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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

about this meal?

37 replies

Bogeyface · 27/01/2013 17:44

If you know someone really doesnt like or cant eat some foods, and then you make a big thing out of cooking them dinner, you shouldnt make a meal where 2 of the (very few) things they dont like form the main part of the ingredients?

I dont like peppers and cant eat onions as a) I dont like them and b) they aggravate my IBS. So H is making a meal tonight (the last time he cooked was over 2 years ago!) which is chicken with peppers and onions. Its from a cook book I bought him for Xmas (subtle Wink) and he says he is doing that because he wants to try it. Thats fine, but why not cook it for himself and freeze a couple of portions? Why cook it for both of us when I will have to leave a lot of it and he will no doubt sulk.

I havent said what I think, which is if you are making a big thing out of cooking a special meal for someone, you should try and cook what they like and what they can eat? I wouldnt cook say chicken in cream sauce for someone with a dairy intolerance!

Or AIBU and should just be grateful that he is cooking at all?

OP posts:
MrsKoala · 27/01/2013 18:23

i think it's not very nice of him and i would be annoyed and make a point of not eating any of it and make myself beans on toast.

he will eat mash on cottage pie but not on its own with mince!

Would people really serve a plate of mince and some mash on the side? Sorry, but i wouldn't eat that either!

DeepRedBetty · 27/01/2013 18:23

And what a massive pita intolerance to onion must be! (Tries to think of a recipe without it...)

Goldmandra · 27/01/2013 18:42

I dont though. I cook the "normal" versions of anything with onions etc in it, and I dont eat it! I will have plain pasta instead of spag bol for instance. I dont like that they have to do without just because I suffer and I do the cooking! I think thats why I am annoyed, because I make the effort and he isnt doing.......but then, there is a theme with that.....

In that case you are a lot nicer than me and definitely not being unreasonable!

Original poster
Bogeyface · 27/01/2013 18:44

Mrs my mum used to, I loathed it :o

I really could face making the pie up once, so I dished up the meat part of the pie (with the carrots etc) and plopped the mash on top. He thought it had once been pie so ate it with no complaints! I was just pointing out that the only difference between the two is that it has been in the oven for a bit. The ingredients are the same, and that, to me, is picky!

OP posts:
Original poster
Bogeyface · 27/01/2013 18:45

Deep I can get away with a bit, well cooked and shredded very finely (think half a small onion in a stock pot full of casserole) but thats hardly worth it! Big chunks I cant eat at all and raw onion.....dont go there!

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Original poster
Bogeyface · 27/01/2013 18:47

couldnt face making the pie up.

OP posts:
DontmindifIdo · 27/01/2013 18:51

OP - I think you need to tell him not to bother plating any up for you as you can't eat it. You reminded him when he was sorting his shopping list so he knows.

Really, don't even bother messing about picking bits out.

BTW - why have you let him get away without cooking for 2 years???? Why haven't you tried saying "it's your turn to cook, I can't eat onions and peppers remember." at least a couple of times a week?

MrsKoala · 27/01/2013 18:52

Ha! I wouldn't eat it either. Don't know why, but i think visually i would need the browned mash on the top, otherwise it sounds a bit sloppy soup kitcheny to me. I'm not fussy about how food tastes as much as how it is presented.

Original poster
Bogeyface · 27/01/2013 18:56

Dont cooking is what I like to do at the end of the day. I get the kitchen to myself, I listen to my music and I really enjoy it. I am fighting the urge to interfere at the moment, he is in MY territory! But since he lost his job he has been getting bored and mentioned cooking a few times so I bought him the book to help with that.

I will eat the chicken and potatoes and leave the rest, he will know why and when he cooks again, as he will next week, I will make a point of saying that he needs to think about what we can all eat, just as I do.

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Original poster
Bogeyface · 27/01/2013 18:57

Also, his work hours meant that he couldnt feasibly cook for us, and as I say, it is my "end of a long day" relaxation period!

OP posts:
Allinonebucket · 27/01/2013 20:06

I can't really fathom a reason why I would choose to cook something for my wife that she couldn't eat without causing her stomach ache. It's just stupid!
Especially when you reminded him. He sounds very selfish actually. I wouldn't eat any of it if I were you. I'd order a takeaway.

Original poster
Bogeyface · 27/01/2013 20:10

I ate the chicken, which was nice and left the rest. He definitely noticed and his face fell a bit but he didnt say a word. I dont know what he expected, but I rather suspect he will listen next time Wink

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