Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get married as cheaply and quickly as we can

79 replies

PuddleCheeks · 12/11/2012 12:21

Me and DP have been together nearly 7 years and although we're engaged, having 2 DCs we never pushed to get married, with the expense etc
Any way... My mum has been ill for a while, she has a rare blood disorder she was born with called Diamond blackfan. She's been having tests recently and although its come back that its NOT lukemia she has a condition that is pre-lukemia MDS and its just a waiting game of when it will become Lukemia.
so me and DP want to get married asap while she's still well enough. does any one have advice on how to get married cheaply and Quickly?

Sorry if this post is in the wrong place.

OP posts:
BreeVanDerTramp · 12/11/2012 12:24

Registry office, two witnesses and a quiet pub meal after for close family?

Depends what your after and budget, groupon have had deals in my area recently, full package for 60 guests around £1000?

Hope your mum gets on ok.

StripyMagicDragon · 12/11/2012 12:24

register office, small number of guests, ebay dress and outfits, local hall with dj and buffet for reception. just look around and haggle, it can be cheaper than you think.

mrskeithrichards · 12/11/2012 12:26

Ah bless you Flowers

Registry office then meal somewhere with just your folks then party? Most halls are free, hundred for a disco then family can sort out buffet?

EBay is your friend for dresses and extras!

Original poster
PuddleCheeks · 12/11/2012 12:26

we have a figure of around £4000 but cheaper the better without being a registry office. i want it to be part of my 'dream' wedding, reception, evening guests etc but not sure how to do it cheaper than the average wedding that costs around £10,000 (apparently?)

thanks for reply :) x

OP posts:
mrskeithrichards · 12/11/2012 12:27

Doh Thanks

mrskeithrichards · 12/11/2012 12:28

£4k is tons! You'll be fine on that, might not be the stately home and feeding 200 but who cares?

CMOTDibbler · 12/11/2012 12:29

Everything depends on how many guests you want there - you could pop down the registry office, ask for the next possible date, then turn up with whoever can make it and go to the pub and buy a round after, and get more complex and pricey from there up.

But in terms of keeping costs down, ask your friends and family to help out - make a cake, drive you to the wedding, set up some music, lay out food you've bought from Costco, or whatever. People will be happy to help out

ShatnersBassoon · 12/11/2012 12:29

£4000 is a large budget I'd say. It's the guests that make weddings expensive, so keep the invitations to an absolute minimum and you can really go to town with what you have. Please yourselves and your immediate family and don't worry about anyone else.

StaceymReadyForNumber3 · 12/11/2012 12:29

The groupon deals look good, normally around a few thousand depending on the area. Best wishes to you your dp and you DM.

AmberSocks · 12/11/2012 12:29

I got married and spent 14k,thats not even the average spend apparently but i regret spending that much,mostly because i didnt enjoy my dayand it didnt go the way i wanted/expected it to but also because we could of spent that money on something useful that lasts longer than a day-have to say we didnt get into debt for it though which i would never do.

Is there anyone you could "use" ?Someone to make the cake,decorations,flowers even dresses?Could your parents contribute?(ours didnt!)

Original poster
PuddleCheeks · 12/11/2012 12:29

wow you all replied really quickly!! i should have maybe put it better...my mum knows i dont want a registry office, she knows sort of what i want but i dont want her to feel im doing it just because of this horrid MDS and not having my day so to speak? its really hard to put it into words. sorry im rambling on and on..

thankyou all for your replies though :) very kind xxx

OP posts:
mrskeithrichards · 12/11/2012 12:31

What about a hotel? Many do good packages!

Original poster
PuddleCheeks · 12/11/2012 12:33

i was told 4K was really tiny amount Blush

it ll be about 50 day guests at our church, but about 150 in the evening. A blooming good disco so all can have a boogie etc

it used to be all about favours, seat covers etc but now its more like a big party :)

OP posts:
GateGipsy · 12/11/2012 12:33

For £4K depending on where you in the UK ie not London, then you could get married and have reception in one hotel package.

Have you checked out the registry office though? Don't dismiss till you do. Ours was in a registry office - it was a renovated Georgian home in a park, and we had our photos in the rose garden attached to the house. Reception was a BBQ at my brother's house. Wedding gifts were contributions - to the drinks, food, one friend donated the cake, etc. It was lovely, done on a budget, and a perfect day. I would just say don't stress, keep your expectations at a level of having a lovely day with close family and friends, and it will be wonderful.

IceNoSlice · 12/11/2012 12:34

The biggest cost by far is the reception, usually!

Yy to hiring a local hall for the reception- you can then buy booze on sale or return (no corkage and they'll often lend you glasses for free) and hiring caterers / bar staff often works out cheaper than hotel packages. We paid £16 per head for a sit down 3 course meal 6 years ago. And hire a band or DJ. You will have more work to do - de orating it yourself, sourcing and setting up tables and chairs etc, but overall way cheaper.

