I like it.

specialsubject · 08/02/2013 22:29

YANBU. We don't do cards on any occasion, seems a bit daft when you live in the same house.

traditional curry night, though.

Original poster
wibblyjelly · 08/02/2013 22:30

Curry night, good idea! Smile

OP posts:
McNewPants2013 · 08/02/2013 22:31

I never bother either :)

MerylStrop · 08/02/2013 22:38

We don't buy stuff and definitely never go out
But sometimes try to have a nice supper together ie curry
Or do daft stuff like cut toast in to heart shapes

IceNoSlice · 08/02/2013 22:41

Heart shaped toast! I like it Smile

SkinnybitchWannabe · 08/02/2013 22:43

YANBU. Im not bothering...mainly because I cannot stand my husband and the thought of sending him a card makes me feel sick.

Purple2012 · 08/02/2013 22:45

We dont do valentines. Neither of us are bothered.

cerealqueen · 08/02/2013 22:45

I don't believe in it and Dp can't believe his luck! We don't need valentines day to know we love eachother.

However, if i was a teenager and liked somebody I'd send a card!

bedmonster · 08/02/2013 22:47

We don't bother either, been together too long to take any notice of that nonsensical shite! Can't imagine anything more cringeworthy that sitting in a restaurant with 20 other couples gushing and gooey eyed over candlelight either Grin

bedmonster · 08/02/2013 22:48

Oh Skinny :(

Original poster
wibblyjelly · 08/02/2013 22:50

Hope you are OK Skinny.

OP posts:
ihearsounds · 08/02/2013 22:54

Nothing worse than some forced, commercialized crap. Being spontaneous is a whole lot better. My dp knows the year he starts doing vd, is the year our relationship has fizzled out cos he's just going through the motions and vice versa.

ClippedPhoenix · 08/02/2013 22:57

YANBU. It's banned in this house since my DP bought me a card with 10 pages of shit and a stupid toy dog that looked like it had a strawberry mark hanging off its nose in the shape of a heart.

I have never ever been more insulted in my life!

Grin sort of ish.

MsVestibule · 08/02/2013 23:02

Being spontaneous is a whole lot better. This is exactly what what my DH says, along with "commercial rubbish" etc, etc. Which would be fine if he ever bought me cards, presents, made thoughtful gestures occasionally throughout the year, but he doesn't!

How many people refuse to celebrate Mother's/Father's Day in any way because they won't be told when to tell their mum/dad they appreciate them? I think it's nice to have a particular day where you buy a card and spoil each other.

bedmonster · 08/02/2013 23:18

MsV Mothers and Fathers Day in our house is special because the DC tend to make things at school and try and cobble together a breakfast that they've planned and shopped for with the other parent. We appreciate them making the effort as it shows us they appreciate the efforts we put into parenting them iyswim.
We buy each other cards and presents on birthdays, that's enough for us.
DP and I aren't into gushy sentiment, Valentines day just seems false.

Original poster
wibblyjelly · 08/02/2013 23:22

I think that's part of the problem MrsV. You shouldn't have to have a special day to tell your parents you appreciate what they do for you.

OP posts:
ripsishere · 08/02/2013 23:28

YANBU. DDs school had a thing last week where you could pay a certain amount of money and have a gift delivered by the older pupils.
I was very Hmm about it all. I wanted to know where the money was going if it was supposedly for charity.
I never found out, but DD did get a bracelet. She was one of only three girls in her class to get a gift.
It was a very divisive thing to do.

BadgersNadgers · 08/02/2013 23:28

We use it as an excuse to have wine on a week night!

MsVestibule · 08/02/2013 23:28

Wibbly Of course you shouldn't have to have a special day to tell your parents you appreciate them, but I'm guessing a lot of people on this thread still buy a card/present for their parents on those days? And if so, why then, but not on Valentine's Day?

TBH, I'm not that bothered that we don't celebrate it at all, but just don't see what the difference is between Valentine's Day and Mother's/Father's Day in that sense.

Bedmonster the presents/homemade cards from young DCs are lovely, but I was thinking more of us grown-ups buying for our own parents.