To be a bit weirded out by my postman?

[iHaveNoIkea]

So since i had DD 7 months ago I'm at home a lot and always the one in to collect parcels etc.

We have a new regular person who seems nice enough but now I feel he's beginning to get a bit over familiar. He will comment on what I'm wearing like if I'm still in pyjamas etc or if I've ordered a lot of stuff online.

I went to the shop quite a way from my house and saw him and he asked me where I was the other day as I missed a parcel.

When other members of my family answer the door to him he seems put out and says he usually sees me and asks their relation to me.

Aibu to be a bit weirded out by this? I don't mind polite conversation but I'm starting to dread answering the door!!

Instincts are there for a reason and you need to listen to them. My friend's postman sexually assaulted her over her doorstep: she didn't report him because she'd engaged in a bit of flirty banter previously and was worried she'd 'encouraged' him. Creeps like this with no boundaries who know where you live: I wouldn't be dismissing it as quickly as some here.

yanbu. I had a postman who used to creep me out. he'd stick his head around the door to see what I was wearing as I often answered in my pyjamas. He always asked personal questions about my love life and work and friends and made comments on my ebaying habits. My mother told me he was harmless but I still hid whenever he rang the bell.

my postman's a grumpy git but that's cool. If you think he is being over firmiliar then he probably is. You're probably not the only woman he does it with but if he carries on you have to tell him you don't appreciate the personal questions. End of.

I thought anyone could sign for a parcel? If he asks "where's Ihavenoidea?" when someone else answers, just get them to say either - oh she's busy, I'll sign for that, or ignore the question and just - I'll sign for that. When you answer the door tell him you don't appreciate the personal Qs. Set up some boundaries and don't let him trample over them.

And I thought I had problems, I have a couple of regular posties. One appears to hate everyone and the other is just mad at me because shock horror, he has to deliver parcels regularly. Today he was upset with me beccause I walked past him on the way to the school run. I thought I best not bother him and see if he has anything for me that's rude, but he yelled down the street at me and told me off for walking past him without talking. I can't quite tell if he is being light hearted or not. I wish they'd bring back the lovely woman who used to do my area!

Trust your instincts OP. Just because other people would find this a bit of chat and banter and it wouldnt bother them in the least, doesn't mean that you are wrong for feeling the way you do. I would find him way too over familiar and quite intimidating.

I don't know what you can do apart from being polite but cool and stony faced and not engaging in any discussions about your appearance or where he saw you last.

I get odd vibes from the guy who delivers parcels here. Not the Royal Mail postie, the self employed, own car, parcel delivery one.

I don't know what it is but my heart sinks when it's him. He either manages to turn up early so i'm in my robe or the minute i put my toe in the bloody shower later in the day so i'm in my robe again!

Not that it matters but i feel better able to face him with my proper clothes on!

For some reason if i am still in my robe he seems to think it's ok to ask what i'm doing. If i'm still in bed, has he caught me out (what ever the hell that means !?!?). If not he finds something else to ask me. He's a bit letchy (sp?).

I don't mind small talk and i'll always exchange a pleasantry but i feel uneasy about him.

I've never had the postie ask who anybody was when they have opened the door,regardless of whose name is on the parcel. DH and DD have both signed for them and I take my neigbours in every fucking day all the time

At our old house we had a weird, over-familiar postie. The worst was when he asked to use our toilet (luckily DH was home at the time). He emerged a good 15 minutes later....ewwww!

When we moved to this place we had a bitter-and-twisted lady delivering our post who kept criticising how much I bought online. I told her repeatedly that a) I rarely went to "real" shops, this was all of my shopping, and b) most of it was from eBay and plenty cheap. But she kept telling me off! I was very glad when she retired.

Since then we've had a succession of polite-but-distant male posties. Perfect.

I'll talk to any bugger but I had to stop ordering from certain websites when one particular delivery guy asked me out for a drink! I rather suspect he felt sorry for me :(

It's a fine line between being friendly and giving the wrong impression - well, I've still not got the hang of it, obviously.

Agree with Lottapianos:

Trust your instincts OP. Just because other people would find this a bit of chat and banter and it wouldnt bother them in the least, doesn't mean that you are wrong for feeling the way you do. I would find him way too over familiar and quite intimidating.

I don't know what you can do apart from being polite but cool and stony faced and not engaging in any discussions about your appearance or where he saw you last.

And I'd add - just say 'none of your business actually' if he asks things you don't want to answer.