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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be late to school?

33 replies

FauxFox · 14/12/2012 08:46

DD is a pain to get ready every. single. morning. I have to cajole, shout, remind, time etc and i'm done.

I'm tired, it's pissing with rain, I don't care anymore!

We should have got in the car 10 mins ago.

She is in Year 3 (7 y.o) and this will be our first time in the late book.

We will go but we will be late - AIBU?

OP posts:
DuchessofMalfi · 14/12/2012 08:51

Will she learn from this? My DD is a day-dreamer, completely unaware of time passing, so would mean nothing to her :o. Hence she has to be cajoled, chivvied along every day, reminded to finish her breakfast, clean her teeth, get her hair brushed, etc etc, otherwise we'd be late every day.

FireOverBethlehem · 14/12/2012 09:00

If it happens again, stick everything in the car at the right time and take her as she is dressed at that time. My DS is younger, and at nursery, but he's also gone with no shoes / coat because he's been faffing around.

BeckAndCallWithBoughsOfHolly · 14/12/2012 09:03

Well, it's your job to stand over her and make sure she gets it done! She's 7, not 17. She obviously hasn't learned the skill of getting ready yet so you need to try something different. But I'm afraid you can't just give in because it pisses you off.

TobyLerone · 14/12/2012 09:05

Get up earlier.

Jingleallthejay · 14/12/2012 09:06

maybe the late book will give her a jolt ime children don't like getting in trouble at school I did this once years ago with dd2 she was a pain in the bum she was never late again, there is only so much shouting cajoling we can do ,

CwtchesAndCuddles · 14/12/2012 09:09

Sorry op - it sounds like you have a normal 7 year old just like mine!

Get up erlier, you are the parent you can't just decide to not do it anymore!!!

Whistlingwaves · 14/12/2012 09:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
FauxFox · 14/12/2012 09:26

She got there at 9.05.

She might learn something from it Grin

I won't be making a habit of it but I think it's probably worth her realising that she is the one affected and she's actually getting ready for her own benefit rather than doing me a massive favour Xmas Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
FauxFox · 14/12/2012 09:28

whistling I feel your pain Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
FauxFox · 14/12/2012 09:29

Beck I don't agree. she is capable of getting ready but chooses not to - she is '7 not 17' but also 7 not 3 fgs!

OP posts:
Jingleallthejay · 14/12/2012 09:30

I won't be making a habit of it but I think it's probably worth her realising that she is the one affected and she's actually getting ready for her own benefit rather than doing me a massive favour

I agree with you and she is 7 not 3 hope it works you can go back to roaring like a loon on monday Xmas Grin

Jingleallthejay · 14/12/2012 09:30

ut also 7 not 3 fgs!

oh xpost

diddl · 14/12/2012 09:31

What´s the alternative to going in late-a day off??

I´d let her be late for as many times as it takes tbh.

If everything is ready & she just isn´t doing what she should when she should-despite being told-perhaps she´ll learn that her (in)actions have consequences!

BluelightsAndSirens · 14/12/2012 09:31

I'm giving you this advice as someone who gets 3 primary girls ready for school,

Get everything ready the night before.

We come home from school, they empty their lunch boxes, put any school letter they want signed next to the microwave and then putbtheir shoes, coat and bag away and get changed into their pj's (love the cold weather pj excuse)

After homework and then dinner I check the uniform they have taken off and if I can get another day out of any item I take that and then get what else is needed from their wardrobe.

Lay the whole uniform on the dining room table, coat first then scarf, gloves hat, the jumper, shirt, skirt, tights, knickers and shoes on the floor under the table next to their book bag.

Find the brush and bobble box and put that on the table along with baby wipes for last minute snot duty.

Do the same for your own outfit, you don't have to lay it out next to your clean knickers and bra, just know exactly what you are wearing and note where your shoes and coat are of you don't keep them in one place.

Make lunchboxes up and store In The fridge.

Get cereal bowls, cup for your tea with tea bag and sugar in on the side in the kitchen.

