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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you shag Santa?

37 replies

SomeTiggyPudding · 24/12/2012 22:47

And what would he be like?

Would he go "Ho Ho Ho"?

Would he empty his sack in your stockings?

Would you give him a mince pie afterwards to say thank you?

Yes, I know this thread is very unreasonable and definitely unseasonable. I just wondered.

OP posts:
ZebraInHiding · 24/12/2012 22:49

Yes. But only because in thus house, Santa is Dh. Guess that makes me Mrs Claus! :)

BigShinyBaubles · 24/12/2012 22:49

Just imagine how quick he would be!
If he can deliver all those presents in one night he must be over and done as quick as a flash in the bedroom.
I'd like to have a snuggle with him Xmas Grin

BluelightsAndSirens · 24/12/2012 22:50

I had a fleeting moment when I thought I had!

Took the DC to see Santa and he said "I know your mummy, we have met before"

DC were all ooohhhh and I'm thinking "no,surely not. You must be about 50, did I?"

He asked the DC to leave us alone and them admitted he lives down our road and recognised the DC from us walking to school/park.

Phewfuckingphew.

AgentZigzagHasABigYuleLog · 24/12/2012 22:51

Depends on what he's got in his sack for me.

GilmoursPillow · 24/12/2012 22:52

If Santa was DH or Felix Baumgartner then yes. If it's a fat stranger in a red suit and a white beard, then no.

Leverette · 24/12/2012 22:52

This reply has been deleted

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SantasHoHoHo · 24/12/2012 22:53

You all ought to hang your head in shame!

poocatcherchampion · 24/12/2012 22:56

Santa is my dad here so I'm going with no.

SomeTiggyPudding · 24/12/2012 22:57

Do you think his winkie looks like a candy cane?

OP posts:
scaevola · 24/12/2012 23:01

DH has a FC costume. So I think I may be about to find out Xmas Grin

KatyPeril · 24/12/2012 23:02

Yes. Sadly though, I'm not sure there's many I'd turn down.

apostrophethesnowman · 24/12/2012 23:04

ohhhh you're all sick!

SomeTiggyPudding · 24/12/2012 23:04

I wouldn't. I don't do guys with beards. The most I would do is give him a blow job in the sleigh.

OP posts:
oopsiforgot · 24/12/2012 23:05

Oh my God, what is wrong with me?? I definitely would!!! Blush but not some random shopping centre fake bearded bloke, only the REAL one.

TheSecretSantaDNCOP · 24/12/2012 23:06

I saw mummy sucking Santa off
Underneath the mistletoe tonight...

WankinginaWinterWonderland · 24/12/2012 23:08

No way!! I cried one year in a local shop... so the Santa took his beard off .. it was my Grandad Xmas Blush Xmas Confused

WankinginaWinterWonderland · 24/12/2012 23:09

The one in town though.... [thinks] Yeah I would jump his bones!

LauriesFairyonthetreeeatsCake · 24/12/2012 23:10

Yes, dh is currently wearing his Santas sack thong.

WankinginaWinterWonderland · 24/12/2012 23:10

minge pie for afters if he was lucky thank you to SantaDNCOP for that one knew I could use it somewhere

TheCortanaThatStoleChristmas · 24/12/2012 23:11

I am jealous of you scaevola, I have been dropping hints that DP should get a Santa costume. Xmas Wink

SomeTiggyPudding · 24/12/2012 23:12

When Santa got fucked up the chimney
He began to shout:
"You girl or boy, take your dick or that toy
And quickly pull it out!"

OP posts:
CatPussRoastingOnAnOpenFire · 24/12/2012 23:14

Oh dear! Grin

SantaIAmSoFuckingRock · 24/12/2012 23:14

the question is "would he want me to?" Grin

ShiftyFades · 24/12/2012 23:15

Ewwww, white haired, bearded, fat old man? Not a chance, never, not even when I'm grey Er, old Er and plumper than I already am!!

How on earth am I going to sleep with this thought in my head now? Sad

DioneTheDiabolist · 24/12/2012 23:17

In a heartbeat!

He's only the totally most famous and best bloke ever. My mates are all really impressed with my current BF, if I shagged Santa, they'd probably spontaneously combust.Grin. And I like facial hair on a man.

My BF wouldn't be impressed though. His dad is Santa.Xmas Blush

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