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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To never make a round of tea at work

30 replies

helpineedajob · 20/11/2012 20:49

I started a new office job 4 weeks ago, in my old job no one made rounds of tea. Here they do, the department has 10 people (when everyone is in) and they will all make rounds (with junior members making most rounds ).

When asked if I want a drink I always say no. I dont drink tea or coffee and will just get a water when i want one. Not everyone will have a hot drink in a round sometimes they will just have a water too.

So AIBU/rude/anti social not to join in the rounds?

OP posts:
PuggyMum · 20/11/2012 20:51

My DH is the same. Doesn't drink tea or coffee at work.

YANBU but I would maybe make one a week to make an effort for your colleagues.

Fakebook · 20/11/2012 20:57

Oh my God, I HATED this at my last job. One person would make tea fr everyone at the same bloody time everyday...it was like a school break time. I used to get so pissed off with it and my manager got pissed off with me because I never made tea for everyone. It was all very passive aggressive and very uncomfortable.

DIYapprentice · 20/11/2012 20:57

YANBU, but you are being a bit anti social. If that's the way the office works, then you should do these small things to fit in. It's not that hard, surely?

Fakebook · 20/11/2012 20:58

Sorry, yanbu btw. Join in with them some days but if you don't want to make the tea then don't. Especially if you don't drink it!

DontmindifIdo · 20/11/2012 21:00

YABU - you are a newbie, just do one round a week - it's not a big thing but it shows you are one of the team. Honestly, keep it up until you've passed your probationary at least.

Whyriskit · 20/11/2012 21:00

It wouldn't occur to me to do it. It's a big office, we do a job which takes us away from our desks so there are often few people in, I don't drink tea or coffee!

bluejeans · 20/11/2012 21:00

YANBU I don't drink tea or coffee at work and there's no way I'd get involved in making it for other people, why would you? Never occurred to me I might be thought of as anti social.

SlightlySuperiorPeasant · 20/11/2012 21:01

YANBU. Everyone should get their own drinks.

Declutterbug · 20/11/2012 21:03

It's the small things that oil the cogs at work. Up to you to choose whether to be the cheerful smiley friendly person prepared to help out, return favours, makes small talk and get along nicely, or the one who chooses to be stand-of fish and sit alone at their desk. Once upon a time I would have agreed with you, but these days I realise that the world turns on social niceties and kindness costs nothing Smile. I would join in, at least some of the time.

ImperialStateKnickers · 20/11/2012 21:03

Yanbu, but if you ever start having a drink of anything other than water you'll have to join in.

Anyone given you any filthy looks yet at tea time? Grin

Petershadow · 20/11/2012 21:07

I used to love making the tea

I think it would be nice of you to offer, maybe to get involved, friendly etc, but I don't think anyone would think badly of you for not offering

TwitchyTail · 20/11/2012 21:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

helpineedajob · 20/11/2012 21:09

If it was one round a day it wouldnt be so bad but it must be at least 5 rounds a day.

Imperial I dont like tea or coffee and dont think that will change

I haven't noticed any filthy looks but I think two of the men might be thinking it

OP posts:
QOD · 20/11/2012 21:10

We have a "tea club"

If you ain't in it, you don't get one and you don't make one

Katisha · 20/11/2012 21:15

I have always hated tea rounds. LArgely because of the washing up. Our work kitchen is horrible and has a skanky washing up sponge which rarely gets changed etc.
So I prefer to keep my own mug and just give it a clean (without the skanky thing) myself and not get involved with anyone else. Or their washing up.

FryOneFatManic · 20/11/2012 21:15

I used to work on an office where a tea round could be anything from 15 to 20 cups! It got to be a joke remembering everyone's preferences so one day one bright spark came in with a few of those colour paint charts, the ones that were different shades of the same colour. This person brought in some cards all in different shades of brown, stuck them on a big sheet of paper and people wrote tea/coffee, no of sugars, name etc against the colour that represented how they liked their drink (eg milky, a little milk, no milk).

It was on the wall of the office kitchen for ages.

mumof4sons · 20/11/2012 21:17

I once got written up in a performance management review that I didn't make enough tea or coffee for the people in the office. There were only 4 of us, and at the time I didn't drink tea or coffee, and the other 3 should have had intravenous drips of the stuff.

When I mentioned this to my 2 immediate colleagues, they said 'but you don't drink tea or coffee, why would you make it!'

My manager was a cow, she had to come up with something to write me up about.

PuppyMonkey · 20/11/2012 21:21

YANBU to join in the tea clique if you don't drink tea. But YABU to not drink tea. What were you, dragged up?Wink

Alisvolatpropiis · 20/11/2012 21:25

YANBU - I had exactly the same thing in my last job. I don't drink tea or coffee,they all did. I did pay in to the tea fund which doubled as a booze fund though. As boss was a wanker who wouldn't buy us drinks,none at all,at work do's.

Someone did once comment on my never making tea and coffe. I pointed out they never asked me if I wanted a drink when doing the round. After that they did offer and I did make the odd round thereafter. But I'd actually been there a while by then.

Tryharder · 20/11/2012 21:26

YABU. It wouldn't hurt you to show willing now and then. It's called "being polite and getting on with people"!

CaptainVonTrapp · 20/11/2012 21:27

YANBU. How many times do you have to tell them 'I don't drink tea or coffee'?

Surely people on here aren't suggesting you should pretend to drink tea just to fit in with the weird behaviour in a new office. You can still be polite and pleasant and probablly get a lot more done

Hydrophilic · 20/11/2012 21:27

I hate it! I don't want to spend hours guessing how milky people want their tea. It would increase productivity if everyone just nipped into the kitchen to make their own.

Frawli · 20/11/2012 21:28

If you don't drink tea or coffee why would you make it? It's completely reasonable not to. There are people in my office who don't drink tea/coffee and I would never expect them to make me a cuppa. In fact, I would feel uncomfortable about putting them to the bother if they're not having one for themselves.

I wouldn't bother making one unless you're making yourself a cuppa soup, or a hot choc or something, and then you could offer to do a round.

helpineedajob · 20/11/2012 21:28

puppymonkey it has no reflection on how i was brought up, my family are tea drinkers, my nana used to put tea with 2 sugars in my uncles bottles Grin

OP posts:
Alisvolatpropiis · 20/11/2012 21:29

Also in my old office,making tea for 8 people seemed to take the better part of an hour quite often. Hmm

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