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Original poster

To HATE my husband's thick orange beard???

132 replies

SplitHeadGirl · 19/01/2013 19:44

My husband has grown a really thick beard that covers half his face and completely covers his mouth. He has gone from being gorgeous (like a young Richard Armitage) to looking like a scruffy, unkempt pensioner who has had a really hard life!

I told him weeks ago (stubble stage) that as it was his face, he could of course grow a beard, whatever he wanted and I would support him. BUT....I hadn't counted on how it has affected my physical feelings about him. I find him unattractive and strange to look at, like I don't know him. :( I miss the face I fell in love with.

He is a lot grumpier now too and as he now looks older he has started to ACT older and I wonder if losing his young looks (he could easily get them back if he shaved that damn thing off his face) has made him lose his young personality.

I am cross with myself as I KNOW it is just facial hair and I would hate it if he didn't find me attractive anymore for some stupid physical reason. He has even joined a beard forum (a beard board) where he and a bunch of other guys post pics of themselves and support and encourage each other's beard growth!!!!

Shouldn't I just get over it??? I feel like I am being unreasonable...but I hate that I can't see his beautiful face anymore and that he has changed so much and I hate that I don't find him attractive like this.:(

OP posts:
TomHardysPinky · 20/01/2013 15:47

I love beards, my DH has one, I love it. If he came down stairs clean shaven I would probably cry, genuinely.

oh baby, yesss!

TomHardysPinky · 20/01/2013 15:49

PS when he first grew it I didn't like it, it was tickly and I didn't like the hairs going near my mouth, but now I love it, maybe give it some time?

TomHardysPinky · 20/01/2013 15:50

wow, ive just read the thread, so much beard hate??

They are so sexy!!

fussychica · 20/01/2013 15:51

DH usually has a stubble growth these days and I like it but not sure how I'd feel about a full beard. OP think you must tell him if it's a real turn off.

Once went out with a 6ft 4in great looking guy with a full beard - I do wonder if he would have been as good looking without but I never found outGrin

thegreylady · 20/01/2013 16:05

My dh has a big bushy white beard and I love it :)
At Christmas small children think he is santa in mufti !

aquashiv · 20/01/2013 17:40

I would say there is something comforting about a beard - a scarf for the chin. I would let him get on with it you can hire him out next December.

Helgicita · 20/01/2013 19:22

I love my DH's beard! I realise now that I have always been attracted to men with beards they seem more masculine somehow. His beard is rather unruly at times, it looks better when he's given it a trim, and he's got a bit of grey in it now too but phwoooorr he's gorgeous. He had it when I met him, at the age of 22 so I've never known him clean shaven. The reason for the beard: Why shave if you don't have to!

Lueji · 20/01/2013 19:32

Does he look like this?

www.listal.com/viewimage/2450205h

You can send him my way. :)

SminkoPinko · 20/01/2013 19:40

Full on father christmas type beards in any colour are utterly horrible and wrong. It shouldn't be a matter of his face his choice either. Faces can be seen be everyone and pogonophobia is rife so it is a public health issue. He must shave it off.

DizzyHoneyBee · 20/01/2013 19:57

gross, all those bits of food stuck in it. Withdraw favours until it has gone...or LTB (sorry, couldn't resist!) Wink
I hope he gets rid of it soon.

milkandribena · 20/01/2013 20:26

I really don't like beards. Tell him OP just tell him

Now I love stubble, just love it but never ever a beard

expatinscotland · 20/01/2013 20:50

Gross. No, I don't do facial hair on men.

Original poster
SplitHeadGirl · 20/01/2013 21:03

Wow everyone thank you so much for all the great replies!!! I was laughing out loud at them - it cheered me up no end!! :)

I have decided to take the advice and tell him at the first real opportunity that I just CANNOT like the beard. More than that - I loathe, detest and abhor it!! I hate that it is so wiry and orange (he has beautiful shiny conker-brown head on his head yet his beard is JUST like pubes like a poster said!!).

I was thinking about not shaving and letting myself go a bit haha, and seeing what he said...but going by past history, he never seems to think I look bad even when I DO. I wish I was like him that way. :(

I think the most irritating part for me is that he is doing this NOW, after years of knowing each other, and it is out of the blue and I had no idea he ever wanted to do this and change himself. I just want him back how he was.

The thing is, I sometimes do like beards (on older men with broad sort of faces) and made the mistake of telling him that - but his looks shocking!!

