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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

for thinking this is too many activities for dd in one week

46 replies

Chundle · 26/09/2012 13:08

Ok dd1 is 8.4. She does martial arts and footy and excels at both. Her weekly schedule at present is
Mon - centre of excellence training 35 min drive away
Tue - free
Wed - martial arts
Thur - club footy
Fri - martial art
Sat - footy match every 2nd week
Sun - free

At present she's home on a tues but our local footy team want her to play for their girls team. Is it too much to be out five nights a week at 8? Next April it will all change as she will most likely be on a contract for footy so will only play for centre of excellence so will be a lot less. How many activities do your kids do during week??

OP posts:

LadyMargolotta · 26/09/2012 13:09

This is the age when children do the most activities. If you can cope with all the running around, I don't think it's a problem.

CamperFan · 26/09/2012 13:11

I wouldn't want my DC to be doing something extra every night, plus something at the weekend, no matter how old they were tbh.

imnotmymum · 26/09/2012 13:11

No not if she coping. My DS is just 9 and does:
Mon: Maths club, clarinet
Tues: Football followed by karate
Wednesday:band
Thursday: Rugby
Friday:cross country
Sat karate, swimming, sometimes football match
Sun-free
All other kids have a busy schedule but older.

alarkaspree · 26/09/2012 13:12

Does she want to do the Tuesday football? If she does I think it's okay. The problem I think with doing endless activities after school is not having time to hang out with friends, but she probably has good friendships through both activities. If she has time to do homework, doesn't get too tired, and wants to do the extra activity, then it seems fine. If she isn't keen then definitely not.

Original poster

Chundle · 26/09/2012 13:12

Thanks lady we have a dd2 as well who's 3.2 I just worry that soon she will want to do something and we won't be able to do it all. Just didn't want to burn dd1 out either as long as people don't think its too mucj

OP posts:

CamperFan · 26/09/2012 13:12

However, having re-read your post and if she is really excelling, then I guess now is the time to commit and see if she has a real talent. Then perhaps choose one to pursue more in the future and one of them just becomes a sideline, iyswim.

Original poster

Chundle · 26/09/2012 13:13

Alark yes she wants to do it all! The times tend to be 7-8 so she gets a bit of time to play out before she goes so she gets best of both really.

OP posts:

CamperFan · 26/09/2012 13:14

Wow, two after school activities on the same night! More than once a week!

WilsonFrickett · 26/09/2012 13:14

Personally I think it's too much, but it's what your daughter thinks that matters (and you as the taxi service ). I suspect you'll have problems ahead when your DD2 gets a bit older though, won't she be hitting the 'activity phase' while DD1 still needs ferrying around? But I guess you can cross that bridge when you come to it.

Taffeta · 26/09/2012 13:16

It entirely depends on the child. And your willingness to ferry her around. My DS ( 8.11) has:

Mon - football academy training ( 45 min drive away ) - for 2 hours
Tues - free
Weds - football academy training ( 45 min drive away ) - 1 1/2 hours
Thurs - cricket
Fri - tennis
Sat - football academy training ( 30 min drive away ) - 2 hours
Sun - football match ( if at home 30 min drive away, if not up to 2 hours drive )

He has never been happier. He has such a need to be busy, and he adores football. I am not keen on football especially but he loves it, is very good at it, and above all, the coaches are amazing. They are a really positive male influence in his life and I love the way they relate to the boys.

I also have a 6yo DD who does:

Mon - French
Tues - free
Weds - Sports Club
Thurs - swimming
Fri - tennis
Sat - Rainbows and once a month horse riding
Sun - free

We really need another car!

Original poster

Chundle · 26/09/2012 13:17

Camper yes I think martial arts may take more of backseat next year when she's further up the belts anyway and footy will take over more. Of that's what she chooses.

Wilson I'm learning to drive as we speak!!

OP posts:

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 26/09/2012 13:18

I suppose it's ok as long as the child wants to do all this stuff.

I know people whose kids do something every day. My DS just wants to get home from school and chill so we dont do anything after school which is a good job anyway as I work so would be hard getting him to these places.

Personally I wouldnt want him doing stuff every day....one of my friends DS was doing loads but in the end he had a total melt down and she cut him back.

