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AIBU?

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Original poster

Teachers chugging

74 replies

socharlotte · 25/10/2012 19:15

So school charity week.3 kids at the school.One of the events was a non-uniform day to spend with a 'suggested donation' of £2 each which would have cost me £6 which I can't afford so I gave them 50p each.One of the kids was ok because theyjust passed a box round to put their donations in.The other 2 , were given a hard time by the teachers. One was told to bring some more in tomorrow, the other one called the boy before him 'tight' because he only had £1.20 , so poor DS felt obliged to put the 50p plus borrow £1 from a friend to put in.
I am hopping mad.Encouraging charitable giving is one thing, but IMO this crosses the line into bullying people into giving more than they can afford.Would I be unreasonable to email the school to tell them this.

OP posts:
HeinousHecate · 25/10/2012 19:16

Not at all.

I'd go in and tell them.

They must not lose sight of the fact that some children can't give the money! What if the parents don't have it?

Charity collecting is not a reason to humiliate children and I would be very very cross about it.

SauvignonBlanche · 25/10/2012 19:17

YWNBU, they haven't thought this through.

McHappyPants2012 · 25/10/2012 19:20

YANBU.

£6 is alot for some people, i can do 2 meals for my DC with that and atm money is tight.

speak to the school, because humiliate children for money is very wrong

BackforGood · 25/10/2012 19:24

YANBU. I would go in and speak to the Head face to face if that's possible - always better than an e-mail or letter, but I understand that's difficult if you are out at work. I think 2nd best is a phone call.
I would speak to senior management about it though.
Our non-uniform days are always "a donation" and it's entirely up to you what you send.

BrianButterfield · 25/10/2012 19:30

When we have non-uniform days we get an envelope in our pigeonholes. I give it to a willing member of my form and they collect the money. I genuinely have no idea who does or doesn't give money; I don't ask and none of the collectors have ever told me anything. I know some put in extra to cover others sometimes but in a very discreet way. It's not my place to shake them down for cash and I would feel very very uncomfortable doing it.

teacherwith2kids · 25/10/2012 19:31

YANBU, I'm really cross for you.

We put so much effort into all this kind of stuff where I work - all donations into a special covered bucket as children come into school so children can put anything from 1p to £2 in and nobody will be any the wiser, having sets of non-uniform clothes in school for children from families too chaotic to be organised for non-uniform days and a system of verbal information passing for families who can't read letters about such things. To humiliate children as you describe is truly terrible. Go in and speak to the head or phone.

Ilovegeorgeclooney · 25/10/2012 19:31

In our school we have a policy that the youngest in the family pays a contribution and the older ones are included. It works and manages to avoid such appalling attitudes plus we nwver ask for more than £1 per family. What a message to send that some gifts are not good enough!?!

vj32 · 25/10/2012 19:34

I think it sounds like the situation was handled badly by the teachers concerned. Next time you could prevent it with a phone call or a note to one of the kids tutors to say money is tight so you are sending them all in with 50p each. Then teachers know your kids are giving what they can and haven't just spent their donation on sweets on the way to school, without the kids having to explain that in front of the class, or just not saying anything and borrowing money. Although if they are on FSM, their tutors should know this and infer money is tight anyway!

vj32 · 25/10/2012 19:36

I would speak to senior management too actually, because the teachers were probably chasing the money because they were under pressure to collect the full amount. I think it needs rethinking as a whole school.

fluffyraggies · 25/10/2012 19:37

Note? NOTE? I'd be up the bloody school tomorrow at 8.30am with a rocket! Angry

Their behaviour has no excuse and i'd be hoping, fuming, ear smoking mad!

GhostofMammaTJ · 25/10/2012 19:39

I would be inclined to tell them that if it happens again I would keep my DC home the next time!

freddiefrog · 25/10/2012 19:39

YANBU. I'd be having strong words

In our school each class has a collecting tin, each child puts into the tin. No one knows who donates and how much they donate.

fluffyraggies · 25/10/2012 19:42

I'm expected to cough up another 2 quid tomorrow morning for the privilege of my DD wearing her jeans for the day. I've just payed up £15 for school books. Revision. The week before that it was £16 for a trip which 'would enable my child to fulfill her History work criteria'.

