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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

about this meal?

37 replies

Bogeyface · 27/01/2013 17:44

If you know someone really doesnt like or cant eat some foods, and then you make a big thing out of cooking them dinner, you shouldnt make a meal where 2 of the (very few) things they dont like form the main part of the ingredients?

I dont like peppers and cant eat onions as a) I dont like them and b) they aggravate my IBS. So H is making a meal tonight (the last time he cooked was over 2 years ago!) which is chicken with peppers and onions. Its from a cook book I bought him for Xmas (subtle Wink) and he says he is doing that because he wants to try it. Thats fine, but why not cook it for himself and freeze a couple of portions? Why cook it for both of us when I will have to leave a lot of it and he will no doubt sulk.

I havent said what I think, which is if you are making a big thing out of cooking a special meal for someone, you should try and cook what they like and what they can eat? I wouldnt cook say chicken in cream sauce for someone with a dairy intolerance!

Or AIBU and should just be grateful that he is cooking at all?

OP posts:
mellowcat · 27/01/2013 17:46

YANBU

Groovee · 27/01/2013 17:46

I think he's being really insensitive if he is cooking it for you both when you are unable to have most of it.

malteserzz · 27/01/2013 17:47

Has he forgotten you can't eat them ?

Original poster
Bogeyface · 27/01/2013 17:49

He might have done, but I did remind him when he was making his shopping list which is when he said he really wanted to make that.

I really like celery soup but I rarely make it as no one else likes it but me!

OP posts:
splashymcsplash · 27/01/2013 17:49

Personally I find picky eaters rather annoying, and not eating onions makes things difficult as they are in most dishes! Maybe he thinks that you can just pick them out?

Iheartcrunchiebars · 27/01/2013 17:49

Tanbu I would just pick out everything you can't eat to remind him!!

Original poster
Bogeyface · 27/01/2013 17:50

I am annoyed by people who call an intolerance "being picky" but there you go!

OP posts:
LineRunner · 27/01/2013 17:50

It's a bit odd. I presume he knows you can't eat peppers and onions?

Have you told him yet you are looking forward to trying the chicken, and could he do you some [insert vegetable] instead of the peppers and onions please as he knows you don't eat those.

What would he do if you cooked him something that he didn't like to eat?

Original poster
Bogeyface · 27/01/2013 17:52

Incidentally I eat most foods but onions leave in great pain (anyone who has IBS will know what I mean), and I dont mind peppers in things but this has huge chunks which I am not keen on.

He is far far pickier than me! He wont eat mashed potato, who doesnt like mashed potato ffs?! But he likes colcannon.....Hmm

OP posts:
LineRunner · 27/01/2013 17:53

IBS is awful. My friend has it. It can put her in a lot of physical pain. She's the least precious person I know and it's totally genuine, and it embarrasses her (probably because she suspects people think she's fussing).

Original poster
Bogeyface · 27/01/2013 17:53

What would he do if you cooked him something that he didn't like to eat?

Sulk, do without and make a big deal of being hungry or making toast Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
Bogeyface · 27/01/2013 17:54

Forgot to say, he will eat mash on cottage pie but not on its own with mince!

OP posts:
Goldmandra · 27/01/2013 17:55

Maybe it looks different from his point of view.

You cook for both of you and (quite reasonably) leave out things you can't tolerate. That's fine. It wouldn't be reasonable for him to expect you to cook those things.

Today he is cooking and really fancies something with those things in. It would seem like a good opportunity to have them.

You are right that as he barely ever cooks this is pretty inconsiderate. He'd be kinder if he cooked something nice for both of you a few times before making something only he likes but perhaps he is really craving it.

LineRunner · 27/01/2013 17:55

Jacket potato in the microwave? That would be all right with chicken in desperate times.

Original poster
Bogeyface · 27/01/2013 17:56

You cook for both of you and (quite reasonably) leave out things you can't tolerate. That's fine. It wouldn't be reasonable for him to expect you to cook those things.

I dont though. I cook the "normal" versions of anything with onions etc in it, and I dont eat it! I will have plain pasta instead of spag bol for instance. I dont like that they have to do without just because I suffer and I do the cooking! I think thats why I am annoyed, because I make the effort and he isnt doing.......but then, there is a theme with that.....

OP posts:
atacareercrossroads · 27/01/2013 18:08

Can't you just pick them out?

SantasHairyBollock · 27/01/2013 18:10

YANBU at all. Also got IBS, last week I ate something I like but can't tolerate and had awful stomache all night. I hate peppers too and the taste spreads through the whole dish.

I really miss being able to eat slightly spicy stuff. And can't eat baked beans even though they are lovely with an allday breakfast kind of meal- excrutiating abdo pain. I would have done you some plain chicken to have instead, the git.

Original poster
Bogeyface · 27/01/2013 18:12

Yeah I could pick them out, but I wouldnt make him a meal with things he doesnt like so why would he do that "for" me?

OP posts:
Purple2012 · 27/01/2013 18:13

Having an intolerance is not the same as being picky. I love red onions but I can't eat them as they make me nauseous afterwards. I also like hot cross buns but the spices in them make me feel the same way. People don't just say they can't eat something for fun.

There's food I don't particularly like but could eat if it was put in front of me, but there are a couple of things I just can't eat - pineapple and tomatoes. I would throw up.

Original poster
Bogeyface · 27/01/2013 18:13

My worst one is that I cant eat chips without suffering, and I love a good chip butty!

OP posts:
Original poster
Bogeyface · 27/01/2013 18:16

I think the problem is that some people, and I know a few myself, imply that they have an intolerance "Oh I cant eat green vegetables" when actually they just dont like it. The woman I know who is genuinely allergic to Chlorophyll and really cant eat anything green, gets called fussy when she isnt!

OP posts:
TheSecondComing · 27/01/2013 18:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NippyDrips · 27/01/2013 18:19

Yanbu. Dp hates lamb so we never have it. I love lamb and miss it a lot but wouldn't cook something he doesn't like. I wouldn't expect him to then cook something I don't like.

DeepRedBetty · 27/01/2013 18:19

yy bogeyface. There does seem to be a pseudo science food intolerance industry which is doing no favours to those of us who have genuine allergies and intolerances.

boodles · 27/01/2013 18:22

Yanbu, in my opinion. If you cook for someone day in, day out for years then on the one day off they give you they cook something that you can't eat then I think that is off. I think I would be cooking lots of celery soup and mash with every thing.

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