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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a bit weirded out by my postman?

37 replies

iHaveNoIkea · 24/10/2012 00:04

So since i had DD 7 months ago I'm at home a lot and always the one in to collect parcels etc.

We have a new regular person who seems nice enough but now I feel he's beginning to get a bit over familiar. He will comment on what I'm wearing like if I'm still in pyjamas etc or if I've ordered a lot of stuff online.

I went to the shop quite a way from my house and saw him and he asked me where I was the other day as I missed a parcel.

When other members of my family answer the door to him he seems put out and says he usually sees me and asks their relation to me.

Aibu to be a bit weirded out by this? I don't mind polite conversation but I'm starting to dread answering the door!!

OP posts:
defineme · 24/10/2012 00:06

Yes he's being overfamiliar. I'm not sure what you can do.

lalaland30008 · 24/10/2012 00:07

I wouldn't like it, although he is probably just trying to be friendly and doesn't have the same boundaries as you or most people.

InSPsFanjoNoOneHearsYouScream · 24/10/2012 00:07

He might just have a crush on you.

My postman is gorgeous btw

WorraLiberty · 24/10/2012 00:09

He'll be 'put out' because he needs to leave the parcel with the home owner/tenant, so of course he has to ask who they are if they're a stranger to him.

The rest of it, well it sounds like the sort of banal chat you make with people when you have an often mind numbing job.

wannabedomesticgoddess · 24/10/2012 00:12

Not strictly true worra.

Posties can now leave parcels with your neighbours.

He sounds creepy OP.

WorraLiberty · 24/10/2012 00:15

Of course they can but surely it's sensible to ask who the person is when they answer the door in someone else's home?

Just in case the parcel goes missing?

I've read the OP twice now and I'm not getting 'creepy' at all....just 'conversation maker' in an otherwise boring job.

A bit like a supermarket checkout assistant, trying to make small talk.

wannabedomesticgoddess · 24/10/2012 00:18

My neighbour is more likely to steal a parcel than anyone who would be in my home though.

Original poster
iHaveNoIkea · 24/10/2012 00:18

@worra I live with my parents and am young enough for it to be obvious iyswim so I don't think it was that. Also I don't think posties ask everyone that answers a door if they are the homeowner/tenant before leaving a parcel do they? I certainly never got asked!

OP posts:
Cluffyfunt · 24/10/2012 00:18

Not a lot you can do as he hasn't really done anything wrong.

I had (not had tee hee!) a milk man like that.
He had a 'thing' about my feet Confused and would offer to do reflectology and paint my nails Shock

I was a total wuss and cancelled my milk order though.

I also had a window cleaner kind of stalk me.

It's crap when someone makes you feel uncomfortable like that.
You could try being very brisk and busy/distracted, not getting into any sort of dialogue with him.

imperialstateknickers · 24/10/2012 00:19

wannabe Depends on the parcel, sometimes they are marked to be delivered to house only, and I think you're meant to 'opt in' to safe place/with a neighbour.

I think Worra's probably right about the banal chat and mind-numbing job bit.

unexpectediteminbaggingarea · 24/10/2012 00:21

People always get overfamiliar with me. Our window cleaner once let himself into our house (still not sure how) and then got locked in the downstairs loo. Our neighbour heard him shouting out of the window for help.

A supermarket checkout woman recently told me that her daughter in law 'is a stupid bitch', which I thought was a bit much, really. It wasn't even Asda.

OP don't worry about it. Maybe he does have a teeny crush, maybe he's just pleased to have someone to talk to. Either way it's a tiny part of your day, surely? Unless he's actively following you around or reading your mail.

wannabedomesticgoddess · 24/10/2012 00:21

Isnt the neighbour thing now opt out?

I ask because it annoys me. We keep getting parcels for the neighbours and our parcel was already next door in the time it took DP to walk to the door!

Our postman is crap though so maybe thats just here.