He even has a 'beardspiration' (as he calls it) - a singer called Michael McDonald. He sits watching his videos on Youtube, admiring his beard!!!!! It's crazy!!

OP posts:
comelywenchlywoo · 20/01/2013 21:05

I like DH's beard. When he shaves it off he looks like he's twelve and stubbles me to death. When he has a beard it's soft and manly (if that's possible).

When he was working on the boats for six weeks he came back rather captain birdseye (but brown/ginger), but when it's trimmed neatish it's hot!

I feel for you OP, there's no easy option. If you were a bloke saying you no longer found your missus attractive as she'd put on weight I'd be horrified, but on the otherhand you can't help how you feel. Shame you can't do a course on "learning to live with beards" or "beard appreciation - part one"

FYI I wouldn't bother not shaving until he shaves if I were you. Does anyone's DH really care if she's shaved her legs or not as long as he's getting some? Maybe that's just my DH Blush

AKissIsNotAContract · 20/01/2013 21:07

Jeremy Piven is on now as Mr Selfridge for all you fellow beard lovers :)

comelywenchlywoo · 20/01/2013 21:09

oh cross posts OP - I see our DHs are indeed alike!

He watches youtube vids of beards? Shock He needs help Wink

P.s him watching beardy vids is nothing like me googling Emilia Fox last night to see her hair....no not at all......

mrscumberbatch · 20/01/2013 21:48

My DP participates in the Beard and Moustache Championships. It's serious stuff!!

He is also brown of hair and ginger of beard. I like the way he looks- but I couldn't bear the way that it felt on my face.

So.... miracle product reveal time: beardwash and conditioner. It's apparently formulated specially for beards and gets rid of the pubic feeling and leaves it shiny and bouncy lol.

Has worked wonders here OP, so at least if he won't abandon the beard get him to tame it!!!

mrscumberbatch · 20/01/2013 21:49

Seems to be every man's beardy pinup. It's all very odd.

SminkoPinko · 20/01/2013 22:03

That Jack Passion beard is disgusting. [vomit] I once had training from someone with extreme fingernails which she never cut. They were about a foot long, curling in hideous spirals and vile in the same way as a full facial beard.

mrscumberbatch · 20/01/2013 22:14

You can't compare gnarly fingernails to a beard.

Having a beard doesn't affect your ability to wipe your arse.... gnarly fingernails do!

Thumbwitch · 21/01/2013 04:58

DH grew a tache once. It made him look like a used-car salesman.
He grew a goatee once - it made him look gay.
Then he went the whole hog and grew a beard - he looked like David Bellamy but without the matching hair.

I coped with the tache, it amused me.
I hated the goatee (so did he)
I couldn't stand the beard, but luckily he shaved it off after a few days of hot July weather (he'd grown it while in Australia, in winter, and we had a hot July when he came over to visit) Grin

I sympathise, OP - your DH is being a bit selfish because it's not just about him, is it - and it's not something he can do nothing about either. DH now tends to not shave every day, and I don't like the stubble because it grates; but he won't shave more just because I say so. I can live with that - but if he insisted on being stubbly all the time I'd be a bit pissed off with him.

I like beards on some men though, they can look very attractive. Just not on DH (perpendicular-to-the-skin bristly hair growth)

cheeseandpineapple · 21/01/2013 08:13

Maybe he's inspired by Richard Armitage more than you think..

collider.com/richard-armitage-the-hobbit-interview/205430/

cheeseandpineapple · 21/01/2013 08:14

Hoping this links directly...

collider.com/richard-armitage-the-hobbit-interview/205430/

WhoeverHeardOfAWormskinRug · 21/01/2013 09:35

You have my sympathy... my DP has grown a disgusting bushy moustache over the past year. He looks like my dad. HUGE turn off.

I've gone from dropping hints to referring to it as a monstrosity. I can't kiss him, it's horrible. We haven't kissed for about a year!

He's gone from being a tattooed, handsome bass player - to a hairy, pipe smoking clone of my dad!

LexiLoganberryBump · 21/01/2013 09:36

I love my dh beard, althought it is a neat well kept short stubble one, he does shave it off every so often just to freshen up his face and he looks really weird, without it his face looks really big, that sounds terrible doesn't it.

I don't like bushy beards, but my dh wouldn't of kept it if he knew I hated it.