Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take some wine with me when babysitting?

97 replies

UnrequitedSkink · 20/10/2012 18:05

I'm babysitting for a fairly good friend tonight while she and her partner go to a party. She lives just round the corner. I babysit for them maybe 2 or 3 times a year, and I've learnt to dress warmly and take my slippers and a throw as they don't do central heating (the kids get too hot.) Fair enough, I understand that people's internal thermostats are set differently and I like to be toasty, she laughs at me as I come in with my big bag!

The thing is, when my friends babysit for me I always go out of my way to make sure they're as comfortable as I can make them - I buy nice snacks, soft drinks and make sure there's a bottle of wine in the fridge if they fancy it. My friend always says 'you know where the tea and coffee are', but frankly, on a Saturday night, I'd actually quite enjoy a glass of wine while watching whatever crap I can find on tv. I don't drink to excess, but it would be nice to have a glass or two of wine in her frankly chilly and not very comfortable home!

So, my question is this - would you think it odd if I turned up with a half bottle of wine to babysit your children? Will I look rude or like some kind of lush?

NB - she knows me pretty well, I wouldn't take it if we'd only just met!

OP posts:
WilsonFrickett · 20/10/2012 18:06

I think she is incredibly rude not to supply some wine tbh. Whenever grown-up friends babysit for me I get them in a pizza, some snacks and a bottle of wine (unless they're driving).

slatternlymother · 20/10/2012 18:07

It wouldn't bother me! I'd be happy that my friend felt able to do so.

If children are so ill that they suddenly need to be taken to hospital; you should be calling an ambulance, not driving them anyway!

Caerlaverock · 20/10/2012 18:08

I can't believe the let you sit in the cold. Yes bring your wine, hide it in your thermals

Fairylea · 20/10/2012 18:08

Hmm... well personally dh and I wouldn't be happy at all (sorry) as we are both teetotal .. we just don't like the whole alcohol thing at all so we wouldn't want someone drinking it in our house yet alone babysitting....

But.. I accept we are probably inthe minority !!

Sal100 · 20/10/2012 18:11

If its that cold I would be taking some mulled wine in a thermos! :D

Fairylea · 20/10/2012 18:11

Not to drip feed but even though I wouldn't like the wine I'd definitely provide pizza or take away money and menus and chocolate .. and heating!

mogandme · 20/10/2012 18:13

I am a nanny - however when I babysit for friends I have been known to have a small glass of wine while I watchy trashy tv, and the kids sleep. If there was a problem ie poorly child - they would still be dealt with properly etc and if they were really ill then to be honest if they were that ill I'd either call the parents/ambulance. However in a professional capacity I do not drink when I babysit, however I have been known to have a small glass after a very stressful day when I've been proxy parenting for my current charge (however my boss is aware of this and has no problem with it)

Iteotwawki · 20/10/2012 18:14

I wouldn't be happy if a babysitter brought wine with them when I'm asking them to be responsible for my children. The nursery staff don't have a glass at lunchtime, I don't drink if dh is out (he won't drink if I want a glass and we are both home).

Would you feel as reasonable if your post said "I just fancy half a joint in front of the tv once the kids are in bed"? - many people liken that to a glass of wine.

They're asking you to be responsible for their children - in my book that means soft drinks only.

NettoSpookerstar · 20/10/2012 18:15

I'd be fine with it, but then if I trust someone to look after DD, I trust their judgement on anything else.

WilsonFrickett · 20/10/2012 18:16

Fairy if I was babysitting for people who felt the way you do then of course I wouldn't take or expect wine, e.g. if I was babysitting for a Muslim friend. But if they aren't teatotal then I think it's a courtesy to provide a glass of wine on a Saturday night.

SchrodingersMew · 20/10/2012 18:19

I wouldn't like you to bring a bottle of wine (unless it was a teeny 1 glass bottle) as I wouldn't see the need for it if you were watching a child but that's probably just me as I could be pretty drunk from 1 glass as I don't drink much.

I would provide food though and make sure you were warm!

SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood · 20/10/2012 18:19

mog, can I ask what is the difference between nannying and proxy parenting?
Sorry if it's a stupid question, I've seen it a few times recentlly and been dying to ask. Is it just to do with length of time responsible?

Original poster
UnrequitedSkink · 20/10/2012 18:19

I can see your point - and Fairylea, if I was babysitting for teetotallers I'd respect that and not drink either. However, they're not teetotal and I know they drink together at home. I won't be having any more than a glass anyway, it's not like I'm planning on getting shitfaced. Plus, if either of the children were to get ill, the first thing I'd do would be to call them and they would drive home. My car will be here at my house so it's not like I'd be able to drive anyway!

OP posts:
CaptainVonTrapp · 20/10/2012 18:19

YANBU.

They are being U to ask you to sit in a cold house. Surely they could turn the radiator off in the childrens room.

Really don't see any comparison to half a joint Iteotwawki. This would be illegal, make my house smell and in a small house could reach the children.

AgentZigzag · 20/10/2012 18:24

Do these friends babysit for you?

If they do have they ever drunk the wine left in the fridge for them?

I don't think half a bottle would render you incapable of looking after the DC, could you ask them whether they'd mind? Or do you suspect they'd say no so best not ask? Grin

And I agree they don't sound very good hosts to leave you cold and hungry when you're doing them a favour.

MikeOxardForHalloween · 20/10/2012 18:26

I'd never think of drinking when looking after someone's kids, and I would be really uneasy about a babysitter turning up with a bottle of wine. That's terrible about no snacks and no heating, so YA all BU.

Original poster
UnrequitedSkink · 20/10/2012 18:29

Do you know what? I'm going to text her and ask. Her house, her kids, her rules. I guess it's not fair of me to turn up with wine and not offer her a choice. and if it's a no I'll be busy next time she asks Grin

OP posts:
McHappyPants2012 · 20/10/2012 18:30

It wouldn't bother me, I drink when DC are in bed so I wouldn't see the diffeence.

eBook · 20/10/2012 18:32

YABU. I've never needed wine when babysitting. A hot coffee and a snack is fine. There are plenty of other evenings to drink wine Wine

Laquitar · 20/10/2012 18:32

Wouldn't whiskey or brandy be more useful in the freezing house? Grin

They should put an electric heater in the living room or turn off the heating in kids room.
And i'm shocked they don't offer you food and snacks.

Bunbaker · 20/10/2012 18:34

Does your friend not even have a gas or electric fire in her front room?

Itsaboatjack · 20/10/2012 18:34

I always leave a bottle of wine in the fridge and make sure there are nice snacks in for my babysitters, they are usually friends though.

The other way round though I would always ask first.

Original poster
UnrequitedSkink · 20/10/2012 18:35

Nope, no heating on at all after about 6 as far as I know, and I've babysat there in January!!!

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 20/10/2012 18:37

You'll just feel guilty if you drink it without asking what they think, but then, that could add a bit of spice and make it taste all the better Grin

NettoSpookerstar · 20/10/2012 18:39

That's just torture, I hate being cold.

Swipe left for the next trending thread