Not broody - will it come to me?

[Beaverfeaver]

I'm 27 and married.

Not yet feeling broody whilst all my friends have been for years.

Will it come to me?

When did it come to you?

Thanks all.

I gess I just worry as I know I want children in my future, but not right now.

And although I have plenty of time now, worry that it runs out fast and by time I get round to feeling broody or wanting that change in our lives that I might have left it too late and then struggle

Never been broody I have a 7 yr old ds and in 18 weeks pregnant, some people do get broody some don't. I can't coo over other people's babies but I love mine so much

The "Unconditional love" thing happens to people who did not plan to have a baby at all but had one anyway, so why shouldn't it happen to people who think "I think "I'd quite like to have a child" rather than people who feel "I must have a baby"?

Was sure I didn't want children until I was about 37. Then DH had fertility problems so have one IVF child who's 4 and a natural pregnancy ending in MC. Would have loved another child but at 44 it isn't likely.

I'm not sure there's ever a right time to have a child- there's problems/disadvantages whenever you decide to go for it.

when I was about 15. I spent the following 14 years looking for a suitable candidate for co-parenting, what a relief to finally find one!

I definitely know women who didn't and don't want children and are very happy with partners/cats/jobs/artistries etc. Some of those people just prefer their lifestyle without a kid in it. (even at least one who spends all her time working with other people's kids)
It seems likely on balance that not everyone is a baby kind of person and just as well really or we'd be running out of space even sooner

Dp got broody last week. He just turned 29.

I never felt remotely broody. Remained distinctly ambivalent about having children at all right up to (and in fact beyond) the point when dd was born (I was 39). Now I love her more than life itself. I think broodiness is something people will themselves to feel. (Or not).

Unless you are a chicken then no. However you might decide at some point you would like children, no rush. :)

Never felt broody. Wasn't even sure I was cut out to be a parent until my PFB was born six weeks ago.

I love him more than anything and within a week of having him I asked DH if he thought we could manage six DCs!

I always wanted kids,but never felt really broody in the way some women do.
(I have 2).My friend,on the other hand,who never even liked kids,got hit by a crazy broodiness literally overnight as she hit 30 (and had a baby within a year).

The 'unconditional love thing* makes it sound like a frivolous notion but it is fundamental to being a good parent it is much more important than 'sensible' decisions about Income, current status of your career before maternity leave etc. These questions should be asked but they are not enough to be a good parent.

If your thoughts are, 'I'd quite like to have a child' it can still be heartfelt- I'm not talking about being 'broody' but if that decision is purely driven by a rational breakdown of your circumstances equating to practical needs being met for a child then I think it is a gamble. It is an artificial formula that is being applied to a situation that is going to demand much more of you than practical needs being met. The risk therefore of deciding to have children based on what your head says is that all of the unconditional love is yet to come and how about if it doesn't?

My MIL tells me frequently how she never was 'broody' and never wanted children. She tells me this a lot in front of my DP and my DP's brother. She also adds that often she preferred her husband's company. She is saying it for attention mainly and in a lighthearted way but I know that my DP is very resentful of her attitude and her 'honesty' has created more distance than closeness. She has a few conditions with the level of support she will provide. My DP often calls her 'selfish' although on the face of it they have had a very good life, I think he thinks there is something lacking and it is the 'unconditional' love. So yes, I think it is a risk having children when the decision is ruled by your head. Ideally, it needs to be both.

Quesadilla, why do you think it's something people will themselves, because you never felt that intensity it can't be true? There are lots of things people have experienced that I haven't but it doesn't mean they have made these experiences up.

When DH and I got married, he knew that I didn't want children. After 14 years, I decided it may be quite nice to have one.
After all that time trying not to have a baby, I had 8 or 9 MCs - including a 22 week one. DH was more upset than me. He was beyond pleased when I changed my mind.
I found out I had PCOS and an incompetent cervix. I did have some fertility treatment, it didn't work and we accepted our childless state and move abroad.
I found out I was pregnant 5 weeks later. It was completely unexpected.
The pregnancy itself was foul. I loathed the feel of her moving about.
She is 11 now. I never wanted another and we are quite happy in our little unit.

