Just wondered over to the G&T section

[BlipbipBeep]

Had an interesting first parent teacher session with DS2's nursery teacher (he is three) She thinks he is very bright and now I am very proud . So I thought, what the heck? lets have a look and see what the G&Ts talk about (I used to think it stood for gin and tonic, clearly he doesn't get his brains from me).

Ooops :) I am just never going to be that sort of parent. DS loves learning, I know that, but to me he is just a normal little boy. Am I really stunting his potential by not being super mum?

G and T is a scary place.

I was a gifted child. Thank God Mumsnet wasn't around in those days!

Isn't it! I had to leave pretty sharpish for fear of an inferiority complex

I don't really understand your question.

One of the few things Michael Gove has ever said that makes any sense is that all children need to be challenged. If they are not, they learn to get by without putting in any effort - that becomes normal.

It's then impossible for them to achieve their potential, because their 'normal' is not to really try. Eventually there will come a point where the less able people who learned to try will do better than a more naturally talented person who learned not to try. Sadly I know this from personal experience. I got a worse A level maths grade than a girl that my teacher at junior school used to get me to help during maths lessons, for example.

Making sure your child is pushed to learn doesn't make him not "normal", nor do you have to be a "super-mum" to achieve it.

I think you probably wandered.

Its light hearted Macha. DS is three, they have clearly identified that he is bright in school and have allsorts of plans to challenge him within a nurturing environment. I knew he was bright before he went - his nursery take great pride in telling me of his many achievements I don't feel at this age he needs any more stimulation.

Trills - you are probably right

OK, so maybe G&T isn't the place for you, OP.

What's your question?

I know what you mean, some parents just seem to use it as a place to show off what their child can do, or to try to find out how to push them into something which I think is a shame as it should be a good area of support for parents who need it.

Beer - I suppose that there is a common conception that all posters in AIBU are spoiling for a fight? generalisations exist

Agree with Machadaynu. I was clever when I started school, loved learning etc. My first year at primary, I was put up a year and was easily doing the primary 2 work. Then it stopped and I "redid" primary 2 with those of my own age.

I stopped working because I didn't need to. I cruised, and did the bare minimum for all my academic life. I do have a degree, but I know it could have been so much better than it was.

Now I'm in a job where I am just cruising and am not challenged with a crap salary.

Kids should always be challenged and stretched - maybe not all the time, but certainly academically.

G and T??? Does that not mean Gin and Tonic?? What other G & T is there? :)

BlipbiBeep - the school sounds great. I'm not sure the pre-school the kid goes to have twigged she can read yet - but they are great in every other way, and the kid has great fun there.

PerAspera - you've just described my life - I was put up a year and back again too.

I actually don't agree, there is a difference between clever and ambitious. You may be very bright but obviously lacked ambition.

I agree Beer, but I think its down to the tone and some of them do appear to just be boasting whereas others it is obvious they are after support rather than being told "wow your child is great"

(I don't think I have ever posted there by the way and would never consider telling a poster they sounded like they were boasting thats just how some of the posts read)

It's not a lack of ambition; it's a lack of knowledge of how to be ambitious.

If, from the time when you're 6, you never have to try to be able to do anything educationally because it makes sense, and the teachers don't stretch you because you always get top marks and get bullied mercilessly because of it then you are never challenged and don't learn how to do it yourself.

Being a gifted child is not all it cracks up to be sometimes, trust me.

I get really wound up by the "like you and like I"

I must be G&T at pedantry!

BlipbipBeep I don't agree. I was very ambitious, and still am, but I didn't learn how to stick at anything and get results. My experience when I was younger was that if I couldn't do anything straight away, I was probably doing it wrong. Obviously things you learn when you are young are hard to un-learn,even if you know they are wrong. What you learn as a kid shapes your life. I was in my mid-30's when I realised that when my intelligent friends said they had "done no work" they meant they hadn't done much, or felt they should have done more. And when I say "realised" I mean one of them told me. I meant I had literally done nothing. The revision I did for my university finals wasn't revision - it was the first time I'd opened the book. And I did it whilst walking to the exam hall. You would no doubt call that laziness, but I genuinely think it was because of the habits I learned at school.

And I don't agree with stretching children- it makes them a funny shape.

I do agree with exciting them and challenging them. Regardless of their G&T ness

PerAspera Exact opposite for me. I was considered a 'gifted' child and was pushed and pushed and pushed and the expectations for me were too great. I think everyone overestimated my intellectual prowess and I couldn't cope with failing and disappointing everyone, developed crippling mental health problems with stemmed from the expectations and dropped out of school at 16.

Though obviously, mine was a rare case. Most G&T children grow up to be bright and happy.