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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

mother in law - monster?

40 replies

spudpudding · 26/08/2012 20:38

My mother in law has come to visit - staying in hotel - went out for a meal tonight and someone commented on my new hairdo - it is nice - yes she said hubby looked after the two children! - is it just me or would you take offence? i thought they had cut the cord?? and i did leave my children - at home with their father! spoken to hubby who just said it was me and should just ignore her, but she is staying for a week and she does my head in - any advice??

OP posts:
emsyj · 26/08/2012 20:41

My DMum thinks is is just incredible that I can actually go out for the day/evening and leave DD with her father - she quite often asks who's looking after/looked after DD if I say I have been/am going out Hmm. I suppose because she never had a husband who would lift a finger. I wouldn't worry about it, it's just a generational thing.

WorraLiberty · 26/08/2012 20:45

Monster?

A bit annoying - yes

But Monster?

Really?

Floggingmolly · 26/08/2012 20:45

It probably didn't happen in her day, and she's just amazed to have produced such an enlightened son? It isn't necessarily negative.

McHappyPants2012 · 26/08/2012 20:46

I took my father 4 years to get over the fact dh had the children while I went out.... Many debates over this

JumpingThroughMoreHoops · 26/08/2012 20:48

Does everyone on MN actively look for slights every time a MIL opens her mouth?

IMHO your rude, disrespectful shoving her in a hotel rather than giving her your bed and you both sleeping on the floor/sofa of the lounge .

Pick the bones out of that.

Tee2072 · 26/08/2012 20:48

Seriously? Monster? Because she doesn't agree that your husband is mature enough to look after his own children?

Because I honestly think that's what it is most of the time with these things. It's not that they think you're a bad mum. It's the they can't believe their babies can take care of babies themselves.

Just smile at her condescendingly and feel sorry for her that she never trusted her own husband enough to do this.

Pancakeflipper · 26/08/2012 20:52

Is that the worst thing she has said? If so then she is an angelic MIL and not a monster.

roundtable · 26/08/2012 21:01

Monster seems rather strong from what you've said.

Confusing post.

Floggingmolly · 26/08/2012 21:03

She has come to visit, why is she staying in a hotel? None of our family or friends would ever stay in a hotel when in our area; I'd be mortified to be so inhospitable. She's your DH's mum, doesn't she deserve to be made welcome in your home?

Tee2072 · 26/08/2012 21:07

The hotel thing doesn't seem odd to me, as we don't have room for everyone to stay with us when they visit and I give up my bed for no one.

But to call her a monster for that?

Peevish · 26/08/2012 21:11

Gosh, all our families stay in a hotel when they come to visit (from abroad) - our flat is tiny.

OP - yes, it's annoying, but generational to an extent. None of the older women in our combined families - mother, MIL, aunts - can quite get their heads around my partner sterilising bottles, far less taking care of our baby for a three-day weekend while I make a work deadline.

Original poster
spudpudding · 26/08/2012 21:12

could go on all night about the various things that have been said and why she is staying in a hotel - can't be bothered. Don't think that I will be posting on mumsnet again - thanks to those of you who were supportive, but the other stuff!!

OP posts:
Tee2072 · 26/08/2012 21:12
Hmm

Okay. Bye.

DoMeDon · 26/08/2012 21:14

She commented he looked after DC. Did he? Yes, then it was a factual comment which only loons would read into. Am assuming the others at dinner made no comments - you are the only loon!

squeakytoy · 26/08/2012 21:15

you would take offence at such a comment? you need to chill out a bit really...

Flisspaps · 26/08/2012 21:15

Eh?Confused

maillotjaune · 26/08/2012 21:16

The hotel thing sounds fine. My MIL does nor stay with us anymore due to 1. no space since DS3 and 2. her trying to start arguments (mainly with DH not me) at every available opportunity.

But she has said some incredibly hurtful things, none of which involve leaving children while you get a haircut which I agree is probably just a generational thing and no big deal.

If that's all she has done then turn a blind eye and don't be so nasty.

JumpingThroughMoreHoops · 26/08/2012 21:16

Mind you, conversely, with 99% of the fruit loop DILs posting on here, the only safe place fora MIL is a hotel

DoMeDon · 26/08/2012 21:17

Brilliant flounce

giveitago · 26/08/2012 21:19

I stopped reading when you said your mil stayed in a hotel to be honest. I was so impressed.

Viperidae · 26/08/2012 21:19

My mother used to act as though DH had just single-handedly saved the world when he changed a nappy as, apparently DF never changed one despite having 3 children. It is a generation thing, ignore it and pick your battles.

giveitago · 26/08/2012 21:21

Oh and staying for a week only in a hotel? Doubly impressed.

EvilSynchronisedDivers · 26/08/2012 21:26

My MIL once called me a pig-ignorant peasant loudly, in a local restaurant, because I'd objected to FIL referring to the Iraqi army as "fucking stupid pakis".yours is noting, OP, of that's the only objection. Wink

TheCrackFox · 26/08/2012 21:31

TBH as an example of monsterdom, it was very lame.

happydotcom · 26/08/2012 21:36

My mil says much worse to me.

Chill out and forget it.