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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel a little hurt

53 replies

Mrsblackcar · 04/02/2013 14:24

I had joined a thread called BFP 2013 in conception, thinking it was a place to discuss the fact that unbelievlibly i had just got a BFP on our first go!

2 posts after mine, i am very politely told this is a place for long term ttc. just felt like i should have known this when nothing in the thread tittle eludes to this.

I did read the first page of posts, but not all 9 and tried to be unsmug ad sympatheitc to those with a BFN (probubly didn't work)

I have avoided even looking in posts like TTC 10 months + because they just didn't apply to me, but this one i thought was a place to celebrate, now just feel sad.

I was ready for TTC to take forever my Mum had to wait 8 years with me so i am stunned to have hit it first go and still very unsure of whetehre it will all work out.

OP posts:
DoctorAnge · 04/02/2013 14:27

Congratulations!

I thought the ttc threads would have it in the title too so understand your confusion.

hiddenhome · 04/02/2013 14:27

That's a shame. You must have stumbled upon some clique.

Congratulations anyway Thanks

Bluemonkeyspots · 04/02/2013 14:28

Yabu, the thread is for people looking for a bfp who have spent ages trying.

It's a bit crass to jump in and announce your own bfp in the first month of ttc.

It's also bad form to start another thread about the original thread.

kilmuir · 04/02/2013 14:28

Congratulations. hope you can find a friendlier forum/thread

BuntyPenfold · 04/02/2013 14:28

Big congratulations to you both.
How could you know what the thread was about, of course you were excited and just posted your news.
Don't be sad.

pigletmania · 04/02/2013 14:29

Congratulations on your great news, don't worry about it, some are naturally sensitive as they are finding I hard to conceive and have had mc or losses down t line

NotSoNervous · 04/02/2013 14:30

Congratulations

At least it was mentioned to you politely. Have a look at the antenatal boards and there should be a group for the month your due that you can join or if you've found out really early then why don't you start one so others can join

pigletmania · 04/02/2013 14:30

By off the mark bluemonkey, op was not to know. No need to be rude. I hav been on thse treads as it took 2 years and several mc and finally a dc2

LadyBeagleEyes · 04/02/2013 14:30

She didn't know Bluemonkeys.
Contratulations Mrsblackcar.Grin

aldiwhore · 04/02/2013 14:31

If you're new how can you be expected to know?

bluemonkeyspots the OP is not psychic I assume, why so prickly?

If you'd known YWBU, but you didn't, so anyone who was rude to you and didn't pause and think it may have been an innocent mistake is crass and showing bad form.

Good luck with your pregnancy.

pigletmania · 04/02/2013 14:32

Yes go on antenatal and start your own tread

aldiwhore · 04/02/2013 14:33

I should add that, if everyone was polite, then YABU to start this thread.

Carrie37 · 04/02/2013 14:33

YANBU but try not to let it spoil ur happiness. It took me 5 yrs to get my first BFP by that stage I was past being reasonable about anything. Shes nearly 13 now so I've got over it but at the time I prob wud have been annoyed with u. Thier prob not yours!! Have a Brew.

MrsTerryPratchett · 04/02/2013 14:34

The moral of the story is read the thread. Anyway you got your BFP so enjoy!

Jollyb · 04/02/2013 14:34

Congratulations OP hope everything goes well for you. I echo what other posters have said - have a look in the antenatal club section.

CwtchesAndCuddles · 04/02/2013 15:04

Congratulations on your BFP.

I do think it was obvious from the first page of posts that most of the posters had been TTC for a long time.

Just move on and forget about it.

HecateWhoopass · 04/02/2013 15:09

It's a shame that you felt unwelcome, but my understanding of those threads is that they are not set up by those already pregnant, but are a support group for those trying to conceive?

It is, as others have said, considered really bad form to start a thread like this.

Although I can imagine it's actually really horrible to be basically - in however nice a way - told piss off, you're not welcome - when all you're looking for is a group to join.

fluffyraggies · 04/02/2013 15:13

"I know it's hard but until you've got to that "we're trying but nothing's happening" stage as personified by this thread, I genuinely think you have no idea of the turmoil that those in that stage go through each time there's a(nother) announcement."

A quote from the first page of that (very long running) thread.

Congratulations anyway OP. You were told politely at least.

pigletmania · 04/02/2013 15:28

I don't think it was bad firm o just a bit miffed. I just looked at te tread everyone was nice op don't know why your hurt Confused

pigletmania · 04/02/2013 15:30

Meant don't think it's bad form, op was a bit miffed

PicaK · 04/02/2013 17:05

Congratulations. But really on any thread you do need to read all the pages as the discussions move on so quickly. I think they were incredibly polite and told you where you would get the best support.

There are some sad tales in the 9pp you didn't bother to read.

manticlimactic · 04/02/2013 17:15

What's BF? (guess the P means positive?)

manticlimactic · 04/02/2013 17:16

S'ok. I found it in the acronyms Grin

nefertarii · 04/02/2013 17:22

Tbh I have had a look and I think it was quite obvious.

But it wasn't to you and I get that. However I would recommend you read all posts before posting.
Also I would recommend reading the forum guidelines as starting a thread about a thread is bad form.

Yabu, imo, to be hurt by it. You made a mistake they were polite. Just accept it was a misunderstanding and move on.

PickleSarnie · 04/02/2013 18:06

YABU. It was fairly obvious the general gist of the thread from the first few posts. Noone was anything polite and it certainly doesn't warrant starting your own thread to moan about the fact they weren't all jumping up and down with joy and excitement. Pretty much everyone gave their congrats, what more did you want?