Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Really loud door knocking...

106 replies

Spuddybean · 15/08/2012 18:00

Not really sure if i was overreacting. This morning i was sitting eating my breakfast in my dressing gown (9ish). I am 38 wks pregnant (not sure if that's relevant to my mental state!). Suddenly there was the loudest rapping of our letterbox. It really made me jump. It was about 10 sustained/continuous bangs.

I thought the house was on fire or something. So i raced to the door to see the post man holding a package. I said to him politely 'next time can you not knock like that please, you really frightened me' and he looked furious and said 'how am i supposed to knock then' and i replied 'perhaps a bit softer and not for so long, it was really loud'. He then stormed back to the van shaking his head (didn't get me to sign the slip) and muttering and swearing and drove off.

I could understand if he had knocked gently first but he hadn't. Also our front door opens straight off the street into the living space, so you really don't need to rattle the hinges for us to hear it.

I am very tired as not sleeping well, and the way he reacted has made me think maybe i was in the wrong. But i was really expecting him to say 'oh sorry' not give me a load of verbal.

No biggy in the grand scheme of things of course, but AIBU to think that kind of alarm raising banging should be kept for emergencies? How would you knock on a door? i always start gently.

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 15/08/2012 18:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OldGreyWiffleTest · 15/08/2012 18:04

Sorry but YABU - do you honestly think he can remember which door to knock carefully on and which not? Postmen knock - 'tis what they do!!

scentednappyhag · 15/08/2012 18:05

I'm with you on this one. We have a buzzer, and people always seem to feel the need to hold it down until I let them in- its the most horrible noise, like a gazillion bees in your ears having a rock concert.
Bastards.
The people buzzing, not the bees.

MyLittleMiracles · 15/08/2012 18:05

I always start gently apart from at my besties

It does make you jump. I was about 36weeks and got banging on teh door at 4am one morning from the police they had been given information that the person they was looking for lived at our address had used a machette to chop someone up, just up the road, and we were greeted by armed police!!! I stayed upstairs. Now that was scary and made me go where the hell have we moved to??

YANBU BTW.

WerthersUnOriginal · 15/08/2012 18:06

Yadnbu. He sounds as though he used having to knock as an excuse to be arsey about it cos he was in a bad mood.

Some of dc's friends hammer on the door. They don't do it for long though cos I tell em off big time ask them nicely not to. It sounds like a police raid and I don't appreciate it Hmm

Original poster
Spuddybean · 15/08/2012 18:06

My point is he should have not knocked that loudly on any door. Not just ours. The whole house shook!

OP posts:
flatpackhamster · 15/08/2012 18:07

Maybe he did, and you didn't hear it. Or maybe he doesn't knock gently because sometimes people don't hear and then they complain when they don't get their parcels. Maybe he has to do that for deaf old ladies who can't hear him knock softly. Maybe he's keen to get his round finished, because rounds are longer than ever now and when a postie's finished his round he doesn't get to go home any more, he has to go and help sort the post.

I think the only person who was being more unreasonable was that thread poster recently whose kids were misbehaving in the supermarket and got scolded by an old lady, and the poster thought the old lady was in the wrong.

CurlyKiwiControl · 15/08/2012 18:08

YANBU.

Arsehole to reply to you like that too, really rude, especially if you were polite.

All he had to say was 'oh sorry i didnt mean to scare you' and exercise a bit of self control, waiting until he was out of sight before cursing (not that i think he had reason too)

It bugs the life outta me, people in customer facing roles who cant be polite and curteous - thats what they are being paid for.

OHforDUCKScake · 15/08/2012 18:11

YADNBU. I had to ask my planky postman to calm down his long, loud banging because it woke the baby nearly daily but also like you Id shit myself everytime he did it. No need!

Original poster
Spuddybean · 15/08/2012 18:12

He defo did not knock first. As i said the lounge is by the door (think a coronation street terrace). I know they are busy but i was really startled. We have lived here a year and no one has ever knocked liked that.

OP posts:
icecold · 15/08/2012 18:17

It's not rude at all

He's a postman. His job is to deliver parcels to people. He needs you to hear that he is here with your parcel. He can't be fannying around knocking gently and waiting....and escalating volume and duration of knock over a length of time Hmm

Some people are hard of hearing, some people might still be in bed, some people might ne out in the back garden etc etc.

