Not broody - will it come to me?

[Beaverfeaver]

I'm 27 and married.

Not yet feeling broody whilst all my friends have been for years.

Will it come to me?

When did it come to you?

When I was 38.

When I hit 35 earlier this year.

Unfortunately as my mother so endearingly puts it, I make "bad man choices" and I'm unlikely to ever have children.

I believe it may, I swore blind that I didn't want DCs until I was 25, and diagnosed with endometriosis. nothing like being told your chances are slim to make you broody I'm now pg with DC3. Which is shocking when you think that 10years ago I didn't want any.

I wasn't broody at all when I was with DH and got married. Dd was a pleasant surprise and definitely not planned when I was 23. 2 years later I actually yearned for another baby. I had DS at the start of the year and was 28.

I've never been broody , but I have 2 children .

It crept up on me slowly during my late 20s. I had DS when I was 32.

Not sure it did. I felt aware that being a mother might not happen and I didn't like the idea of missing out on something that I might at a later point want. But broody? no. I was actually so many sea miles beyond terrified when I saw the blue line. I made a bad man choice and my children's father is the bad man. That aint something you can fix afterwards. 35 is young to be certain you've missed out on motherhood I think.

I was 32. Before then I assumed I'd have children someday, but I wasn't that bothered about it and didn't feel like I was in any sort of rush.

I've never been that bothered about babies though. I love my own, but I'm not the sort of person that's always dying to have a cuddle of any passing newborn.

I agree with flora
Never been broody
Got 3dcs

Forgot yanbu

It might or it might not - pleanty of people have children either as a choice or by accident, not because of a desperate "urge" for them. And others don't have children, either because it doesn't happen or they choose not to, or circumstances are not conducive to it. Don't worry about it too much!

Personally I never had any interest in DC until a year or so after getting married, at which point I felt very broody. I was 26.

OTOH my sister was broody from about puberty onwards, but wasn't in a situation where it worked out until she was into her 30s.

I never felt broody - a chance comment to a locum doctor and she kicked me up the arse put me forward for fertility treatment, then IVF.

I am so glad she did and will be eternally grateful that I got to experience motherhood. I cannot tell you how much I love my daughter. But I NEVER - not for one second - felt broody. I was quite old, too!! ( had DD at 39) Some people just don't do broody, I guess. Doesn't mean you wouldn't make a great mum!

It didn't until recently. I am now 38 with 3 Dcs youngest is 2.5.

Only broody now as I realise not having more.

Got married at 22 and had DD at 29. Decided practically no point in waiting to be broody....

What's to be unreasonable about?

Not everyone feels broody.

You can make the decision to have children with your head or with your heart. And by heart I mean irrational feeling that you must have children even though realistically it might not make your life better but it will get rid of the broody feeling

I had DS1 when I was 33 and DH 36. He had been broody for years and i wasn't remotely interested in having kids at that point. I agreed to try for a baby because i knew that i wanted to have a family eventually, i just wasn't particularly keen on babies or pregnancy or any of the faff! I decided that i was very unlikely to become broody for a few more years, by which time it might be too late. So i embarked on pregnancy feeling very ambivalent about the whole thing. Well, DS1 is now 15 months and I'm 5 months pregnant with DC2! And i completely adore my little boy, he has brought untold joy to our lives.

So to cut a very long story short, you might never get 'broody', but if you see children in your future then maybe see it as a more practical decision based on your age, stage of life etc...

I don't currently think that having children will necessarily improve my life, in the short term or the long term.

But DP and I have an understanding that if either of us feels broody (his brother was the one to feel broody, not his SIL) then we will talk about it: not bottle it up and hide it, but also not assume that the feeing of broodyness means that we therefore must have a baby immediately.

DH married me knowing I didn't want (and therefore wouldn't have) children. Changed my mind at 35 (after 6 years of marriage), but didn't get broody till after I had my twins. Two is enough for us, broodiness now is just annoying.

I genuinely never know what people mean when they say they are broody - I can understand when someone says they plan to have children, or want to have children, but broodiness seems to be something more intense and irrational than that, no...?

To go back to your question, OP - it never hit me at all. My partner and I decided to have a baby because we thought it might be nice, and we were running out of time. But no desperate desire to have one. We would have been equally happy not to.

Didn't ever, really. I was always determined I wasn't going to have children. Then I decided that I would probably regret not having one, more than having one. So had one. Then had another to keep him company.

Never felt the baby-madness though.

I've never been really broody - after dh and I decided we wanted a child, and especially after my first miscarriage, I really, really wanted it to happen. But I've never been a cuddler/cooer over babies, and apart from ds, I think I've only ever held 3 or 4 babies in my life.

Never been broody. Have an unplanned ds, whom I adore but I never really saw myself having dc and chose not to have any more. Agree with Peevish who said that broodiness seems very intense and irrational - driven by biological urges and often leading to dc being born in poor circumstances. You should feel glad that you're able to make your decisions regarding having a family sensibly, which might not be possible if you were overtaken by hormones.

I think it really depends what you mean!. I know of alot of women who say they have a yearning for a baby, to hold it, they talk of the smell of babies, the excitement of pregnancy. They have a longing. I have NEVER had that.
What i have had is a desire for a child - and that sounds stupid because obviously a child is a larger baby but i mean i want an extra person in my family rather than just a baby which is what most people seem to talk about when they say "broody".
DH and i said at the start of the relationship that we would love 6 children, and thats sort of been the plan all the way through rather than feeling broody.
hopefully that makes sense!.

I disagree Trills, the decision to have a baby should never be just a 'Head' thing as unconditional love cannot be rationalised in that way. Above everything a child needs unconditional love, there is no substitute for it.

That sums up my own feelings quite nicely, 5dcs, thank you.

I don't want a baby but I have a desperate urge to be a mother and to have children as part of my future.