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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel a little hurt

53 replies

Mrsblackcar · 04/02/2013 14:24

I had joined a thread called BFP 2013 in conception, thinking it was a place to discuss the fact that unbelievlibly i had just got a BFP on our first go!

2 posts after mine, i am very politely told this is a place for long term ttc. just felt like i should have known this when nothing in the thread tittle eludes to this.

I did read the first page of posts, but not all 9 and tried to be unsmug ad sympatheitc to those with a BFN (probubly didn't work)

I have avoided even looking in posts like TTC 10 months + because they just didn't apply to me, but this one i thought was a place to celebrate, now just feel sad.

I was ready for TTC to take forever my Mum had to wait 8 years with me so i am stunned to have hit it first go and still very unsure of whetehre it will all work out.

OP posts:
SunshineOutdoors · 04/02/2013 20:10

Mrsblackcar I'm one of the posters on that thread, and I'm sorry that you felt hurt. No one meant to make you feel like that and I'm sorry I can see one of my posts might have been a bit insensitive. It's difficult when posters have been chatting together for a long time, but you weren't to know that thread started off being called BFP in 2012. I don't think anybody was rude to you (except maybe me Blush), but as well as congratulating you and pointing towards other threads, I think it would have been weird if we hadn't talked about how your post came across on the thread. There had recently been a few discussions about coping with other people's pregnancy announcements. No offence meant, and everyone on that thread is, imo, really nice.

Congratulations again on your pregnancy, it is such a special time Smile

twinklestar2 · 04/02/2013 20:15

MrsB - another poster from that thread. Sorry my post was abrupt, I was trying to post quickly during my lunchbreak so it was done very quickly. I could have been less rude.

Secondly, I have been ttc for 19 months so it upsets me when people get pregnant first month! Totally irrational I know but it hurts a lot :(

Genuinely wish you all the best in your pregnancy and didn't mean to take the shine off your news.

Congratulations :)

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHopeful · 04/02/2013 20:22

mrsb I'm another one from the thread. Sorry if we took the shine off your bfp, this should be an amazing day for you. Have a happy pregnancy.

RedRobin1 · 04/02/2013 20:29

Mrsb I started that thread and didnt think of adding much in the title as I have lost all hope of conceiving anytime soon. Was too down and low to put much of a description in.

Most of us on that thread have been hand holding each other through ttc and have been through a lot of emotional upheaval for the past year.

Terribly sorry for my rude post on that thread but I have just started cycle 10 of ttc and when your post about falling pregnant in the first month of ttc came out of the blue I struggled to be happy for you. Congratulations on your bfp. You are one of the lucky few to conceive straight away and I am very Envy hope you have a healthy 9 months. Sorry to have upset you to start another thread. Didn't mean to.

pigletmania · 04/02/2013 20:36

Where is op? I wouldn't worry you guys, you were polite and not rude at all. I think op must be a bit hormonal Wink. I used to frequent those treads when trying to conceive a dc2 after several mc and a couple f years later we got there and have a one year od ds

pigletmania · 04/02/2013 20:37

I conceived straught away with dd but ds took a long time boys eh

HumphreyCobbler · 04/02/2013 20:40

you all sound lovely tbh, what nice messages to send to the OP on this thread

WillSingForCake · 04/02/2013 20:40

I thought they were very polite to you, especially given the sensitive circumstances. You're massively overreacting to be hurt. And if you're easily hurt then you're mad to post in AIBU!

I hope you can graciously accept the very generous apologies which have been posted on this thread by those on the TTC thread.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 04/02/2013 20:42

Wow - Sunshine, twinkle, hopeful, redrobin, you ladies from the other thread (which I have not read) are a classy bunch. What lovely posts. I hope OP returns to read them. Thanks

twinklestar2 · 04/02/2013 20:46

We are all lovely really and have been supporting each other through a difficult year of TTC :D

SuzySheepSmellsNice · 04/02/2013 21:00

Best of luck to you all, and to the OP :)

pigletmania · 04/02/2013 21:22

Yes you all are lovely, miss the bus threads on conceiving section. I might see who's on the 2013 bus Grin

RubyrooUK · 04/02/2013 21:32

Sorry you felt hurt MrsB. But as you can see from the responses to this thread, nobody meant to hurt your feelings. Some people from the BFP 2013 thread have even come along to explain the reception you got.

If you post in pregnancy and so on, lots of people will be very excited for you. And the very very lovely thing about Mumsnet is that if you have any problems or worries in your pregnancy or future fertility problems, there is also lots of support here for you.

OneHandFlapping · 04/02/2013 21:48

Well I'm sorry you got a telling off on this thread as well as the other one.The other one is understandable, and some of the people have come on here and been very nice.

Other people just think they're the thread police.

florry88 · 04/02/2013 21:52

seems to me all concerned have explained they are happy, end of. why do others wade in with crass insensitivity?

Icelollycraving · 04/02/2013 21:58

The ladies who have come on from that thread to post have shown,I don't know,such respect & care that I hope you can move on from the shine being taken off your good news. Congratulations Thanks

ledkr · 04/02/2013 22:17

Very lovely posts from the thread how nice of you all. I wish you all the best for successfully conceiving.

twinklestar2 · 04/02/2013 22:48

Thx all for your best wishes :)

RedRobin1 · 04/02/2013 22:49

Thanks everyone Smile

Londonmrss · 04/02/2013 22:54

Ah you lot from the original thread seem like a nice lot. I'm a bit nosy so popped on your ttc thread to see what the fuss was about (how does it feel to be famous?) and frankly I would have been supremely pissed off with the announcement from the poster of this thread- I'm sure its not what you want to hear and you could have been a lot less polite. However this poster obviously didn't mean to be insensitive. Does seem a bit ott to respond with an aibu.

Ladies, I really hope you get what you want very soon and congratulations to the poster of this thread.

Original poster
MrsBlackcar · 04/02/2013 23:29

Hi

I apologise for any annoyance felt, should have read the posts (think as well I got confused here)

Shouldn't have started a post here - though that ideally didn't know till today.

I also apologise for my crassness towards the people in that thread most were very nice and all were polite. I will add I have also apologised there as caused some drama there.

So lesson learned and will try and be more sensitive in my excitement

OP posts:
ThreeWheelsGood · 05/02/2013 00:31

There is a pregnancy board for people who have conceived. I thought it went without saying that the conception board is for people ttc. But anyhoo...

Congratulations OP!

ledkr · 05/02/2013 07:16

Start or join a ante natal club thread. We are still all "friends" two years later and it was a great help during my pg.

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHopeful · 05/02/2013 07:43

Hi mrsB thanks for accepting our apology.

Congrats again. I remember my BFP when pregnant with dd, it's a great feeling. Hope you are still on cloud 9.

SunshineOutdoors · 05/02/2013 07:45

Hi mrsb honestly don't worry about it. Now everyone's apologised and nobody meant to hurt anyone (I mean both you and people on the ttc thread). I'd just forget about it and enjoy your happy news Smile

Don't be put off mumsnet, it's great for support.

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