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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not like DD going to sleepovers

48 replies

bigbadbarry · 25/01/2013 18:37

Because I miss her! DDs 2 and 3 are here causing chaos as usual, but I just like everybody here tucked up safe. I am pathetic ;)

OP posts:
exoticfruits · 25/01/2013 18:54

YANBU to feel it-just unreasonable if you let her know.

Original poster
bigbadbarry · 25/01/2013 18:56

Absolutely not! I send her off with a big smile and tell her to have fun.

OP posts:
freddiefrog · 25/01/2013 18:58

I don't like it either.

One DD is 11, other one 7, and I still like to tuck them in every night so I can check they're all warm and cozy

I never stop them going and they always have fun but I like them to be all warm and safe at home Blush

Unreasonable and irrational Grin

Fleecy · 25/01/2013 19:13

I'm the same. My older two are 6 and 4 and they sometimes sleep over at my parents, PIL, Dsis, SIL's etc but I miss them. Give DD2 extra cuddles when they're not here Smile

andtheycalleditbunnylove · 25/01/2013 20:18

why would your daughter sleep away from home?

my mum (probably an abused child) was absolutely rigid that everyone had to come home for sleep.

lilackaty · 25/01/2013 20:20

I don't dislike it but the house does feel weird if one of them isn't here.
So YANBU.

SummerRainIsADistantMemory · 25/01/2013 20:22

Oh god. I love it. My long term goal is for all three of them to be gone on the same night Blush

No such luck tonight, ds1s friend has only just left and dds bf is staying over. All four kids are piled on the couch with nintendos and tablets and dp is hiding upstairs.

LifeIsBetterInFlipFlops · 25/01/2013 20:24

YANBU..I hate going to bed and seeing his door open and bed empty. I don't stop him going though.

seeker · 25/01/2013 20:26

I'm the same about dd and she's 17! I like everyone home and safe before I go to bed.

OK to feel it, not OK to say it. Or not often anyway...........

CreepyLittleBat · 25/01/2013 20:29

Just refuse if you don't like it. I have made it clear to all and sundry that I don't DO sleepovers (mainly because I don't want to reciprocate...or come to think of it, deal with tired and grumpy kids the next day) and the kids are cool with that. If there's a sleepover party, I let them stay out late then collect them before bedtime. Nobody complains.

HollyBerryBush · 25/01/2013 20:31

Nothing like dispatching the kiddiewinks and having some quality time with your DH - no interruptions Grin

Original poster
bigbadbarry · 25/01/2013 20:33

I can see the attraction of them all going at once! But no quality time here, it's the quiet one who is out :) creepy I let her go because she loves it.

OP posts:
SummerRainIsADistantMemory · 25/01/2013 20:33

Holly Grin

I do miss noisy 'quality time' Wink

TomArchersSausage · 25/01/2013 20:36

Ah yes going up to bed and seeing their room and bed all dark and empty...

Then I think of the lie in and cheer upGrin.

Then I remember that 'sleepover at friends' means 'rematch at ours'. Aargh!

HollyBerryBush · 25/01/2013 20:42

Believe me - you won't miss 'quality' time when they hit 17 .... Grin

seeker · 25/01/2013 20:52

You get fantastic quality time when they are 17! Trouble is, it tends to be at 2 in the morning.............

seeker · 25/01/2013 20:54

Ah, just realised what sort of "quality time" you meant! Blush

Morning after they've all gone to school is best for that. One of you does the school run, the other makes the bed all lovely.........

GoldPlatedNineDoors · 25/01/2013 20:55

What you want to do is arrange for them all to be at a sleepover on the sane night.

Bliss.

freddiefrog · 25/01/2013 20:58

I never manage to get them all out at the same time.

DD1 is at a sleepover, our FC is on a contact weekend but DD2 didn't want to sleepover despite an invite. I can't even watch Silent Witness as I'm being bored shitless with Disney DVDs we're having 'movie night'

NanaNina · 25/01/2013 21:00

I am just happy that my dear grdghtr is invited to sleep overs and goes. She is 13 in April and was always a shy child and wouldn't even go to birthday parties until she was about 10. I thought she would miss out on all the fun of sleepovers but her parents and me are delighted that she feels independent enough to go to parties and sleepovers (also proves she's popular too) so that's another plus!

sukysue · 25/01/2013 21:01

yanbu imho! When we had our 2 dds I vowed that we would never have any child for sleepovers and that ours wouldnever go on one. I did this partially cos I didn't want them exposed to ppl who may abuse them and partly cos I didn't want to babysit for others.

Original poster
bigbadbarry · 25/01/2013 21:04

I'm quite confident she hasn't gone off to be abused! She is staying with her best friend, whose mum is one of my best friends! There are 6 children.

OP posts:
2kidsintow · 25/01/2013 21:05

I don't do sleepovers. I know that there are lots of people who think you are depriving your children if you don't let them.

If my DDs are invited to a sleepover and I know the family well, then I won't stop them going, but I don't reciprocate with another sleepover. They have been allowed to invite the same friend on a day out with us instead, but my DH doesn't like the idea of being responsible for other people's children and I like my sleep.

seeker · 25/01/2013 21:10

". I did this partially cos I didn't want them exposed to ppl who may abuse them and partly cos I didn't want to babysit for others."

What a profoundly depressing point of view!

sukysue · 25/01/2013 21:14

No you see seeker I am a paeds nurse who sees far more neglect and abuse than I care to tell you about and it does somewhat cloud ones judgement when u have seen what I have .