Get up 15 minutes before DC and have a cup of tea, sign school letters and sort any money needed to go into school and then start to get ready, get DC up and give them breakfast NO TV - NO TV! IPAD! PHONE UNLESS COMPLETLY READY.

Ahem, that one is Realy important.

Breakfast, wash, dress, hair.
Coats and shoes and snotty nose check.

Set a time limit for each step, 5 minutes to have a wash and then bring your clothes up and we can get dressed togeather etc.

Leave for school.

Repeat 5 days a week for 39 weeks of the year.

Jingleallthejay · 14/12/2012 09:33

I am a huge believer in actions and reactions I have older children and have always taught about consequences from a young age , it does sink in eventually

Justforlaughs · 14/12/2012 09:43

Get everything ready the night before, no telly until she's done it, no telly in the morning until she's dressed and completely ready, no breakfast until she's dressed etc. Maybe some form of reward f she does it everyday for a week. You've only got a week until end of term, so ideal New Years Resolution for both of you!

Original poster
FauxFox · 14/12/2012 09:47

Thanks blue but it's not organisation that's the issue. I wake her at 7.30 and lay her clothes out, make sure she gets up then nag her to get dressed with the aim of her coming down at 8am ready. Then she has breakfast (that I get for her), brush teeth, coat out the door at 8.30.

All she has to do is get dressed, eat, scrub teeth. In an hour. That's all. and we never have TV etc before school.

OP posts:
MrsFlibble · 14/12/2012 09:49

My 5 yr old also takes forever to get dressed, its frustrating, i've even said to her i'll take her to school, in her knickers if she didnt hurry up.

manicinsomniac · 14/12/2012 09:53

^^
does it work?
When I was 14 I told my cousin that I'd take him to the park naked if he didn't hurry up. He beamed and waited by the door starkers shouting "naked park go! go!" repeatedly.

Taught me a very early lesson about not making threats I can't go through with! Xmas Grin

scottishmummy · 14/12/2012 09:57

why are you so chaotic and ditzy?why is it daily chaos
if it's a pantomime daily clearly you're not getting it right
lay stuff out night before,enact sanctions if not dressed,praise if dressed.get up earlier

FrustratedSycamoreSnowflake · 14/12/2012 10:00

I have a 7yo(year 2) and a 5yo (5yo with autism). We have never been late to school. We get up an hour before we have to leave the house. I get 5yo ready so 7yo has to do things for herself. I cannot run around after her in the morning, she will get her uniform and get dressed, wash, teeth, hair, breakfast (etc). If she forgets something she needs for school she deals with the consequences (She doesn't forget things, she doesn't like her teacher telling her off).

Yanbu, I see no reason why a yr3 child cannot get themself ready in time.

WinterWinds · 14/12/2012 10:05

DD used to be like this every morning despite having an hour and a half to get sorted before we had to leave!!!

When she wouldnt get ready i told her that she would have to explain to the headteacher herself that she was late because she was arsing around and i would not cover for her.

She soon realised i was serious and didn't want to get into trouble with the head and got her arse into gear and gets ready with no messing now.

girliefriend · 14/12/2012 10:06

YADNBU as I was also 5 mins late getting my 6yo dd into school this morning Grin

What is ridiculous is that mon to wed when I have to be at work for 9am dd is up and out the door by 8.15am however on thus and fri it is virtually impossible to get her out the door before 8.45am Confused Grin

Original poster
FauxFox · 14/12/2012 10:06

How rude scottish! I am not chaotic and ditzy. I get up at 6ish because DS is usually up then and short of dressing her myself I do everything to ensure she has all she needs and enough time to get ready.

As I said above all she has to do is get dressed, eat, scrub teeth. In an hour. That's all. and we never have TV etc before school.

Thanks frustrated DS has ASD (he's 7 too) and he gets himself ready in about 15 minutes flat. He's completely ready to go before DD has her pants on most mornings and gets no more help than I give her!

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 14/12/2012 10:10

shout,cajole a 7yo.that's chaotic
7yo unable to complete tasks without shout ,cajole.that's chaotic
fact that's it's a daily hoo haa that's chaotic

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