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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To take some wine with me when babysitting?

97 replies

UnrequitedSkink · 20/10/2012 18:05

I'm babysitting for a fairly good friend tonight while she and her partner go to a party. She lives just round the corner. I babysit for them maybe 2 or 3 times a year, and I've learnt to dress warmly and take my slippers and a throw as they don't do central heating (the kids get too hot.) Fair enough, I understand that people's internal thermostats are set differently and I like to be toasty, she laughs at me as I come in with my big bag!

The thing is, when my friends babysit for me I always go out of my way to make sure they're as comfortable as I can make them - I buy nice snacks, soft drinks and make sure there's a bottle of wine in the fridge if they fancy it. My friend always says 'you know where the tea and coffee are', but frankly, on a Saturday night, I'd actually quite enjoy a glass of wine while watching whatever crap I can find on tv. I don't drink to excess, but it would be nice to have a glass or two of wine in her frankly chilly and not very comfortable home!

So, my question is this - would you think it odd if I turned up with a half bottle of wine to babysit your children? Will I look rude or like some kind of lush?

NB - she knows me pretty well, I wouldn't take it if we'd only just met!

OP posts:

ChristmasKate · 20/10/2012 18:39

It wouldn't bother me at all.

mogandme · 20/10/2012 18:40

shriek Nannying is 7-7 / 9-5 while being able to contact the parents if there was an emergency etc Proxy parenting is in essence filling in for the parent - eg mum and dad go on holiday; so the nanny has them 24/7 for a week and has to make everyday descisions, or in my case my boss goes away on bussiness for 10 days and I work 24/7 for 10 days.

katiecubs · 20/10/2012 18:42

YANBU - no way!

If i was babysitting on a friday or saturday night i would definately expect a glass of wine, i would also expect the heating on - how rude!

McHappyPants2012 · 20/10/2012 18:43

It's a bit mean not allowing a babysitter to have the heating on.

The kids will be warm and toasty while you freeze. I just hope they are paying you well.

Baby sitting in a cold house with no nice snacks is not nice

SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood · 20/10/2012 18:43

ah OK thanks mog

Viviennemary · 20/10/2012 18:47

I would think it strange if you turned up with wine. But they should ensure the house is adequately heated and hot drinks provided and nice biscuits and or cake. I am always a chilly person and would hate to spend an evening in a freezing cold house. Though I have done quite a number of tmies.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 20/10/2012 18:48

I would never drink while looking after someone else's children and I would not be impressed if a babysitter turned up with a bottle of wine. I always leave soft drinks, tea/coffee and snacks, plus the heating on.

katiecubs · 20/10/2012 18:53

Am quite shocked at how many people would be against ONE glass of wine on a weekend night! It's a perfectly normal thing to do, i guess luckily i only babysit for friends who share similar views.

Original poster

UnrequitedSkink · 20/10/2012 18:54

Oh no - I'm not being paid! It's just a friendly arrangement really, she is willing to babysit for me if I need her to.

OP posts:

Caerlaverock · 20/10/2012 18:55

Why don't the turn the radiators upstairs off? They sound very tight

LynetteScavo · 20/10/2012 18:57

I am drinking wine as I type, and I think you would look like a lush!

I initially thought "oh, I would never do that!!!!" ...I used to do a lot of babysitting for money when I was younger, and although I am familiar with other peoples freezing houses, I would never have dreamed of drinking. (Why I thought they wouldn't notice a sneaky cigarette outside their backdoor, I've no idea. )

Having said that, a mulled wine would be quite acceptable. Bung it in the microwave to warm it up. Somehow that seems quite acceptable to me.

Just make sure you can walk in a straight line when you are leaving.

dexter73 · 20/10/2012 18:57

I wouldn't mind you having some wine if you were babysitting for me! Not loads but a couple of glasses would be fine.

LynetteScavo · 20/10/2012 18:58

Ask yourself, would you mind if your friend drank while babysitting your DC?

Wearsuncream · 20/10/2012 19:01

I wouldn't like it if you arrived at my house to look after my children with a bottle of wine under your arm.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 20/10/2012 19:01

Re the heating though, it's really not very cold today. We've only got ours on for an hour morning and evening (6-7 each time) and it isn't getting chilly in between yet.

RuleBritannia · 20/10/2012 19:04

Good way of putting a question LynetteScavo.

If I were the OP, I would not agree to babysit during the Autumn or Winter because their house would be too cold for me. I would tell them that as well.

Sharptic · 20/10/2012 19:08

I would not be concerned if you turned up with wine.

My parents babysit occasionally and they'll bring their wine with them, I trust them completely. Most people would know their limits and your friend would know if you were the kind of person who didnt!

suburbophobe · 20/10/2012 19:09

I wouldn't dream of not providing some goodies for a friend who is great enough to come over on a night and watch my DC if I need to go out...

Depending on the time they come over, there would be food and/or snacks and yes, of course wine or a beer or two and fruit juice.

Plus a cosy house, whether heating (best show them how it works) or a blanket at hand.

I think these are basics actually.

LadyBeagleEyes · 20/10/2012 19:12

I would have no problem with wine, I would about the heating though.
I see you said in your first post that you leave a bottle of wine for her when she babysits for you. Does she drink it?
Take your lead from that.

Sharptic · 20/10/2012 19:13

P.s. I like my babysitters to feel home from home, so they come back again!

StaceymReadyForNumber3 · 20/10/2012 19:13

YANBU I would never have a problem with friends having a glass (or 2) of wine while babysitting my dcs but it would prob depend in age. Dd is 8 and ds nearly 6 so tbh there are few situations where a babysitter will even see them throughout the evening. But I'm expecting dc3 and if it was a baby/toddler who was liable to wake at some point my view would prob be different.

Original poster

UnrequitedSkink · 20/10/2012 19:13

I don't mind a trusted friend having a glass of wine or two! And I'm cold from about September to April, some people just don't seem to feel it as much. Anyway, I texted her and she was fine about it, so problem solved. Am still going to feel like a lush turning up with me bottle of wine though.

OP posts:

IfNotNowThenWhen · 20/10/2012 19:14

I dont provide wine for babysitter, but only cos they are always driving.
I do always leave the heat on, a big fur blanket on the sofa, and crisps, cheese, crackers, fruit and chocolate!
I probably wouldn't show up with a bottle of wine. If they haven't left some for you, they prolly don''t want you drinking.

Shakey1500 · 20/10/2012 19:15

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest. I'm also the hostess (!) that leaves snacks, soft drinks and wine (or Smirnoff Ice if it's my niece )

procrastinor · 20/10/2012 19:21

Hmmm. I don't think I'd be happy tbh. If it was one of those half bottles fine but not a full bottle of wine. The smaller bottles are just over a large glass of wine so would be okay but if it was a whole bottle I'd be a bit worried that one glass would turn to two and then three. Me and DH drink together at home but one if us stays under the legal limit.

The cold thing though would drive me nuts and I'd be telling them its too cold. Plus I would be mortified if a friend who was doing me a favour turned up with loads of warm things and would be sticking the hearing on sharpish would never happen in my house as its heated to subtropical temperature-

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