Original poster

Chundle · 26/09/2012 13:19

Thank you taffeta my dd needs to be busy as well! She's not overly academic and has some attention difficulties so for her to excel in sport and find something she's very good at is good for her. It's a fine line between enough and too much though glad ur week is as busy as mine though ;)

OP posts:

GooseyLoosey · 26/09/2012 13:20

It is similar to what my kids do and I have always worried it is too much, but I can never persuade them to drop anything (and I would really, really like them to).

Ds(9) does:
Mon - football training
Tues - music lesson (and cycling time trials in spring/summer)
Weds - martial art
Thurs - swimming
Fri - nothing
Sat am - football match or training. Sat pm always have friends around
Sun - nothing. Mum crashes out in heap.

dd(8) does:
Mon -drama club
Tues - music lesson (and cycling time trials in spring/summer)
Weds - choir and running
Thurs - swimming
Fri - nothing
Sat am - Dancing, Sat pm always have friends around
Sun - nothing. Mum crashes out in heap.

Taffeta · 26/09/2012 13:24

I make sure all homework for the week is done on the free day, Tuesday. He reads in the car on the way to football on Mon and Weds, and he does some other work on Weds before he goes as its a late session then.

He is not a sitter-arounder. He will play on a DSi, or watch football matches on youtube, but want he really wants is to be doing something.

Inneedofbrandy · 26/09/2012 13:24

I feel really bad that my dc only do one activity a week now.

Original poster

Chundle · 26/09/2012 13:25

I suppose there will come a time when she's a stroppy teenager and I can't get her put her bedroom! So best make most of it

OP posts:

JoshLyman · 26/09/2012 13:26

Three questions in my mind:

Does she want to do all of them?

Is she physically able to cope? Not just being tired but also with all the knocks and bumps she undoubtedly receives.

Does she have enough time for homework and also, time just chilling out, playing, whatever?

If the answer to all those is yes, then I'd say it was ok.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 26/09/2012 13:27

Inneed - dont feel bad, I'll take that award - my DS doesn't do any!!

Original poster

Chundle · 26/09/2012 13:28

Inneedof I wish she only did one!

Josh good questions. I think the only thing they impact on occasionally is family time but when we feel that happens we have a week off from everything and just chill!(despite the moaning and grumbling!)

OP posts:

Taffeta · 26/09/2012 13:29

I have plenty of friends whose same age children do nothing organised after school or one thing a week. Because thats what suits them and their child.

Comparisons are odius - mostly because everyone and every child is different and wants different things.

lljkk · 26/09/2012 13:31

At about that age DD was doing (literally) up to 10 activities/week. She managed. I struggled!!

She's now 11 & does 3/week. Sane.

jjuice · 26/09/2012 13:34

I think it's fine if she is enjoying it as long as you are prepared for the extra training as she gets older.
My DD is just 15 and excels at netball and does-
Monday - Free atm
Tuesday - Under 19's Superleague Talent Squad Training (3 hours)
Wednesday - Teaching at Primary school then Regional Training (1 & 2 hours)
Thursday - Club training (1 1/2 hours)
Friday - Basketball (for fun - 1 1/2 hours)
Saturday - Club training (1 1/2 hours) plus sometimes match
Sunday - 1 or 2 matches
The Regional Academy have just requested twice monthly 7.30-8.30 AM sessions on a Thursday.

She used to do dancing and martial arts plus playing for 2 other netball teams but has given it all up along the way to concentrate on her higher level netball. It's absolutely what she wants...and tbh when I read her friends FB walls I am so glad she is keeping fit and learning about her body and making fantastic friends rather than hanging around on street corners and worse.

My DD is 12 and he has martial arts on a Monday, martial arts and guitar lesson on a Weds and Basketball on a Friday

I am not sure how I do it...but it is so worth it if that's what your child wants.

Inneedofbrandy · 26/09/2012 13:36

betty makes you feel quite inadequate (sp) all these super mums rushing around being a taxi!

How do you all cook dinner fit in homework and baths ect? MIne come home get changed do homework play out or in with neighbours for a hour, have dinner a bath and spend time with me till bedtime. Only reason they do activity on one night is because a family member takes them.

mummymeister · 26/09/2012 13:40

my 3 do 2 evening activities outside the house per week and have a music tutor in once a week. They do a sport on Saturday afternoons. they are at senior school and with the amount of homework they have i feel that this is plenty for them to be doing. I also wanted them not to be on the go all the time but to have some time to be bored/chill out. we live in the country so they cant hang out with friends unless i drive them there.

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