F E D U P W I T H I T NOW

MoreBeta · 25/10/2012 19:49

Since when exactly did going to school become something to do with fund raising?

I dont remember it happening at my school but it seems like something every half term for our DCs. I can afford it but it is just annoying.

I even sent a letter to the Head of their former school suggesting we just put £25 on the school bill (its a private school) and have done with fund raising. The school before that I wrote to the Head and asked her to stop letting charities do presentations in assembly to 5 - 6 yr olds and promising a pencil and stickers if they brought in some money.

It really is beyond a joke. It has to stop. It is an industry and someone is getting a rake off.

vj32 · 25/10/2012 20:02

I think you need to complain about the teacher who called a boy 'tight' and about the atmosphere in the classrooms that made your DC uncomfortable.

But I still think after complaining it would make you life easier if you just wrote a signed note in your children's planner saying 'Our donation today is 50p.'

mrscumberbatch · 25/10/2012 20:04

Chugging is another word for having a wank up here.

I saw the title and said aloud 'Of course they bloody are!!'

ravenAK · 25/10/2012 20:16

YANBU.

I have a year 8 tutor group. They collect the money themselves (everyone drops it into a manila envelope). No-one knows how much anyone else is contributing.

Then - & I don't like this especially - the bursar tots it all up & the form that contributes the most gets a prize Hmm.

BoneyBackJefferson · 25/10/2012 20:17

don't take part in the day.

Send them in in uniform.

whathasthecatdonenow · 25/10/2012 20:22

YANBU.

Teachers should not be handling money at all. It is one of the tasks that we shouldn't do anymore as it doesn't require a qualified teacher's skills. We have a finance office for that. Members of SLT come round to each form with an envelope, stick it on a desk in the middle of the room and the kids put their donations in as they mill about collecting their reading books/colouring in their credits. The member of SLT then comes back down the corridor collecting the envelopes and deposits them in the finance office. I keep an eye on the envelope to make sure no money comes out of it, but neither I nor the students know who has/has not contributed.

MamaBear17 · 25/10/2012 20:23

I am a teacher and I completely agree that your DC's school is out of order. Schools tend to organise charity events as a way of promoting social and emotional development and getting pupils to think about the wider community, but there are so many events throughout the year and the financial pressure on parents is high. I hate non-uniform days (our kids pay £1) because there are always kids whose parents just can not afford it and it seems so unfair that they have to come in wearing their school uniform. If I were you I would see the head. A teacher should not be harrasing your kid for more money.

nokidshere · 25/10/2012 20:55

I read these teacher threads and am absolutely astounded that there are teachers in our school speaking to the children in such a horrible way.

None of our children are ever made to feel humiliated if they dont bring the donation. They still wear own clothes or whatever even if they cant afford to give the pound.

SeagullsAreLikeThat · 25/10/2012 21:00

Teacherwith2kids - can I just say what a lovely school yours sounds like to actually keep non-uniform clothes in for those who turn up in uniform. I once forgot it was fancy dress day for my DS at Pre-school and was mortified for him that he was the only one in normal clothes. Not that he gave two hoots! Just think your whole system sounds so child/family focused, it's lovely.

Dominodonkey · 25/10/2012 21:15

YANBU as £6 is a lot of money and a family donation seems reasonable. However, I would not be impressed if a child came in with brand new trainers and a Hollister top and told me they could not afford a pound for starving children.
I teach secondary and I have also been known, when a child has forgotten their money, to comment that they didn't forget to wear their own clothes so I am not impressed. The 'tight' comment sounds a little harsh though.
It does seem that there are too many of these things at some schools but £1 3 times a year at my school is not unreasonable and I think most children should be able to pay this out of their pocket money.

aamia · 25/10/2012 21:57

In our school you either come in home clothes and bring the donation (never more than £1), or you come in school uniform. Some kids forget, some would prefer to wear uniform, and some can't bring the money in. Enough from each category occur that it's not a big deal who is in uniform and who isn't. No-one is ever mean to those who aren't in home clothes.

kim147 · 25/10/2012 22:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.