Littlemissimpatientlovesxmas · 12/11/2012 12:35

most hotels could do a deal and are cheaper mid week.
The more guests you have for the meal the more expensive it will be. Buffet is cheaper than sit down, and if you have cake instead of pudding that will save you more. Look at m&s for ideas on cakes.
Don't rule out dress shops, some have sales or you could buy the display one, or look at monsoon and coast.
Flowers: pick in season and go for a small number of larger flowers (such as hydrangea) instead of large number of smaller ones.

SecretSparkle · 12/11/2012 12:36

Puddle Where abouts are you? and have you got an idea of the number of guests you would like to invite?

I think its lovely that you want to do it quickly so that your mother can be there but I also think its important to have the wedding that you want as these memories are going to be with you forever, and obviously your mum knows this.

Wedding dresses can be bought cheaply but still look amazing, cut down on flowers (much better alternatives) and keep table decorations simple. Also to keep things cheap when people ask what you want for your wedding ask if they wouldnt mind helping pay for various parts. You might think its being cheeky but most people love the idea. My mum bought my wedding dress as a wedding present, her partner paid for the bouquets, my Nan bought my shoes, etc etc etc

Original poster
PuddleCheeks · 12/11/2012 12:37

i'm from south wales :) our reg office is a cold looking grey building :-S

OP posts:
WaitingForMe · 12/11/2012 12:37

DH and I went to the local registry office (had the plasterer and decorator as witnesses), the next day we exchanged vows then had lunch in our favourite restaurant with 20 members of immediate family then home to a party with a tent in the garden. Could have planned it in a week (but spread it over about 10 months) and it cost about £2,000. It could easily have cost half that.

We just sat down and decided what we actually wanted/needed. I think the legal bit cost about £150 and the restaurant was £500. DH didn't wear a suit but instead bought a nice outfit from Debenhams (ditto my stepsons) and I wore a dress that cost £75. It was an amazing day and never felt cheap. My top tip for a Christmas wedding is to carry a huge bunch of mistletoe instead of a bouquet. It cost me £4 and looked fabulous.

Good luck with celebrating with your mum.

steppemum · 12/11/2012 12:37

my mums best friend had a sudden life shortening diagnosis.
He son was planning to get married in 6 months time, and they realised she wouldn't make it
They did a small family wedding at a local church in the middle of a wood. It was apparently beautiful. Just ceremony and then tea for all concerned afterwards
Later they actually repeated the wedding (presumably not the legal bit) and had the big white wedding she had always dreamed of, with reception for all family and friends

It is the food at the reception that is the killer with price (and the dress....) So if you got all your family and friends involved you could do a buffet. Someone did this at our church, one person did the menu and then asked for volunteers, we had to make the dish according to the recipe she sent out, so it was all the same, and they had a fab spread.
My friend made our wedding cake (wasn't actually very tastey, but it looke fab!)
Or look for something like a hog roast? Cheaper than a sit down served meal.

Why not get married at say 4pm, serve a cup of tea and scones after ceremony, and go straight to dinner and evening reception as one item, so no need to do food twice?

You knwo the 'dream wedding' is a red herring, the very best bit about my day was standing in the church listening to dh say his vows, the rest of the day didn't really matter, as long as everyone had food and a nice time.

BreeVanDerTramp · 12/11/2012 12:38

Friends of ours got married at 5pm to cut out the meal and just do a buffet.

Monsoon do wedding dresses, next do shoes. Hire grooms suit. I got bridesmaid dresses in monsoon sale for half price.

Have balloons instead of flowers on table, see if a friend with a nice car will drive you and decorate with a ribbon? January/February would be a really cheap month to get married I imagine and you get get lots in sales.

Don't bother with favours, make a donation to Leukaemia research instead?

Buy invites from card factory and post with Christmas cards to save on postage?

HoobleDooble · 12/11/2012 12:39

Get married later in the day and you can skip the formal sit down meal and just have the party in the evening? X

HoobleDooble · 12/11/2012 12:40

Why did I just give you a kiss?

MummytoKatie · 12/11/2012 12:40

Getting married mid-week will save you quite a bit. (Plus reduce the number of guests to those who like you enough to take time off work.)

ivanapoo · 12/11/2012 12:42

We had 120 people all day, more in eve, and everything cost about 7k, could have been much cheaper if we had fewer people (about 5k went on food and drink).

Best ways to cut costs if you can:
Keep the day a bit shorter so you only pay for one big meal
Consider a Sunday/Friday etc
Use a venue where you can supply your own booze

Decide what's really important to you and forget about everything else. We didn't bother with cars, favours, seat covers, designer clothes, fancy save-the-dates, etc. We spent time and money on having the ceremony we wanted and great food and drink.

Swipe left for the next trending thread