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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think i ANBU to make him pay

41 replies

Fishwife1949 · 15/10/2012 16:06

Right my son has braces he is 12 nearly 13 and lost them about 4 months ago they cost me £70 to replace them he has come home today and broken some how the bottom lot and told be me cock and bull about a boy who pushed and and wouldnt yu know he cant remebr what boy or the year he was in.

So i demanded the france money he had earned to pay for them i cant afford to keep getting new ones if he brakes them again he will go with out as we cant afford to keep replacing braces and £70 and £40 a pop

When he gose to france he will have no spending money and at the moment i dont really care because i am so cross

Am i being unfair

OP posts:
MmeLindor · 15/10/2012 16:08

Well, yes you are cause making him go to France without spending money is a bit cruel - is it a school trip or a holiday with you?

If the former, then YABU.

If the latter, then YABabitU

Can he 'earn' them by doing chores around the house?

MrsKeithRichards · 15/10/2012 16:09

I think you a being totally unreasonable.

IneedAsockamnesty · 15/10/2012 16:09

i think yabu, and thats very harsh. you could have taken a token ammount off him and made him earn the rest.

Gumby · 15/10/2012 16:10

Do you think ge broke them on purpose because he doesn't want to wear them ?

LadyBeagleEyes · 15/10/2012 16:11

I hardly think he went out and broke them deliberately Op.
It was surely an accident.
How do you think he broke them, short of pulling them out of his mouth and stepping on them?

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 15/10/2012 16:12

Yes, you are being very unfair.

The poor kid probably doesn't want to tell you the name of the boy who did it because it was either an accident and he doesn't want you to go ballistic and embarrass him, or someone did it while they were being horrible to him and he doesn't want any more fall out.

Punishing him for it is not the way to go. You need to reassure him that you will be calm about dealing with the situation if he tells you the truth about what happened, and mean it!

Also, the braces are something he has to have, not that he wants to have. It's unfair to punish him because of something he can't help.

LFCisTarkaDahl · 15/10/2012 16:12

Why don't you just not replace them ?

I told dd I would have her braces removed if she broke them again - the ortho agreed - neither of us are inside her mouth so she had to learn to be more careful.

McHappyPants2012 · 15/10/2012 16:13

I would be asking the dentist why are they getting broken so easily. I don't know much about braces but ain't they fixed into the mouth

Original poster
Fishwife1949 · 15/10/2012 16:15

He wasnt wearing them thats how they hot broken they are supposed to be in his mouth and when he is eating he has a box which they go in

Clamis he was pushed no futher explaintion has been given when i ask for details suddenly he cant remember Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
Fishwife1949 · 15/10/2012 16:15

He jas the ones which click in and out

OP posts:
Original poster
Fishwife1949 · 15/10/2012 16:17

LFCisTarkaDahl trust me this wil be the last time and now the braces ARE IN HIM he will be more carful i find when his money has gone into things he trats them a lot better

OP posts:
OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 15/10/2012 16:18

He an remember, he doesn't want to tell you. You need to think about why that might be.

Mummiesarescary · 15/10/2012 16:18

I don't think yabu. Tell him he can do some chores to earn money for France

Original poster
Fishwife1949 · 15/10/2012 16:19

Because most likey he was not wearing them and they were in his pocket like last week when he naerly sat on them gurrr

OP posts:
NatashaBee · 15/10/2012 16:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoupDragon · 15/10/2012 16:22

DS1 (13) lost his brace at a cost of £165. Then he broke one at a cost of £165.

He is now doing chores to pay the money back so that he feels the cost.

QuintessentialShadows · 15/10/2012 16:23

Can you not get him permanent rather than removable braces?

SoupDragon · 15/10/2012 16:24

The same DS also had to start ironing his own school shirts at £1 a shirt to "pay back" the 2x£10 bus passes he lost.

SoupDragon · 15/10/2012 16:25

Quint, that would be down to the orthodontist. Different braces do different things. Certainly DSs can not be replaced by train tracks.

digerd · 15/10/2012 16:25

I agree, and feel concerned for him. If it was just carelessness on his part and trying to blame someone else, he should have to pay in some way, but do not refuse him any money for his school holiday in France, when he's back then he should " pay the price" for his silly behaviour. But I am concerned he could have been bullied, and does not want to tell you.

MacyGracy · 15/10/2012 16:27

As a 35 year old wearing night retainers (same thing really as Invisalign) I have already lost 1 set after two months. I just don't think this type of brace is suitable for a child. Realise you have already paid for them (quite a lot), but I think it will happen again to be honest. YABU.

Bogeyface · 15/10/2012 16:28

I wouldnt send him away without spending money, but I would take something of his as "security" that he can have back when he has worked off the debt to you.

Outraged I think the reason he doesnt want to tell the OP is because he wasnt wearing them, was buggering about and they got broke. The same way my sons brand new phone got broke. He wasnt supposed to have it in school, he lied and said he handed it into the office, as is the rule and some kid kicked him on the way home. Funnily enough, he confessed when I said I would ring school and then the police Hmm

Bogeyface · 15/10/2012 16:30

If he was bullied, why wouldnt he want to tell the OP if it stops him being in trouble?

No, I dont buy it. "I cant remember" is a classic tactic. It means "I cant think of a good lie right now, so I will say I cant remember and how you let it go".

McHappyPants2012 · 15/10/2012 16:30

How old is he

Bogeyface · 15/10/2012 16:31

hope, not how