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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to replace my shampoo with something unexpected

153 replies

HystericalBallads · 26/01/2013 00:31

Have NCed as I'm feeling a bit paranoid about this.

I'm pretty certain that our cleaner has been taking showers and using my toiletries. She has been coming for 3 hours a week since September, she's my first cleaner and I've been very happy with the level of cleaning.

I thought I was imagining things at first, but every day or so after she'd been I started to notice that my shower gel and shampoo had depleted slightly. After a while of doubting myself I made tiny marks on my bottles and lo and behold, they had definitely been used.

There is nobody else in the household who could have used them - DS has his own bathroom and DH knows better than to use my toiletries.

I don't know what to do. I am tempted to put something unexpected in one of the bottles, WIBU to put some veet in the shampoo?

OP posts:
LadyBeagleEyes · 26/01/2013 12:42

FFS, just ask her.
Putting dye or veet in the bottles, are you serious?
I'm starting to have huge doubts about this thread now, I can't believe anybody would be so childish and mean spirited.

DawnOfTheDee · 26/01/2013 12:42

I don't think your DH is going to like having pink hair...Wink

BubblegumPie · 26/01/2013 12:43
Hmm

Just ask her OP! don't fanny around trying to catch her out and humiliate her.
IF she is using your shower, it's likely that it's because of some hardship and she's too embarrassed to ask.
I understand that you're pissed off that she hasn't asked your permission but surely you can see that putting dye in the bottle is a really immature and nasty way of dealing with this?

Willabywallaby · 26/01/2013 12:52

And I was a bit Hmm this week because my cleaner used my hairbrush.

DreamsTurnToGoldDust · 26/01/2013 12:54

Putting something in the bottle? That'd be great if she had an allergy, very clever Hmm

catladycourtney1 · 26/01/2013 12:59

Someone else has mentioned it, but my first thought re putting Veet/bleach/dye in it would be that you would end up in very serious trouble if she is using your shower. In the same vein as burglars who sue homeowners when they trip over things or whatever. Plus it might be innapropriate and an abuse of trust, but you can just sack her, you've no right to wreck her hair.

I would say, move your expensive products out of the bathroom first. Of course you shouldn't HAVE to, but it will save her using them up for whatever reason. Plus then, she might realise that you're onto her. If it is her and she is using your shower, I would imagine that she either has problems with her own shower, or is going somewhere after work and is too embarrassed to ask your permission.

My advice would be just to ask if she is using your shampoo to clean with, and ask her not to since it's expensive (personally I wouldn't know the difference, so its definitely possible that she doesn't). Or even leave a note, stick it to the bottle or something? If you don't want to confront her.

reastie · 26/01/2013 12:59

dream but if she wasn't showering it wouldn't be an issue if she had an allergy would it!

willaby Hmm that is a bit Hmm

HopeForTheBest · 26/01/2013 13:02

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on request of its author.

DreamsTurnToGoldDust · 26/01/2013 13:02

Sorry don't understand reastie, if she was showering and op put something in the bottle that many people are allergic to, that would be alright?

reastie · 26/01/2013 13:05

dream I wasn't thinking bleach/very nasty substances that many people are allergic to, I was thinking you were saying if she were allergic to a substance that most people have no problems with, say, palmolive shower gel (or a substance in it). The cleaner IBU by showering without asking OP (if she is that is) and so it wouldn't be OPs fault if she had an allergic reaction to palmolive (or whatever) through using it. I'm not saying put bleach in it!

HopeForTheBest · 26/01/2013 13:29

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on request of its author.

KhallDrogo · 26/01/2013 13:35

Putting Very or dye in the bottle is humiliating and abhorrent. A cheeky shower Palestine into insignificance compared to what you plan to do. You sound like a nasty piece of work

KhallDrogo · 26/01/2013 13:36

Pales, pales not Palestine!

Original poster
HystericalBallads · 26/01/2013 13:37

I take on board what people are saying about not putting something unexpected in the shampoo. I don't think I would have ever done that anyway, I just feel so affronted at it all and it was a knee jerk reaction.

If she does have allergies she's been taking a risk using my things though, like some of you have said, there could be something else in there anyway. I might have decanted Alberto Balsam into my Jo Malone bottle and how would she know?

Argh. Obviously I need to confront her, but I'm worried she'll just deny it.

OP posts:
SouthernComforts · 26/01/2013 13:39

Alfrex, is that you?

Seriously though, you DH and your cleaner are alone together and one/both need a shower before she leaves.. you've got bigger problems here.

Original poster
HystericalBallads · 26/01/2013 13:42

DH hasn't been there whilst she's been cleaning / taking liberties. It was just an idea that he could be at home one day.

OP posts:
MusicalEndorphins · 26/01/2013 13:46

No OP, please don't do it. Hair dye could blind her. I think you should just ask her, or try and catch her in the act. A small audio recorder hidden in the bathroom would let you know if someone is using your shower.

Or simply hire someone else and let her go, if you don't trust her.

Pandemoniaa · 26/01/2013 14:02

Is she eating the porridge too?

Seriously, I think it is completely bonkers to consider ruining your own, expensive, shampoo by putting hair dye in it. Apart from the sheer waste of money (surely a more costly option than the loss of a little shampoo in the first place?) it would be far more sensible to speak to her directly than it would be to treat her like an errant parlourmaid.

Yogagirl17 · 26/01/2013 14:02

I would just do the following:

1)Keep the expensive stuff away out of site

2)Ask the cleaner if she's using it. It doesn't have to be a "confrontation", just say you noticed it was getting used up and wondered if she'd used it for some reason. If you still don't 100% trust her then you have to get a new cleaner. You can't have someone in your home that you don't trust.

diddl · 26/01/2013 14:05

Why would she take a shower though-& risk being caught??

The one time I washed my hair whilst nannying the mum came home unexpectedly & "caught" me.

As it was, one of my charges had thrown sand & we all had sand in our hair so I had done all of us.

ThinkAboutItOnBoxingDay · 26/01/2013 14:11

My cleaner nicks my cleaning stuff to use at other houses. I keep buying those good microfiber cloths and miracle erasers and they just disappear. I ask her about it and she denies it!

Can't complain though as she is generally lovely and bought DD caviar when we started to wean her!

MurderOfGoths · 26/01/2013 14:11

If you are upset about her using your expensive products why on earth would you then waste them by putting dye in them?!

Dear god, I never realised I'd be so offended by the idea of wasting expensive products! Shock

NearMissAgain · 26/01/2013 14:11

We fired a cleaner after she drank a bottle of our gin.

Hobbitation · 26/01/2013 14:17

I'd arrange to come home one time when she is cleaning.

KhallDrogo · 26/01/2013 14:19

Or she might deny it, because sues not doing it! Hmm

You just have to fire her. You're not going to believe her anyway, if you ever manage to muster the humility to actually speak to her, that is

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