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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my dh is tight

38 replies

rubberglove · 25/12/2012 18:36

My dh was raving on about how he was going to treat me this year. I got a Kindle from his mum and dad, which he contributed to but it was labelled from them.

Now I am delighted with a Kindle and I think his parents are lovely to buy the bulk of it for me. But I do not think my dh has 'spoilt' me in any way. He earns a good wage, he could have bought it himself.

Yet he always has plenty to spend on wineHmm

OP posts:
hermioneweasley · 25/12/2012 18:37

If you are married his wages are family money, so if there's something you want, buy it.

ImperialBlether · 25/12/2012 18:39

Oh come on, Hermione, that's not what Christmas is about, having to buy your own presents!

OP, did you buy him something? Did he used to buy you Christmas presents?

jessjessjess · 25/12/2012 18:39

Did he buy you anything else?

Original poster
rubberglove · 25/12/2012 18:40

No, nothing else. Bah humbug.

Kids had a great day though, main thing.

OP posts:
jessjessjess · 25/12/2012 18:47

Yanbu. That is tight.

expatinscotland · 25/12/2012 18:49

He's thoughtless and tight.

NervousReindeer · 25/12/2012 18:50

I think you've earned a great sales shopping spree Xmas Grin --with his credit card]

cocoachannel · 25/12/2012 18:54

If there's no financial reason than YANBU - that's tight.

Could there be a surprise later?

JustFabulous · 25/12/2012 18:54

For me, it isn't the fact he chipped in for a present he could have bought outright himself it is the lack of effort. Presumably his parents bought the Kindle or ordered it for delivery. What did he actually do other than give them some money?

LauriesFairyonthetreeeatsCake · 25/12/2012 19:00

Yes, he's tight.

Original poster
rubberglove · 25/12/2012 19:02

Nothing just fabulous. They ordered it, wrapped it and labelled it, from them. He said just after I opened it, and must add was delighted, that he had contributed a little towards it.

OP posts:
JugsMcGee · 25/12/2012 19:03

It's not even about the money, I don't think that earning a good wage means you need to buy expensive presents. It's the lack of effort that would be upsetting.

CatchingMockingbirds · 25/12/2012 19:04

Did he get you anything else?

Original poster
rubberglove · 25/12/2012 19:06

No neither do I jugsMcgee. I don't expect exspensive presents. Just something about this has hurt my feelings.

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 25/12/2012 19:12

I don't blame you, rubberglove. I don't believe he actually contributed towards it, tbh. It sounds to me as though he forgot to get anything and persuaded his mum to let that present be from him, too.

What did you get him?

hermioneweasley · 25/12/2012 19:25

Sorry, I thought the point was that financially he they could afford more, but he chooses to spend it n his hobbies. If she said "is DH a lazy/selfish prick?". I would have agreed.

blueshoes · 25/12/2012 19:43

Is he tight with his affection?

whois · 25/12/2012 19:52

The amount of posts on here from women being all upset cos they didn't manage to inform their DP in advance, that actually the fists weren't about the actual item, but are en emotional reflection of their love and thought and failure to produce the perfect gift will result in harbouring resentment for decades.

Grip. Seriously. Loads of people don't see the point in gift giving to adults who are perfectly capable of buying something they want themselves. Christmas presents are really more for kids. If you need your DP to reassure you of his love via a gift then things aren't cool.

jessjessjess · 25/12/2012 21:22

"Loads of people don't see the point in gift giving to adults who are perfectly capable of buying something they want themselves"

I for one am glad I'm not in a relationship with one of those people.

NervousReindeer · 25/12/2012 21:25

I completely agree with you jess

Arisbottle · 25/12/2012 21:26

My husband doesn't really do gifts for me and he is far from tight.

If I wanted something I wood buy it for myself.

ZenNudist · 25/12/2012 21:30

Whois I'm with you that it's a bit pointless buying gifts for adults. You never get them exactly what they want and if they tell you what they want it's not much if a gift is it? BUT I think OP's dh is tight. He shouldn't have tried to get in on his parent's present. I suppose if he had said lets get her x as its too expensive for one person to buy that would be reasonable.

How much do you usually spend on Christmas pressies? What did you get him?

Festivedidi · 25/12/2012 21:31

We don't really do much in the way of presents for each other, but we do make a bit of an effort (me more than him I think). We've bought practical presents this year but they've been thought about.

I would have been a bit upset if dp hadn't bought me anything himself. Chocolate featured quite heavily in my presents this year but at least he went to the shop and thought about what I might like, and chocolate is usually a good choice for me Xmas Grin.

JustFabulous · 25/12/2012 21:31

I have loved giving my DH his presents today. All of which he was capable of buying for himself but that is not the point. Giving a gift is a lovely thing to be able to do. DH has enjoyed receiving them. He wouldn't have bought the majority of them for himself but loves them all.

jessjessjess · 25/12/2012 21:35

But the fun is surely in having someone else do something for you and the anticipation of receiving it. Sure I could buy stuff for myself but really appreciated DH doing so. How boring and miserly I would feel if we never bought anything for each other.