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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu to shop friend to RSPCA

38 replies

PinkPanties · 22/10/2012 18:35

I have a friend, a friend that used to be a very good friend until i started to notice the way she treats her animals.
It started with hitting the dog when he was naughty, something i don't agree with but ignored it at first as was only light tapping.
She then started picking up cat by scruff of the neck to put outside if she didn't want him in.
All that was bad enough, then she bought another kitten & a new puppy.
Since she bought these extra pets i hardly go round there due to her treatment of her pets, can't believe she got two more even though she didn't like the two pets she already had!

Anyway when i do go round there i have seen her hit the dog for not very good reasons.
Throw the puppy across the room and make it stay out in the rain because it chewed a book up :(. She also picked new kitten up by scruff of neck and throw him on the floor because he had dared nick a biscuit of the side.
Since then i can't bare to go round there and was wondering all this time whether to report her?
Since ive stopped going another friend has come to me saying she saw my friend kick both the puppy and the dog repeatedly for peeing on the carpet where she had been out all day :(
I'm now seriously considering reporting her but how do i do it, and how can i do it anonmysily?

OP posts:

Ponyofdoom · 22/10/2012 18:44

Don't bother with the RSPCA, they are rubbish. I don't think she can be a true friend if you would consider shopping her. I would never dream of shopping a true friend. I think you need to have a word with her and encourage her to go to dog training classes as she obviously hasn't got a clue.

HeinousHecate · 22/10/2012 18:45

You phone the RSPCA. I am sure you can refuse to give your name, or give it and request they don't share it.

HastaLanugo · 22/10/2012 18:48

What Pony said. If she's a true friend, have a word with her first.

caramelised · 22/10/2012 18:48

You absolutely call the RSPCA. But you also talk to her. She is not your friend anymore anyway so you have nothing to lose. Tell her what you think, you have to speak up for those poor animals in her "care".

mrsconfuseddotcom · 22/10/2012 18:51

Yes, I would ring the RSPCA. She needs a short, sharp shock!

If you speak to her first and it makes no difference you will then struggle to call the RSPCA as it will be fairly clear it was you!

I wouldn't worry about shopping her. How can you be friends with someone who treats their animals like that? What a horrid cow!

catsmother · 22/10/2012 18:54

Bloody hell, report the nasty bitch.

This isn't a naiive pet owner getting it wrong through ignorance FFS .... this is cruelty and you would have to be god almighty thick if you truly believed that kicking a dog and a puppy repeatedly, and throwing a kitten across the room could be rectified by a bit of dog training. Anyone who treats animals like that isn't going to suddenly become a responsible, compassionate and patient owner by attending a class.

People like that should not have animals full stop. It makes me fucking furious and heartbroken to read stories like this. No-one, absolutely no-one is forced to take on animlas so why the hell do it ? Makes you wonder if she's deliberately got them so she can take out her frustrations on them.

As for "true" friends and not shopping them etc ..... words (almost) fail me. A friend can be a friend until they do something vile and it is the right thing to do by reporting them. Those animals should be taken from her care but sadly, that sort of person is exactly the type to go and get more when they fancy .... as if they are toys rather than living things.

catsmother · 22/10/2012 18:56

Misguidedly feeding an animal the wrong sort of food - albeit with the best of intentions - is what I'd describe as ignorance and the sort of thing which some education would solve. NOT sadistic behaviour towards defenceless creatures.

FreakySnuckerCupidStunt · 22/10/2012 19:04

I would report her, but there's actually nothing wrong with picking up a kitten/cat by the scruff of their neck, it's what female cats do to their kittens and it'll do them no harm.

Vets do it all the time as it calms them down, I give you the magic of scruffing a cat.

HastaLanugo · 22/10/2012 19:04

I actually meant if the friendship was true from the OP's side and she cares for this person, she should be able to say something. I do not mean go soft on her because she's a mate. If any friend of mine was seriously cocking something up, committing a crime etc I would speak to them in a bid to protect everyone involved. If that had no effect, I'd have no qualms in reporting to the relevant authorities, if a living creature was being made to suffer. But I think you'd be a shit friend if you just reported without trying to make her see what's she's doing wrong and helping her find a solution, which could well be giving the animals up voluntarily before the authorities take them off her and leave her with a criminal record.

HastaLanugo · 22/10/2012 19:05

And, yes, using the scruff is quite normal.

ZuzuandZara · 22/10/2012 19:06

OP, I would definitely report to the RSPCA.

Be aware however that when they visit she will undoubtedly deny the allegation. The RSPCA will check the animals for obvious injuries and advise the owner regarding training, discipline etc.

Unfortunately it is a very difficult complaint to deal with due to lack of visible evidence.

ZuzuandZara · 22/10/2012 19:08

Freaky OP said pick the kitten up by the scruff and throw it to the floor. That's different than your example.

Kormachameleon · 22/10/2012 19:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FreakySnuckerCupidStunt · 22/10/2012 19:08

Yes, but she also said that the woman was picking up the cat by the scruff of the neck to put it out, there's nothing wrong with that as long as she isn't throwing it.

ZuzuandZara · 22/10/2012 19:11

Yes fair enough freaky, but reading the rest of the nature of this persons treatment to her animals I doubt it's done in the 'proper' way.

catsmother · 22/10/2012 19:11

I've had cats all my life and know that picking them up by the scruff is fine if done properly. Throwing a kitten is not however. Nor is repeated kicking of any animal. Nor is throwing a puppy across the room then shutting it out in the rain. The scruff thing is rather irrelevant compared to the rest.

frantic51 · 22/10/2012 19:12

Picking up a kitten by the scruff of its neck is one thing but throwing it onto the floor!!!! As for kicking the dog and the puppy Report her! do it now! She has no business owning animals, absolutely none!

FreakySnuckerCupidStunt · 22/10/2012 19:13

Yes catsmother I'm well aware the 'scruff thing' irrelevant when compared to the abuse, I was merely pointing it out because I happen to enjoy useless facts and I thought people might enjoy the video.

ThatVikRinA22 · 22/10/2012 19:17

there is no excuse for repeatedly kicking an animal because it soiled due to the time its been left.

i have used the RSPCA many times in the course of my work - they have always acted.
i would not hesitate to report this nasty bitch and bollocks to all this true friends shit. friend or not - if i saw cruelty i would do something about it - that goes for dogs, cats, kids or husbands....

GhostShip · 22/10/2012 19:17

This isnt a question of friendship, this is animal abuse and she needs to be reported.

If you warn her, there's no telling she'll stop doing it. She'll just stop doing it in front of you.

AlexanderS · 22/10/2012 19:26

Report her to the RSPCA. What she's doing is wrong and deep down in your heart you know it. You can report somebody anonymously.

ThatVikRinA22 · 22/10/2012 19:27

....and wives obs....

ZuzuandZara · 22/10/2012 19:37

Personally I wouldn't do it anonymously. The RSPCA won't tell her who the complainant is. If you leave your details they can ring you for further info. If you do it anonymously they will only have the words on the screen that you tell the call centre that is passed on to the Inspector. Can be a bit chinese whisper ish.

onceisneverenough · 22/10/2012 19:41

Report her. She isn't about to stop hitting the dog, throwing the puppy across the room or kicking them because they made a mess. Those animals cant get away, this will go on and on for the rest of those poor animals lives as long as they are with her.

ThatVikRinA22 · 22/10/2012 19:47

when i have called them before they have told the subject who called, and it made for a very awkward exchange following - so if you want to stay anon then tell them.

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