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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to replace my shampoo with something unexpected

153 replies

HystericalBallads · 26/01/2013 00:31

Have NCed as I'm feeling a bit paranoid about this.

I'm pretty certain that our cleaner has been taking showers and using my toiletries. She has been coming for 3 hours a week since September, she's my first cleaner and I've been very happy with the level of cleaning.

I thought I was imagining things at first, but every day or so after she'd been I started to notice that my shower gel and shampoo had depleted slightly. After a while of doubting myself I made tiny marks on my bottles and lo and behold, they had definitely been used.

There is nobody else in the household who could have used them - DS has his own bathroom and DH knows better than to use my toiletries.

I don't know what to do. I am tempted to put something unexpected in one of the bottles, WIBU to put some veet in the shampoo?

OP posts:

AgentZigzag · 26/01/2013 00:34

I'm sure there must be easier ways of going about this like setting up a CCTV system in the bathroom asking her?

Down to brass tacks, you don't trust her.

Time to get another cleaner?

cocoachannel · 26/01/2013 00:36

I'd question DH first. Mine may know that certain products are mine but if its the easiest thing to grab in the shower, liberal use of anything will occur.

Do you think she is actually showering at your house then. Is it so dirty she needs to do so before she leaves ?

ThePathanKhansWitch · 26/01/2013 00:38

Perhaps she cleans and showers?
Unless it was massively expensive, it wouldn,t bother me, I would give her her own towel.
Perhaps she doesn,t have access to hot water, you woukdn,t begrudge a bit of hot water and shampoo/gel, would you.
I do understand you being annoyed if its in paid time.

Ullena · 26/01/2013 00:40

Is she adding a few drops of shampoo to the bleach when cleaning to make it smell extra nice? Or is it maybe just evaporating as liquids tend to?

AKissIsNotAContract · 26/01/2013 00:44

How would you notice this?

Original poster

HystericalBallads · 26/01/2013 00:44

It definitely isn't DH, we've had words about him using my products many years ago and he really does know better.

If it were Radox perhaps I wouldn't care as much, but it's bleeding Philosophy shower gel and Jo Malone shampoo ffs.

OP posts:

JaambaJuice · 26/01/2013 00:45

What about your conditioner?

Original poster

HystericalBallads · 26/01/2013 00:46

Funnily enough my conditioner has remained intact.

OP posts:

ThePathanKhansWitch · 26/01/2013 00:47

Ask her, if you don,t mind tell her to bring her own, if you do, ask her to stop or dismiss her.

lollilou · 26/01/2013 07:48

Some people do use a drop of shampoo as a cleaner it is a detergent. I have done it if the cleaning stuff is downstairs. I would think it would be unusual for a cleaner to shower in your home. Could you ask her outright?

Fairylea · 26/01/2013 07:56

I'd just ask her. And if the rest of her cleaning is good I'd probably ignore it.

Maybe she needs to go somewhere straight afterwards and fancies a quick shower? Yep of course she should ask and bring her own stuff but I'd hardly think it worth such extreme suspicion etc.

Fairylea · 26/01/2013 07:57

Also you say your ds has his own shower... is he a teenager? Maybe he's been sneaking a girl in and she's been pinching some of your stuff to shower with?

DuchessFanny · 26/01/2013 08:03

Check with DH first, you never know ... It's just my DH knows I'll go mad if he uses my much pricier girlie stuff to his supermarket brand anti - dandruff (!) but that hasn't stopped him in the past ( bastard the fact conditioner wasn't used would be a give away for me as I know men don't tend to use it and I've never met a woman who doesn't iyswim ?

I could be wrong , and if so definitely just ask her x

Emilythornesbff · 26/01/2013 08:12

It seems odd that someone might just decant a small amount of shampoo each time they clean.
I bet it's your DH. If he reliably denies this then just secrete the products on cleaning days. All conflict avoided and issue swept under the carpet, just how I like it.