WorraLiberty · 24/10/2012 00:22

Oh I don't know perhaps it's just me but it seems nowadays, half the country is moaning about people not being as friendly as they used to be, and the other half are calling anyone making friendly chat - creepy or annoying.

It seems some people can't win.

He might well be mortified if he knew you felt this way and never bother talking to you again.

uggmum · 24/10/2012 00:23

When I last saw my postman he said, ' I didn't recognise you with your clothes on'.

He usually sees me in my pyjamas and I was actually dressed on this occasion.

Original poster
iHaveNoIkea · 24/10/2012 00:26

I'm not quite sure about the neighbour thing. He's asked me who I trust to leave parcels with so perhaps it's only with permission. But he comes to me several times a week with various other people's parcels and its bloody annoying tbh.

OP posts:
toddlerama · 24/10/2012 00:27

I had a postie like this. DH was always teasing me that he had a crush (he was a mere boyfriend then and I lived with parents) and I rubbished it, until one day he lunged in for a kiss! My dad had to answer the door in the mornings after that. I'm still mortified. He was about 50 and the spit of Trigger from only fools and horses. Blush

Original poster
iHaveNoIkea · 24/10/2012 00:29

Oh worra I'm really not a grump who hates friendly conversation he's just a bit much and it's getting weird. If it was a cashier or something it would be different as they're not on my doorstep!

OP posts:
FreePeaceSweet · 24/10/2012 01:00

OP, I think I get what you mean. Its hard to explain but you just know when its too much. There's a bloke in his 70's that lives on the next street to me. Whenever I see him he always makes a beeline for me and compliments my hair, make-up, clothes... everything. He asks what I'm doing, where I'm going, who with etc etc. He stands right in front of me and leans in when he talks. He blocks my path and its always me who says that I really must be getting on with my day. I don't know what it is but he gives me the creeps. One weekend when my mum was here I was telling her about this bloke and she told me off. She'd never met him or seen his behaviour but she decided that he was just being friendly and would it really be so difficult for me to humour an old bloke? He was clearly lonely and just happy to see a nice person... There was no point in arguing with her so I left it. A couple of months later I was queuing to pay in a shop with my mum stood behind me when he saw me and came over. He did his usual fawning and over familiarity bit. When we left the shop my mum was all like "Who's that blimmin' perv? Ugh! What a lech... He's got a thing for you hasn't he?" When I said it was the man I'd been complaining about (the stranger she defended) she didn't even concede that I was right after all. Her red face and cat's bum mouth said it all. :o

ibizagirl · 24/10/2012 06:27

I have a strange postman too don't worry! If he sees me come out of the house when he is delivering he sometimes comments on some of the stuff he is delivering, like any leaflets from my catalogue. He would say "are you gonna get some of this and can i see you model it?". I always laugh it off. He is married with two children and his son is in the same year at my dd's school. He sometimes knocks the door to give me a "parcel" when it is clearly a letter. He is a nice enough bloke but always seems a bit pervy or weird. When i pick my dd and her friends up from school i have to get there early to park. He has been known to park up and come over to me and talk and sometimes just opens the car door and gets into the passenger seat. Strange.

Feckbox · 24/10/2012 06:33

Our work post man is like this. I like him. The other staff don't.
I wonder if they train them like this nowadays.

EleanorBloodBathsket · 24/10/2012 06:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

girlsyearapart · 24/10/2012 06:42

spfanjo have we got the same postman?? I have a major little crush on him ..

pigletmania · 24/10/2012 06:44

No they don't worra, as long as someone is at home at that address to receive the parcel not necessarily the home owner. My MIL and DM have regularly answered the door to the postive and signed for and received Rachel's when staying with me when I've been out with no problem. He oes sound very overfamiliar, not sure what you can do. If it gets worse you can always complain

pigletmania · 24/10/2012 06:45

Meant postie and eprecieve parcels

PenguinBear · 24/10/2012 07:23

Stop answering the door, he'll soon get the message :-)