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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

But can't you get him something more Manly?

69 replies

RollingThunder · 31/10/2012 08:46

AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGG!!!!!!!

Where do I start?

a) I don't actually feel any need to make my TWO YEAR OLD ds manly
b) How is a cooker not Manly?
c) Dear MIL, you are being so crap about DS1's SEN, please don't start being crap about DS2 as well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OP posts:
CookingFunt · 31/10/2012 08:49

You should buy him a yorkie bar and a tool box.
Tell your MIL that he wont catch the gay from a kitchen.

SlightlySuperiorPeasant · 31/10/2012 08:49

Tell her that only wussy mummy's boys can't cook these days Wink

honeytea · 31/10/2012 08:50

Tell her men need to eat, so therefor a cooker is manly.

Or tell her you thought the cooker was manly, the other option was a pink fairy castle.

Sagelyhaunting · 31/10/2012 08:51

He is 2 FFS!

Ask your MIL how many male Michelin starred chefs she can name [hgrin]

cutegorilla · 31/10/2012 08:52

Ask her how many female ones she can name!!!

Original poster
RollingThunder · 31/10/2012 08:53

Honestly - she suggested a "tool bench!" because, at 2, thats what they really want!!!!!!!

Never mind the fact that his older brother has autism and I have just realized (to my shame) that we don't really have very many pretend play toys in the house - as DS1 never played with them.

So this Christmas is all about getting DS2 as many pretend toys as reasonable (within some kind of budget).

And i have managed to find a really nice wooden cooker that I can get at trade price, and was so pleased, and then she came out with that!

(I know this is probably drip feeding, but she is also being really crap about DS1 and his SEN, the latest (after complete denial) is that every behaviour I mention, she says, oh but they all do that!!!!!!!!)

Does she not realize that at some point this is going to damage our relationship even more?

MANLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Honest to god! What does she think its going to do it him?

OP posts:
ScaryBeardyDeadyman · 31/10/2012 08:55

I think being able to cook properly was one of the reasons my wife married me!

GoldPlatedNineDoors · 31/10/2012 08:56

A cooker is a great toy for a two year old - gender doesnt come into it. DD will be two the christmas after next and will be getting the Ikea Playkitchen (and id still be buying that if she were a he) and a toy garage.

Your MIL is being silly.

Buy him a frilly pink apron to wear with it too, purely for entertainment purposes of seeing her face when he falls in love with it.

Morgansports · 31/10/2012 08:57

Your OP reminded me of something gorgeous I'd forgotten. We got DS a play kitchen when he was tiny and he used to toddle up to us to take our 'orders'. We used to ask for cappuccinos a lot because it was so adorable to hear him making the PSHHHHHHHH sound.

By the way, He's an enormous teenager now, a wall of muscle who plays prop in his rugby team.

Your MIL sounds like she needs putting in her place. Do challenge and 'call her' on ridiculous and hurtful comments. This is your family, not hers.

MrsMangoBiscuit · 31/10/2012 08:57

Tell her it was that or [[http://compare.ebay.co.uk/like/400333374944?var=lv

SecretCermonials · 31/10/2012 08:57

My DS got a lovely kitchen for his second b'day, he is 3 and still loves it. He also likes to help in the kitchen generally! Your MIL is a fruit loop!

CookingFunt · 31/10/2012 08:58

Honey its going to be a long road for you with your MIL. Two year Olde don't know what they want.

ll31 · 31/10/2012 08:58

i understand your anger but from her point of view maybethe comments re ds1 are intended to be positive and reassuring.. I know they're not but she's hardly deliberately trying to upset you..
re kitchen , ignore ...again maybe she's vaguely worrying someone will mock him for it... mad at his age I know. sounds lovely anyway

Riddo · 31/10/2012 09:00

My DH is a much better cook than me. I second the suggestion that you point out all the famous male chefs.

ornellaia · 31/10/2012 09:01

My DS loved his play kitchen, he's 5 now and still occasionally plays with it - just often enough for me not to have put it in the loft yet. He also, now he's old enough to use them, likes tools and superheroes and other such 'manly' pursuits (as does my DD [hwink] ).

HoneyDragon · 31/10/2012 09:01

Tell her not to worry as to make manly you are going to let him watch Gordon Ramsey. He'll look so cute screaming "sizzle motherfucking bastard sausage sizzle. Fuck you Marco. Look Nanny? DONE."

Problem solved Grin

MrsKeithRichards · 31/10/2012 09:01

Ah lovely memories!

Ds1 loved his tea set but for some reason, no matter what you ordered, these was always 'none left mummy' even though everything arrived on the same empty plate!

NeedlesCuties · 31/10/2012 09:02

I bought my 2 yr old son a toy buggy once as he loved to push his teddy's around.

FIL referred to it as a "wheelchair", as clearly saying buggy = bad Hmm

Toy kitchens are cool gifts, no matter what sex the child is.

marriedinwhite · 31/10/2012 09:03

Same here as Mrs Morgansports the kitchen was the best present DS ever had. He loved it so much at playgroup; we bought him one. He's a front row lad now too.

But I did draw the line when my mum suggested buying a toy ironing board and iron for dd because it was a nice present for a girl!! And I iron.

ThatArtfulPussy · 31/10/2012 09:05

Agree there is absolutely nothing unmanly (as you say, like that's an issue for a two year old) about a toy kitchen - lots of fun. And a buggy (my DS has one of those as well). Having said that, he does also love his tool bench (and he has a father who cooks every day but barely knows which end of a hammer is which) - so don't write it off as a present completely in the future.

Original poster
RollingThunder · 31/10/2012 09:06

Ll31, she turned around with ds1 and told us that there was nothing wrong with him and that people were 'only telling us what we wanted to hear!'

So she may not be trying to upset us, but she is certainly not trying not to upset us.

All I can think with ds2 is that she probably thinks I have already messed up ds1 (by wanting him to have autism don't ya know) and wants to make sure ds2 turns out completely normal !!!!

OP posts:
SlightlySuperiorPeasant · 31/10/2012 09:07

Ah, I was going to suggest Gordon Ramsay... He's a lot of things but girly? :o

2yo DS has a toy kitchen. He makes me sandwiches.

Original poster
RollingThunder · 31/10/2012 09:09

Theartfullpussy I will happily buy him a tool bench in the future too, ( as I would a girl) but at the moment I just think he would get much more fun out of a toy kitchen and not be sure what a tool bench is (not that much DIY in our house)

OP posts:
CookingFunt · 31/10/2012 09:09

My friend refuses to buy regular Lego for her DD and only buys the pink/purple version. Its more expensive too.

Dawndonna · 31/10/2012 09:10

DS1. Bank manager, Rugby Player, Band Member, Amazing Cook.
We too were told the same when he got a cooker at about two. He loved it.
As for the Autism stuff. We had this with Ds2. I sat the person concerned down, explained things very carefully and told her, gently but firmly, it was my way or the highway. It sorted.

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