StuntGirl · 26/01/2013 08:18

YWBVU to put veet in it

HecateWhoopass · 26/01/2013 08:23

Are you sure she's not using the shampoo/shower gel to clean the bath?

If she was using it for herself, wouldn't she be conditioning it too?

I do. I have a cheap shampoo just for this purpose.

It brings it up beautifully. and it doesn't have that horrible film that gets left behind from bathroom cleaners.

Or she might be grubby and a bit sweaty after cleaning for 3 hours and freshens up a bit.

Why not just keep your shampoo & shower gel in your bedroom drawer and just take it with you when you go to shower? Then whoever is using it for whatever purpose - can't. Maybe leave a cheap one in there instead.

And yes, I know, why should you have to - well, because you don't want the stuff used and that's the easiest way to achieve that

Yogagirl17 · 26/01/2013 08:24

i had a friend who discovered her cleaner was dying her hair when she came to the house to clean! I'd be pretty unhappy if a cleaner was showering in my house without asking me if it was ok. But Veet is probably a bit extreme! Why don't you just put the expensive stuff away somehere on the days you know she is coming?

Fayrazzled · 26/01/2013 08:27

I can't believe you'd actually notice the shampoo and shower gel level changing. You could be mis-marking it as the contents settle further. Wouldn't a wet towel be a bigger clue or is it drying before you get home? You seem a bit obsessed with your products- your husband wouldn't dare touch them because you told him not to yeas ago. Really? I'd check again with him before you throw accusations at the cleaner.

Even if she is having a shower is it that big a deal? Maybe she hasn't got access to a shower at the moment? I'd leaver a towel out and a bottle of bog standard shampoo/ shower gel if the products use is a deal breaker.

MrsMushroom · 26/01/2013 08:32

Ffs this isnt' 1843....all this talk of catching cleaners out....just tell her not to! As for it being expensive...sorry but I wouldn't know Jo Malone from Vosene! She's probably using it to wipe the shower.

KhallDrogo · 26/01/2013 08:36

I think you are imagining it. The amount you use for 1 shower/hair wash, wouldn't fall below a mark on the bottle you freak unless your bottles are like a cm diameter and 3 foot tall

MrsMushroom · 26/01/2013 08:36

Yes and what Fayrazzled said. Surely she'd leave a used towel behind. And her not having access to a shower was my first thought too...some people live in accommodation which isn't perfect. Just ask her if the though of her proletarian body in your shower is too upsetting.

Yogagirl17 · 26/01/2013 08:39

I'm actually really surprised at everyone who has asked if it's really such a big deal if the cleaner is showering in the OP's home. Honestly, I'd be fuming and probably sack her immediately. And it's nothing to do with being precious about my shower, it's about trust. I'm trusting this person to be in my home when I'm not there and to do a job. If it turns out she's also showering and using my shampoo and not telling me this then I can't trust her in my house. Period. If she doesn't have access to a decent shower at home then she should ask if it's ok.

But agree the OP should ask her DH, ask the cleaner and/or hide the expensive shampoo rather than replace it with something nasty.

DreamingOfTheMaldives · 26/01/2013 08:40

Don't the majority of women tend to use conditioner too; men don't tend to bother. I bet it's your husband

whiteflame · 26/01/2013 08:42

Well, if the cleaner was having a shower in my place, purely for the sake of having a shower, I wouldn't like it. It's not the OPs issue whether she has access to a shower/feels dirty after work. Would it be ok for her to make a sandwich too, because after all she might not have a kitchen, or might be hungry after cleaning?

But that aside, I really doubt she's just having a shower. Is your shower some weird, awkward shape where the only way to clean it is to be inside with it on? We had a shower like this once. Does the cleaner have short hair? Unless it's really short, not using the conditioner seems strange.

MrsMushroom · 26/01/2013 08:43

Yoga she could be doing it after she's finished her work. she could be embarrassed to ask permission. Why fume?

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