Goldenbear I'm not saying that the feelings aren't true, I just meant that broodiness is something which I think the conditions have to be there for. For a long period of my life I thought I probably wouldn't have children: for various reasons (focus on my career, lack of a suitable partner, lack of money) I resigned myself to it not happening and didn't really allow myself to feel broody, I suppose. In large part that's because my parents guided me towards career fulfilment rather than parenthood and I sort of felt parenthood wasn't for me. I think if you're brought up to see being a parent as an ultimate goal you probably are more disposed to "broodiness."

Not till last year. I knew DH really wanted children and I did too, in an abstract sort of way, so when we got married a few years ago we started ttc and DD followed quite quickly.

It was only through having her that I became broody for DC2 . DD is so wonderful, and I'm really happy that we're due to have her baby brother or sister very soon - maybe this week

I'm 33 and have never been broody. I wasn't even thinking about kids when I was 27.

I don't think that you have to be broody to want kids either.

I've never been broody.

I've got 2 children.

I always liked the idea of having a child, but not crazy over babies (only ever held 3) Had my first experience of feeling "broody" this weekend holding a 4 month old. An actual physical longing. Knocked me sideways. I'm 33 and get married next year. Already agreed to TTC straight away. I always thought "broodiness" was almost a manufactured feeling!

Im not broody, I didnt even want children. However I am 25 wks pregnant with a planned baby, we figured it was the right time for us to give it a go. I couldnt be happier to be having a baby but im not broody, and Ive never really liked babies. I do love the idea of being a mum now I can feel this little one, and I wouldnt change it.
My mum is still waiting to be broody too, and im 26. I dont think broodiness making that word up is a necessity to have children

Quesadilla, my parents, especially my Father were primarily concerned with me gaining an education and ultimately having an interesting and intellectually demanding career. Not once did they mention being Grandparents or talk about having grandchildren. I suspect they thought those decisions were mine to make and they wouldn't be interested in influencing those decisions. I didn't give a thought to having children but at 28 I was struck with this overwhelming desire that I couldn't suppress. I worked with a lot of people my age and they all fault it was an accident when I told them I was pregnant. I don't think broodiness is only experienced by those with limited horizons, which is what I think you're trying to imply?

I think I'm from a rarer kind of camp

I didn't particularly want DCs but I have one, my lovely (but unplanned) DD.

Despite not wanting anymore children, I sometimes get ridiculously, annoyingly broody. My boobs swell up and get tender, I can't wait for the moment OH gets home and all I can think about are tiny teeny newborns. Happened before DD arrived and is still happening occasionally now.

In reality I actually dislike baby smell and I'm also terrified of picking up something like norovirus off of the miniature germbags

I was about 32 when I got broody. I'd been married a couple of years and suddenly I felt ready to try for a baby. It kept creeping into my thoughts when I was busy doing something else. It happened again when DS1 was about 2.5 years old. But some people never feel it.

I've never been broody, in fact I've spent my life with quite a dislike for kids, I even asked to be sterilised at 21.

I'm now 37, pregnant with my first and spend a lot of my time very anxious that my maternal instincts will never kick in. It's a planned pregnancy and the reason I decided to have one was that I was worried that I'd regret NOT having one more than I may regret having one and time was ticking by plus everyone assures me it's different when it's your own, it's not that I want a baby more like I wanted a daughter/son.

Ideally she'd be born aged about 10 because babies scare the crap out of me, I have the ability to make one cry from 50 paces and I'm dreading toddler tantrums. Fortunately DH has the patience of a saint and is a wonderful Dad to his 9 year old son.

Dogsmom - I am much the same. My maternal instincts never really have kicked in but I've managed to keep my much loved daughter alive and well for eight years now!

One big difference since having my child is that I will happily hold babies, when previously I ran screaming from them.