It would ne far more annoying, if you hadn't heard him and you had to go and collect your parcel, because her taken it back to depot

CurlyKiwiControl · 15/08/2012 18:23

I get that IceCold, but his attitude when spuddy asked him frankly stank.

All he had to say was sorry. Even if he didnt mean it.

Spuddy was polite to him, he should have been polite back.

Then shook his head when out of sight. He was just rude, no call for it.

I could understand if spuddy had shouted or been agressive towards him, but she wasnt and this was very clear in the OP.

If we were that rude to everyone we disagreed with, well, we would probably all be walking around as grumpy as that postman.

naturalbaby · 15/08/2012 18:24

We had a guy from a parcel company that used to hammer seriously hard on our door, every time.i was v.tempted to point out we have a door bell but he was the kind of guy you wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley, let alone open the door to in your pj's!
Yanbu

Original poster
Spuddybean · 15/08/2012 18:28

okay so i am about 15% U! :)

OP posts:
WelshMaenad · 15/08/2012 18:29

Yadnbu. Your house sounds like mine, we had a relief postie that knocked like he was trying to punch a hole in the door too, and it startled the fucking life out of me!

icecold · 15/08/2012 18:34

Why the hell should he apologise for doing his job?

He wad probably incredulous. Because its a flippin' mental request

Original poster
Spuddybean · 15/08/2012 18:46

I do get what you are saying icecold it just took me by surprise. Also thinking about it, had it been my nan's house she would have been quite scared/upset if any hammered like that on her door. I'm fine obviously (altho i my heart was racing and my subsequent driving lesson was a bit 'jumpy'!) but vulnerable people may be disturbed by this.

OP posts:
icecold · 15/08/2012 18:49

Honest to gawd.....you have your pregnancy hormones to blame. But the other people agreeing with you.....

vulnerable people may be disturbed by this

Shaddup crazy fool!

CurlyKiwiControl · 15/08/2012 18:50

he shouldnt apologise for doing his job.

he should for frightening an obviously pregnant lady, even if he thought she was "flippin' mental" Hmm and it wasnt intentional.

fine have it your way - instead of sorry, an equally polite response would have been to say "ok, i will try and remember that for next time :) "

then go to his van shaking his head and swearing out of sight if he really felt the need.

why share his grump, especially when he is at work, being paid, representing a large company who presumably value customer satisfaction?

OlivesTree · 15/08/2012 18:52

YANBU.

Fucking Postmen.

Mine rings my (very loud) doorbell three times in a row. Does my bloody head in and wakes my baby up.

GRRRR!

DozyDuck · 15/08/2012 18:53

Haha my window cleaner does this! Just when in getting DS to settle some he bangs on the door, when I rush down and whisper 'hi' thinking he will get the hint he yells 'windows love' (he isn't yelling but think really loud northern accent) then DS shouts 'windows love' all bloody night!

I won't say anything though I'm a wimp.

Original poster
Spuddybean · 15/08/2012 18:53

Sorry icecold i do think that an elderly person living on their own may be frightened by this. It is the kind of thing which would have really upset my nan.

Maybe we spuds are just genetically more highly strung like fine thoroughbreds! than others. ;)

OP posts:
Bunbaker · 15/08/2012 18:55

"How would you knock on a door? i always start gently."

I don't because most people wouldn't hear it. While I agree that his response was a bit sharp, he has a job to do. The husband of an aquaintance of mine is a postman and he struggles to do his round in the time allotted. Postmen just don't have time to fanny around gently knocking waiting for pregnant women to answer the door. So YABU. You are also BU because you get your post nice and early and we don't.

zookeeper · 15/08/2012 18:56

I think that is definitely frightening; i would assume it was the police or an emergency if it was as loud and as long as you describe . Completely unneccesary. YANBU

bumperella · 15/08/2012 18:58

I think fair enough for him to knock loud; he doesn't know where you were sitting, if in shower upstairs, etc.
Outrageous behaviour for him to stomp off swearing etc though.

Swipe left for the next trending thread